I struggle to catch my breath. I can feel the sweat dripping down my back. My body has reached exhaustion and my knees quiver, then I fall. I put my head down and breathe.

I am unable to demand my body to continue this insane idea that I can outrun my own mind. But it seemed to have worked because for one blessed moment I feel nothing. Then it all comes crashing back to me like a title wave. I jerk my head up in sudden shock at the force of the thoughts that overtake and attack me. “No” I whisper. Again and again, scenes re-play in my head. My mind has completely turned on me and is tearing my sanity to pieces

“NO!” I scream as if that would stop the voices. I leap to my feet. The fear inside me is stronger than my physical weakness. There is no way to make it stop. There is nothing I can do to regain control over my endless chasm of panic. I punch the brick wall behind me and scream. This stupid me! Make it stop! Please make it stop!! I can’t take anymore I can’t. I no longer have a say over my mind and I can feel every fiber of my being shaking in anger, fear, regret, and misery.

I will do anything to make it stop.

Anything.