A light feeling spread through her. It was like the last ray of sunshine shone right through her, carrying her up into the late evening sky. The lake water lapped up on the side of the little wooden rowboat, caressing it with its fingers, soft as silk. The dry leaves rustled in the cool breeze, falling from the trees. They danced a minuet on the way down, turning and twirling in no rush to land. She looked back to the dock- that rickety old boardwalk that creaked and groaned with each new wake that drifted under it. The sun dipped lower in the sky, tugging up the moon in its place and waking the sleeping stars. The air was cooling off fast, bringing a chill that settled over the calming water. Moments like these, she wished she could freeze time, if only for a minute, so she could stay there a little longer. Life was simpler out here. Her only worry was if it would rain. She knew that one day she would live in a house just beyond the dock, so she could spend every day on the water in her little boat. She wished she lived there now because she did not want to go home- there was too much pain there, too much sadness. She hugged her knees to her chest and closed her eyes, letting a tear slide down her cheek. In her mind she saw her dad’s smile, heard his laugh. Another tear slipped out and she quickly wiped it away. She could not let herself fall apart. If she did, she worried she might not be able to pull herself together again. She picked up the old oar and dug it through the water, splashing herself a little. When she got close enough to the dock, she reached out and grabbed it to help pull her in. She climbed out of the boat, causing the dock it to creak and groan loudly in the quiet air. After tying up the boat, she found the dirt path in the woods and walked home.

            Early the next morning, she set out again for the lake. The sun was just starting to peak up over the horizon, and the air was still a little foggy. The grass was damp with dew and all around, birds were sweetly singing their songs. When she reached the end of the path, she paused. There was a man standing on the dock. His back was to her, but she recognized his coat. It was just like the one her dad had always worn- a tattered red and blue coat made out of flannel. She slowly walked up to him and waited for him to turn around. He did not. He just kept gazing out across the water. She moved so she was standing next to him and gazed out across the water too. After a long moment, he rested his hand on her shoulder. The touch was so light she could barely notice it- like a feather had landed there instead of a hand- but she did. Standing there with him felt nice, familiar. She and her dad had stood here like this a countess number of times before. They would wake at dawn to come out early to catch the best fish. It had been her favorite thing to do. Standing here now, she had not realized how much she had missed those times, how much she missed her dad. She had tried to forget about him. She thought that would make it hurt less. And it was at that moment she realized she had never stopped hurting. All of a sudden, her heart felt like it had broken in two. A tear rolled down her cheek. Then another, and another. This time, she did not bother wiping them away. She just let them go. She let out the breath she had not known she’d been holding. Tears streamed down her face, blurring her vision. She squeezed her eyes shut and sank slowly to the ground. Her body shook with sobs of everything she had held in the past year. But she still felt the man’s hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him and saw her dad, looking out across the pond, one hand on her shoulder and the other holding a fishing rod. He was smiling. He was happy. Her lips curled up into a faint smile. She blinked, and when she opened her eyes, he was gone. She cried for a while. When there were no more tears left, she looked around. The morning sun was shining bright and the spring air was warm and filled with the promises of a new day. She took a deep breath and laid back on the dock, staring up at the perfectly blue sky. She was still hurting, but she felt better. She did not know how long it would take her to be okay, to feel normal again, but she knew someday she would be. She knew there would be a time where she would able to let go of all of her sadness, but for today, she would just enjoy the moment. After all, it was a beautiful day.