The Garbage Can Kid | Teen Ink

The Garbage Can Kid

June 24, 2014
By Skiman GOLD, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Skiman GOLD, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There is a time and a place for everything." - Professor Oak


"Bro, do you even lift?" Rodrick the beefcake asked me.
"I mean.. I tried once... But I started sweating and I hurt and stuff," I replied. "I can however do what you can't. Add 2 and 2."
Rodrick scratched his brown buzzed hair. "I don’t get it." He then proceeded to count on his fingers.

"Come on, Rodrick, we're 17, it’s not that hard." I teased him.

He looked angry, "Bro, I could squash you."
"Brain over Braun, the pen is mightier than the sword!" I exclaimed.

"Stop telling confusing words and sentences!" He yelled.
I made him too angry now, I turned and ran.

My mop of black hair flopped on top of my head, my skinny legs pushing me as fast as they could.
Behind me I heard Rodrick yelling and Screaming.

"Milton! When I get my hands on you!" He called out as he gained on me.

And then I had the amazing, wonderful idea of hiding in a garbage can as I turned the corner. So I jumped in and covered myself with trash until I was completely hidden. It smelled like manure... If manure was combined with tar and a hint of maple syrup.

Seconds later I heard Rodrick run past, screaming and yelling about pounding my head in with his awesome muscles. I had no doubt that he was shaking his beefy arms too.

I popped my head out of the trash when I thought the cost was clear, and who else was there but my best friend Ricky, a short and scrappy kid with brown, curly hair. Ricky instantly burst out laughing.

"How did you get in there, dude?" He asked in between bouts of laughter.

"I was running from Rodrick," I replied trying to get out.

He began to laugh harder.

"Shut up and help me out!" I yelled at Ricky.

Still laughing, Ricky offered me a hand. "Milton, this is just too funny."

I took his hand and he heaved me out, then I tripped and fell on my side. I stood up then tried to get most of the trash back in the garbage can.

Ricky covered his nose. "Aw, man, you reek!" He said. "Like manure mixed with tar.. And..," he sniffed me again, "Is that a hint of maple syrup?"

"I have no idea," I said angrily. "All I know is that I'm slimy and we have school now."

"Ooh, rough break." Ricky responded.

"Shut up," I waved him off and walked down the hall to my locker.

Ricky followed me, "So dude you gonna ask Liz to that dance?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll get on it," I said, as we got to my locker and I opened it.

"Today?" Ricky begged me, crawling inside my locker.

"No not today. And get out of there!" I yelled.

Ricky climbed out, pouting. "But its warm in there.. Wait why aren't you asking Liz today?"

"Cause I smell like garbage.." I said taking my back pack out from the locker, then added, "And maple syrup."

"I like maple syrup," Ricky muttered.

"I know you do, but the garbage is more prominent," I said closing my locker door.

"Dude the dance is tomorrow," Ricky looked at me concerned.

"Oh god that's right.." I almost hit a locker. "Well I guess I'll ask her today then.."

"Should be awkward," was Ricky's words of encouragement, "Very, very awkward."

"Thanks, bud, real help," I heaved a sigh.

"You're welcome!" Ricky exclaimed skipping off down the hall.

"That kid needs to stop drinking monster and eating pixie sticks before school," I mumbled.

I took in a deep breath, which turned into two deep breaths, and ended up with a total of nine. After my intense breathing I made the walk down the hall to Liz's locker. It was exactly 36 lockers away from mine and every step seemed worse as more people started to stare at my garbage covered, syrup smelling self.

After what seemed like hours, I reached Liz's locker. Liz was blonde, shorter than me, and less lanky and awkward looking.

“Hi," I managed to spit out.

"Hey," Liz replied, then made a squished up face and covered her nose. "What is that? You smell awful! But a little bit like maple syrup."

"Kinda.. Fell.. Into.. The, uh.. Garbage..." I got beat red.

"How?" Liz inquired.

"Um.. Pushed.." I replied.

"By who?!" She was worried now.

"Not sure, look I came here to ask you a question," I blurted out, taking in a deep breath then spitting out, "Want to go to the dance with me this weekend?"
A confused look came across Liz's face. "What?"
"Sorry, it was a stupid idea." I turned and took a step before Liz grabbed my shoulder.
"No, I didn't understand you," She said.

“Dance.. You.. Me.. Together?" Is all that came out.

Liz smiled and uncovered her nose, "Of course."

"Really? You sure?" I asked, realizing my questioning was stupid.

"Yes I'm sure," was her reply.

"Awesome!" I exclaimed.

This great moment was replaced with bad news: the roar Rodrick made as he ran towards me.

"Gotta run, text later," I yelled to Liz, then made a run for it.


The author's comments:
I wrote this with the intent of creating a comedy because I realize that a lot of my writing is really negative, and I'd rather make people laugh. I came up with really only one comical character. I hope you enjoy it.

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This article has 2 comments.


Skiman GOLD said...
on Sep. 15 2014 at 8:28 am
Skiman GOLD, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There is a time and a place for everything." - Professor Oak

Thanks for the feedback!

Funne GOLD said...
on Sep. 13 2014 at 5:35 pm
Funne GOLD, Cleveland, Ohio
19 articles 0 photos 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I never ask a man what his business is, for it never interests me. What I ask him about are his thoughts and dreams."

-H.P Lovecraft

I like how this story contains some odd elements. It also sounds a little like a comedy script I would write.