Chapter One- The beginning

I turned my head, the moon radiant and burnished, like a gemstone glared over my bedroom window. I was awoken by the sound of something mysterious; I leapt from my bedcovers and into the night. It was cold, so cold that it felt like my heart beat had frozen altogether. From below me was a sound…, it was weird. I’d swear I had heard it before.

At the place I live at now it’s hardly a home it’s just surrounded by a sea of cardboard boxes It hadn’t even been a week that I’d been there for. I missed my old home the sort of place were it smelt of rich candles and my mums home made cooking, not damp and vile like were we are now. I’d always remembered sharing my childhood in the place I used to live. The memories faded and blurry. I mean I’d remembered the county fairs and the countless hours I would spend on just staring around at the beauty of my own wonderland which was my garden. Even though when I was around five I suffered from hay fever I couldn’t stop myself from staring at the colours implanted on the flowerbeds.

Since I was inside a house so unfamiliar which was
on the outside of the coast, I couldn’t help but think inside my mind that darkness would somehow get the better of me. No brightness seemed to get inside my room apart from the moonlight fawning, through my curtains.

Every Step I took lead to more sound, my feet clambered across the long stretch of my bedroom. I reached for the door handle, but I couldn’t get my hand to go any further ,as soon as I touched the base of it I could hear breathing coming closer to me it leapt forwards towards my neck getting closer and closer towards my ear. Without a seconds hesitation I fell towards the ground unconscious.







My eyes were shut wincing I didn’t want to open them I wanted to plant myself in my small fragile world forever more. But as I heard beeps ringing at the side of the bed, I was somehow implanted in; I couldn’t help but wonder were I was. Maybe I was dead; to be honest it seemed all too late now to be worrying about if I was breathing. As I opened my eyes I felt a sensation that I had ever felt before, my rib cage seized up and I gasped for breath. I tried screaming at the top of my lungs but no one heard me. It was like I didn’t exist at all. Maybe I was in heaven but the pain seemed to be more like a was inside hell. Suddenly I heard voices
“What!...you cant pull the plug on her she’s my daughter… of course I have every right to see her were is she?.”

I already noticed who it was; it was my mum, Carry. Every step she took made the floor vibrate. I’d known her all my life and she hadn’t been the lightest of people but her hugs were warm and comforting even though I’d never had the decency to admit that she flattened me under her weight. She stepped towards my bed and beckoned in my ear and said
“Honey, its mum okay? Everything’s fine you just slipped keep with me okay don’t give up, your be back home soon.”
I nodded I didn’t feel like everything was fine. I did want to give up. For a matter of fact, the pain was over powering and death at this very moment would have been a relief. But my mum thought otherwise. It was like I was imprisoned inside this small room, compacted until I vanished into thin air. My vision was blurred I could see three rather bizarre men staring at me. I closed my eyes and opened them again but they were still there staring at me and muttering under there breathe. They all wore large white coats which blinded me, it seemed strange because it had all seem to dark and to sinister but now I couldn’t seem to get away from their dazzling white armour. I moved my wrist admiring that I hadn’t broken anything a load scream came towards my ears it hurt like scraping a knife against a chalk board. It was the nurses.
“She’s awake! Jane! JANE get over here!.. Call the doctors call the pain team! She’s awake.. I can’t congratulate you enough. Miss. Your daughter is out of her coma!”
“COMA!” I screamed at the top of my voice.
“Lottie!” my mum screamed back at me.
I didn’t know if she was yelling at me or she was happy to see me awake, either way tears spilled down my face. Carry went to hug me… I grunted and turned away from her.









Chapter 2- the dream
I Shut my eyes and tried to fall asleep, but the nurses and doctors kept me awake by glancing at me every five minutes, like I was a miracle, a gift from god, but all I wanted to say was it was only me, nothing special , just a disaster on legs. The days passed slowly. As I got my strength back I eventually started walking again. By a month I was back to normal cupped up inside my House which Id barely set foot inside.

This time of my life I didn’t want to even get up from my bed. I felt like sinking deeper and deeper inside my duvet until I disappeared altogether . Another thing that was getting deeper and deeper was my depression ever since that fatal night I couldn’t get the picture out of my mind. Every time I shut my eyes I’d see my murders dark eyes staring back at me . Above all of that, I had school tomorrow I didn’t want to even think about it anymore I curled up inside a ball and fell into a deep sleep.








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It was silent so silent that could hear every breathe I took. I edged towards a near lamppost and leant against its cold icy surface. It was like I was shovelling the air down my throat and yet I couldn’t breathe. Everything became darker even the bright light that came from the lamppost faded. Suddenly there was nothing but emptiness I shrieked and yelled and pleaded for someone to find me. But there was no one I was all alone and it felt like I would be trapped for ever. Then at that very moment a beam of light centred the black whole I’d been captured in and there appeared an ancient piano. I walked towards. I felt its wooden sides fingering every golden swirl. I’d never seen anything like it in my entire life. The markings made my head spin it seemed all to complex. As I perched on the stool my vision started blurring, soon after I found myself awake. It was all too bewildering. I sobbed and buried my head underneath my pillow.

