She slammed the door behind her. No more tears, she silently pleaded to herself. Another hate filled day at school caused more time with her razor, new scars and ways to get away from reality. What is the purpose of my life? Is there even a point to it? Would it matter if I died now? Would anyone care? Would anyone even notice? Silent questions flashed through her brain as tears began to flow down her face. While she was in the safe comfort of her room, she thought about who she was and why she was always bullied and teased at school. Is it because of my clothes? Because of my weight? Because of my voice? Julie thought of every insecurity and realized that she was far from perfect. She wanted to have friends, someone to confide in, a person to tell secrets to, but now, none of that was possible. It was too late. If only I was skinny… If only I was prettier… Since childhood, Julie had been bullied and after a while of listening to the bullies tease her everyday, she accepted the words for who she was. Another wave of tears crashed on and she began to sob hysterically.
LOSER! SLOW! DUMMY! Fatso! These were some of the nicer names that the students at her school called her. She had always been the outcast, the new girl, the loser, and the last one picked, always.
Julie cried softly as she realized that she was living a wasted and useless life. It had all started when she had first moved to Chicago, when she was 11 years old. She was already used to being so hard on herself about her weight, she just needed reaffirmation from someone. Now, it was certain, and it was being unanimously inforced by everyone.
No one had ever cared for her. Nobody would ever care for her. No one really cared at all. Even her parents left her alone; they had to work and early every morning, they left to their jobs.
She fished the homework out of her bag and was pleased to see that no one had written mean notes on her paper, today. "I'm getting tired of the whole thing," Julie thought to herself, "Something needs to happen: either I need to snap, or they need to stop. This is driving me crazy!"
After finishing her homework, Julie decided to make some mac & cheese and ponder over dinner what she was to do about her bullies. Julie didn't realize she had fallen to sleep until she heard the sound of yelling coming from two feet away from her. Julie lifted her head out of the cheesy bowl and stared into the eyes of her irate mother, screaming at her.
"YOU ARE SO IRRESPONSIBLE! I TOLD YOU NEVER TO EAT IN BED! NOW, I HAVE TO WASH ALL YOUR SHEETS OVER AGAIN! NOW GO TO THE BATHROOM AND WASH OFF BEFORE I GET REALLY ANGRY!" Julie's mother screamed.
Julie dragged herself upstairs, half awake and glanced at the clock hanging in her bedroom. It was 3am! "Why was her mother so late in coming home? Where was her dad? Why was her mom so angry?" Julie thought to herself. Julie splashed water on her face and started to scrub the sticky cheese off her face. She walked downstairs, calmly as she awaited the punishment her mother would give her for forgetting to do her chores. Last time it was no going to any parties for a month, but that didn’t do a thing because she hadn’t been invited to any, ever. What would it be this time?