It's Not Christmas Without You | Teen Ink

It's Not Christmas Without You

December 6, 2014
By kHan4 SILVER, Des Moines, Iowa
kHan4 SILVER, Des Moines, Iowa
6 articles 0 photos 0 comments

"May he rest in peace." The Pastor closes his Bible and bows his head.

Everyone else proceeds to leave, but I stay. I watch as they lower my dad into the ground. Three days before Christmas. I miss him so much already.

Sitting in the chairs I watch carefully, as they do their job silently. I see tiny white flakes fall from the sky. Snow. My dad would be complaining already...

Funny isn't it? How one day someone is there, holding your hand, telling you it's going to be okay, and then the next they're gone?

I was there at my dad's bedside when he died. I cried for two hours. No one could get me out of the room. Finally, I was forced.

Now I watch him leave forever. I'll never see him again.

I get up after the memories, and slowly walk back down the hill to the small house my family has.

It's just my mom, brother, and me. There were four of us. There are bags of clothes in our living room. My dad always got the whole town to give their old clothes, to donate to the less fortunate for Christmas. Then we would rent a building and feed those who couldn't feed themselves on Christmas. 

After that, my family would go home, drink hot chocolate, and open the present our dad got us. He told us to cherish them. I did. I have a box full of all the stuff he's given me. A ring, a necklace, a pin with a heart, a picture of us when I was little, and a newspaper clipping.

They had no certain value, just the fact that he gave them to me. Our family doesn't have much, we live on what we need, and donate the rest.

This year, we have to do without my dad, I hope we can make it through.

                                    ***

Merry Christmas! It has been three days without him. We rush around trying to make sure this dinner will go as planned.

My brother, Charlie, is freaking out because it's almost time to eat, and the stuffing isn't done.

My mom is freaking out because there are a lot of people who don't know my dad passed, want to talk to him, and thank him.

I sit in a corner depressed. I'm not in a Christmas mood.

A few hours later, and we are at home. The dinner went okay, nothing majorly bad happened, but we did our best.

We arrived at home, and my mom started to make hot chocolate, like always. However instead of four cups, it's only three.

We sit on the couch, covered in blankets, not knowing what to say.

My mom gets up and gets out two small presents. She looks at us sincerely, "Your father... He... He wanted you to have these."

I look at Charlie, and we carefully take the gifts. I don't want to open mine, so I set it to the side. I go to where my mom sits, and comfort her as she cries.

"It will be okay mom. He still in our hearts. He will never be fully gone." The rest of the night we sit aroud, watching the fire crackle in it's place.

At 11:00 p.m. we decide it's time to go to bed. I get up and hug my mom. I take one last look at our recent family picture. We were all so happy...

"Honey? Please open this, your dad told me it's very special." my mom said haning me my gift.

"Okay," I said taking it.

In my room I turn on my lamp and lay in bed turing the present over. Finally I open it. A locket and letter.

I open the letter and it reads:

 

Dear June,

I am so sorry, I'm not there for you. This must be an awful time, and I want to see you so badly. Unfortunalty something has happened. I can no longer hold your hand, make fun of you, or tell you that this will be okay by tomorrow. I lost my father at a young age.

I knew I was dying, but telling you would be so hard. I know not telling you was bad too, but I wanted to be treated normally. This locket was mine. I bought it after my dad passed, and kept it with me forever. I want you to have it.

Please don't forget me. I love you. Merry Christmas. I'm sorry.

Love,

Dad

 

Holding the locket, I look up as if looking towards the heavens, and said, "I love you dad, it's not Christmas without you, but this will have to make up for it. I love and miss you."


The author's comments:

I have not lost a parent, but I realize lots of people have, especially around the holidays. I think that everyone should get to know that they still have them, even if it's a small token. You have to cherish the small things.


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