Chapter 3- New Acquaintances
My alarm clock buzzed violently, I didn’t really sleep that much my eyes felt drowsy and my pillow was wet I stared at myself in the mirror tracing my fingers across my pale skin and running my hands through my dark hair. I looked dead, deceased, decayed I was only fourteen my god’s sake! I wasn’t meant to look this dreary. I peered down at my wrists, they were skin tight; my ivory skin made my veins seem darker. Then that was all I could think about my deep blood pumping around my body moving in all directions sloshing against my arms, legs, head everything that made me human... But then what if I wasn’t human? What if I’d never existed at all and I was just a ghost?








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I snapped out of it. All my thoughts made my head hurt; actually I was loosing my head. Edging away from the mirror I got dressed. My school uniform was bottle green, the colour gave my skin goose bumps. I tried to ignore my clothes and focused on my hair. Maybe I should stand out? Would the kids at my new school think I’d be cool if I spiked it up? Or would I look like an freak? I sighed and straighten my layers and made my fringe flop over my eye. I caught my reflection in the mirror behind me. I flinched, staring at myself what was I? And why did my own reflection scare me? All these questions were moving around my head and stirring into a giant mixture of chaos.

I couldn’t control myself I peered at the sharpener on my desk; the blade was sharp and pointed it was tempting me. Screaming at me to use it on myself. I took it in my damp hand and threw it against the floor. I blinked vigorously what the hell is wrong with me! Picking up the sharpener again it made a graceful exit out my window. But from down below me I heard someone, he said
“What the!!”
I looked out my window and saw my friend Dylan patting at his head discontentedly. I felt like laughing but I didn’t really want to I just shouted a lifeless
“Sorry”
“You know next time you decide to neglect your stationary would you please not lob it at me” He replied
I laughed under my breathe and shut the window.

I whisked through my bedroom taking my new school bag from under my bed . Inside it I packed a few items then fled downstairs.

I edged down my stairs, walked through the kitchen then made an outlet through my front door. The wind outside made my eyes water. Icy droplets fell from the sky and melted on my chalky white skin. I didn’t even know what time it was but I saw other people trudging down the paths leading to the school gates the same as I was; so I guessed I was on time.

Eventually I was at the gates, I stood still for a second putting my iPod in my pocket and placing the earphones in my ears for a second, loud music blared with an chorus of screams; it soothed my tension and I stepped forwards and flicked it off.

Five boys stood at the gates they all turned around staring at me. I froze, rock solid. I couldn’t stare at them back I just continued walking into the gates looking down. Then I clashed into something it was hard and brittle I looked up and saw a face.
“Sorry” I squeaked at him
I didn’t even know if he could hear me. My voice was so muted. I found myself shaking nervously the five boys stepped towards me.
“Oi” one of them shouted at me.
“Look- I-I-“ I replied nervously
“You what” Said another impatiently
I tried running away but before I could a freckled face boy held me by my arms and shook me frantically.
“Now look, no emos aloud” He said at me
I looked at him in confusion. He stared back at me his lips pressed tightly as if he was going to explode.

“Just let me through” I said urgently
His russet eyes glared at me, uneasily I paced backwards. People were crowding round, it was like being in a wall of death. I pushed through the crowds of people and ran down the nearest path my feet could be placed upon. I kept running the trees passed by me. I made a turn towards to forest and trudged in the thick earth. I stood still for a second breathing in the thick air.

There was a sound coming from a distance it startled me at first then I realised it was a whimper. I walked to the sound, as I did, it got louder and louder. In the distance I saw someone he was sitting on a low branch of a tree. I looked at him his eyes were watering and his cheeks were red, but the rest of him was pale.

He looked up at me then buried his head in his hands.
“Erm are you okay?” I questioned, even though obviously he wasn’t
He didn’t reply he just sat there quivering
He lifted his head , I looked into his perfect blue eyes.
“Oh” he said
I smiled faintly, I’d never had the nerve to talk to anyone properly, let alone ask them if they were okay, He smiled back at me and flicked his black hair away from his eyes.
“So what brings you here” He murmured
“Huh” was all I managed to say
“Bunking?” He asked in his lifeless voice
“Sort of” I replied
“You should go back” He said at me sternly

“ Well why aren’t you at school” I snapped back at him
He shrugged his shoulders and smirked
“It’s good to get some time of” he said teasingly
I nodded, he wiped his wet eyes and smiled at me again. It made me melt inside , I’d never seen a smile so beautiful and pure. He patted a space on the branch he was sitting on.
“Wanna sit down?”
“Okay”
I sat down next to him , he wiped his eyes again and blinked vigorously.
“So what was that about”
He looked at me for a moment then opened his mouth then shut it again
“Look I’ve gotta go” I said
“ Oh” was all he managed to say
“But why were you..”
He stopped me there
“ I wasn’t” he replied lifelessly
“Whatever you say” I murmured
A tear trickled down his face, he was mumbling to himself. It made me feel at unease. What was I doing sitting with a complete stranger in the first place? I felt his hand lightly brush against mine quickly, I don’t think it meant anything. I just sat there staring in front of me.
“Look I really have to”
I paused
I looked at his wrists red with anguish , red liquid trickled down his arms. I could feel my heart beat thumping through my ears what sort of person would do this to themselves?



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To Be Continued
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