The Beast | Teen Ink

The Beast

June 21, 2014
By C.N.M. GOLD, Carteret, New Jersey
C.N.M. GOLD, Carteret, New Jersey
15 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;You can close your eyes to the things you don&#039;t want to see, but you can&#039;t close your heart to the things you don&#039;t want to feel.&quot; <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> -Johnny Depp


You tell me that change is good, but did you ever stop to think that maybe change isn't for me? Maybe you just misunderstood or you failed to see. I can't change who I am, you'll just have to accept it. My first instinct when I get mad is to hit. You say it's unhealthy and I need a priest, but I cannot control this beast. Nobody can, believe me, they've tried. And when they put in all their might, they almost died. I can't live with the fact that I almost killed people with my own hands, but you got to trust me, it wasn't in any of my plans. These things just happen, it's getting out of control. Sometimes I can tame it by going for a stroll. You see, this beast comes out at the worst of times and it doesn't make anything better. I try to hide it by wearing a big sweater. The sweater covers my face so that no one may see me because everything just seems like a flea. They bother and annoy me and I hate that there's nothing I can do. But sometimes someone ends up getting hurt by something I threw. The sweater may block what I see but not what I hear. Most of the time I wish I could disappear. What if I wasn't there, would anyone get hurt? The answer is no because there would be no reason to stay alert. When someone says something that I don't like, I go into full beast mode. I try to stop it from coming out but no matter how hard I try, I just explode. No I don't explode with tears I erupt with words. The most common target of this beast is the group labeled, "nerds." I just say things without thinking about them first. I guess it's kind of like a curse. You tell me that change is good, but did you ever stop to think that maybe change isn't for me?



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