“Did you know that the longest train station in England is over 600 meters long? That’s as large as six football fields.”
“Please Luka, Mommy’s busy right now.”
“Speaking of dolphins, did you know that in ancient Greece, killing a dolphin was considered sacrilegious and was punishable by death.”
“We were NOT speaking of dolphins.” Malina grits her teeth. Now deep breath and count to ten, Malina. Think of waterfalls, the beach, goddamn ponies. “Luka, you need to go play outside please. Mommy has a lot of work to do.”
Blink. Blink. Blink, blink. Luka’s huge, piercing, chocolate brown eyes peel back the layers of his mother’s words. “Work. So you mean you have to deal with dad.”
Malina quickly calculates, weighing the pros and cons of telling her son the whole truth.
“YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH DAD, DON’T YOU! YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO DEAL WITH DAD!” Now Luka is sobbing, streams of tears creating rivulets on his baby smooth skin. Thrashing as Malina tries desperately and pointlessly to console her son, they fall to the carpet in a tangle of limbs and tears.“You always, have to deal, with dad.” Luka’s sobs have subsided to hiccups. A sigh escapes Malina’s thin lips. She had no control, when Luka goes from zero to sixty like this in a flash. No way her magic mother’s touch could erase his fears, and worries, and incomprehensible rambling. No way she could lift the burden of autism off of his fragile shoulders.
“Luka, look at me baby.” Malina clasps her son’s baby face, stares deeply into his caring eyes, now shrouded with salt water. “I need to tell you about your father, everything about your father, and I need to try and let it go after I tell you. Let it go baby boy, because your father’s gone. He’s gone and he’s not coming back, not ever.”