The deal with reality is that it is real. What’s real may not necessarily be desired and what is desired may never actually –no matter how hard your quivering palms come together as you pray or wish for it to- be real. Your heart will slowly rip apart. It will feel like the seams of what is said to be a strong fabric come apart, bit by bit, accompanied by a minute but audible sound. This cardiac organ will still be a competitor in the hundred metre sprint but it will also come apart as it may not reach the finish line and yet reach disappoint once and for all.

Reality is tough and it continues to be. Your vulnerable mind will overflow with thoughts to the extent that it will drown because a cup can only hold so much water until it becomes a hidden object that has lost its use. Do not allow that to happen. Do not allow the reality to sink in in a way that will cause such harm to a person with innocent intentions. You must inhale the intoxicated air polluted with foul mouths, obscene examples of perfection, and false depictions of reality, allow that poisonous air to work through your nostrils up to your painful mind where you will send a signal for your devoted lips to part making way for an exhalation that may relieve your pained thoughts.

It is quite difficult to accept that we do not always get what we want in reality. We cannot snap our moist fingers and as they slide past one another what ever we yearn for will come to life just like that. Remind yourself he is just another person. The saline droplets that compete down your soft cheeks and make an end on your fluffy pillow -which has been squished and soaked as if it were a leftover from a hurricane (does your natural disaster count?)– are not deserved by him. You do not have many relief workers to come to your rescue.

Train yourself. Be your mind’s own personal trainer. Be tough. Be reassuring. Be a friend. At the end of the day you will need a friend and who’s bony shoulder can surpass that of your own? His can. But you do not long for him anymore. Think about his voice one more time and that’s a night of sleep paralysis for you. Reread your long and maybe even pointless conversations and you will reunite with your obsessive compulsive other. Tell yourself that he is the only person you crave and will ever crave with such passion and that’s it you do not even want to know what’ll come for you.

You have got to accept that he probably, maybe, most likely, actually definitely does not want you. He does not desire you. He undoubtedly does not even care about you. He doesn’t even think about you. He did once. Oh yes, once it was your name his husky voice repeated like your favourite song, it was your hand he’d hold on to ever so tightly to make sure you would not leave and to emphasise just how much he wanted you, babe it was your body that belonged to his - every inch of your thin structure from your smooth lips to your flaring hair, it was you he’d say that adorned his life. Unfortunately, we cannot live in the past; reality moves on and takes everything with it. Reality is the fast locomotive’s engineer and you are probably just a speck of dust on the window of any named carriage. Do not leave any personal belongings behind, they will not be responsible. Honey, you most definitely cannot leave your heart behind, silly girl your cardiovascular system is essential for your staying alive.