Fighting the Current

I heard the first few notes of the wedding march sound on the organ and felt my heartbeat quicken in response. That was my cue. I stood poised in the hallway of the small Catholic church of my hometown, my right arm firmly linked with the left arm of my father. It was time to make our grand entrance. We both took a step forward, beginning the long trek to the altar.

Time seemed to stand still as I floated down the aisle on my father’s arm. I focused on the glowing face of my groom. Troy looked absolutely breathtaking in his crisp black tuxedo as he stood beaming at me at the foot of the altar. I flashed him a smile as we reached the altar.

My father planted a gentle kiss on my cheek before placing my hand in Troy’s. We stood together at the foot of the altar in front of our family and friends, exuding love and happiness. Suddenly, a loud creaking noise filled the church. I whipped around; watching as the tall and ancient wooden doors of the church slowly pushed themselves open. To my horror, a large wall of water poured in from the streets, falling upon the wedding guests and me!

The cold water stabbed at me like a thousand knives, and I struggled against the mighty wave in order to keep my head above it. My groom was no longer standing beside me, and there was not a single wedding guest in sight! I heard a frantic splashing noise and turned around to see Troy flailing around as he battled the cruel surge of water that threatened to pull him under. I mustered up all of the strength that I could and swam over to my love as quickly as my billowy wedding gown would allow.
It was no use. I watched as Troy became submerged beneath the icy water and did not resurface.
“Troy!” I shrieked.

I was jolted out of my nightmare by a strong pair of arms shaking me awake. I opened my eyes to find myself face to face with Hilda. Her forest green eyes were filled with worry.
“Skye, are you alright? I heard you screaming from down the hall.”
“I’m fine, it was just another nightmare.” I answered in a hoarse sort of voice.
“Would you like me to give you some medication to help you get some rest?”
“No thanks, I don’t feel like sleeping.”


Hilda shot me a disbelieving look, but she seemed to sense that I did not want any assistance from her. After-all, she had spent two months getting to learn my ways. She patted me on the head, with a sympathetic look in her eye and swooped out of the room to go check on the other patients.

I rolled out of bed, not bothering to change out of my hospital gown, and clumsily stumbled down the hall until I found myself in the arts and crafts room. I grabbed a piece of paper and a paintbrush and allowed my emotions to control my artwork. My arms seemed to move of their own free will and I glanced down at my paper to discover that I had painted a vibrant image of a newspaper boat floating in a puddle.

I felt my lips curve into a small smile as I stared at the painting. A feeling of happiness flowed through me as I was transported to a different time and place.

It was summertime and I was about five or six years old. I scarfed down the last of the chocolate chip pancakes that my mother had prepared for my breakfast and hurried out of the kitchen, leaving my dirty plate on the table.

I slammed the front door and ran across the front lawn to the tiny white house next door. I ran up the cracked front steps and rang the doorbell, waiting impatiently for Troy to come outside and play. He appeared at the door a moment later, wearing a bright blue coat that matched his azure eyes perfectly, his arms filled with newspapers.

We walked out to his driveway, sitting down in the gravel, and began folding the newspapers into little boats, attempting to make them float on the puddles. We sat there for hours, laughing and splashing each other with the puddles. Just before we went inside for lunch, Troy looked at me with a cheerful expression and said “You’re my very best friend.”
“No, you’re my very best friend.” I said, pulling him into a hug.

I snapped out of the flashback, and found myself gripping onto the wooden table with all of my strength. I let my hands drop to my waist and crumpled up the painting of the newspaper boat. It was simply a painful reminder of what I had before it was taken away. Troy was my neighbour and my best friend. I had known him for my entire life, and we had shared the most wonderful friendship that anyone could imagine. I’m not sure if it was his captivating eyes and alluring smile, or his kind and humorous personality, but as the years passed the inevitable happened and I fell head over heels in love with Troy. He was my friend and the love of my life, but my happiness disappeared in an instant, without a trace.

I trudged out of the arts room and down the hallway to the washroom, feeling very much like someone who was possessed with a legion of demons. I turned on the tap, splashing the crisp cool water on my face in a desperate attempt to help me to forget the past. I stared at the water splashing down the drain of the sink, and was pulled into another flashback.

It was a crisp summer night following my senior year of high school. The house was silent, except for the soft sounds of crickets chattering outside my window. I lay awake in the darkness of my room, my mind filled with thoughts of Troy. Maybe he would finally ask me to be his girlfriend… I was jolted out of my fantasies by the beeping of my phone. I picked up my phone and found that I had received a text message from Troy. A smile crossed my lips as I read what he had written. “Skye-blue, are you still awake?”
My fingers hurriedly tapped away in response.
“As a matter of fact, I am, Troynado.”
“Do you wanna hangout right now?”
“Sure. How about we go for a late-night swim?” I replied.
“Okay, I’ll meet you outside your window in five minutes.”

I slowly rolled out of bed, trying to make as little noise as possible, and began to rummage through my drawers for the perfect swimsuit to wear. I settled on a baby blue bikini and slipped it on under a pair of dark wash jeans and a warm sweater. I spritzed on a little bit of perfume before heading out the window.
I quickly spotted Troy in the dark, his blonde hair gleaming in the moonlight.
“Hey.” I breathed, gazing at my crush.
“Hey.” Troy echoed, smirking at me. “Are you ready for another midnight adventure?”
“Of course!”

Troy chuckled before helping me onto the handlebars of his bike. He kicked off and began to pedal along the sidewalk. The cool night breeze swept my hair in different directions, and as we sailed through the night sky, I felt young and alive. Finally, we reached the river that flowed along the edge of town. I hopped off of Troy’s bike and began to trudge over to the edge of the water.
“I’ll race you to the water,” I called playfully, taking a step forward.
I felt a hand on my arm, stopping me.
“Wait a second, Skye.” Troy said, in a serious voice, spinning me around to face him. “I need to tell you something.”
“What is it?” I said, feeling my heartbeat quicken dramatically.
“I’ve been meaning to tell you this for awhile, but I couldn’t muster the courage to put my feelings into words.” Troy paused, and took a deep breath, before bringing his eyes up to meet mine. “Skye Turner, I’ve fallen in love with you.”
“What!” I exclaimed, wondering if this was reality or another dream.
“I can’t hide my feelings any longer. I’m in love with you. Skye, do you ever think that you could love me too?”

A feeling of pure bliss flooded over me. I couldn’t stop the tears of happiness as they flowed from my eyes. “Oh Troy, how could I not love you?” I croaked, bawling like a toddler.

Troy leaned down and wiped the tears from my eyes, before placing his hands on my waist and pressing his soft lips to mine. The kiss was long and sweet and everything that I imagined it would be. We eventually parted, breathless and grinning like fools.

Together, we stepped forward into the water. I splashed Troy and swam off; he followed me, seeking his revenge. “Catch me if you can.” I called, swimming away as fast as my legs could carry me. I finally stopped, breathless, and whipped around to see how far away Troy was. I scanned the area, but was unable to see my love anywhere.

I smirked to myself, understanding what was going on. He was playing hide and seek. “Don’t you think that we’re a little too old for such childish games?” I called, trudging back in the direction of the edge of the river. He did not respond. A chill crept up my spine.
“Troy?” I called, becoming anxious. I called his name over and over. “This isn’t funny Troy.” The crickets sang in reply. Reality sank in, and I began to shriek like a banshee.

Shortly after I called 9-1-1, I heard the wailing of the siren as the police car drove through the forest, followed by the ambulance. Police officers ran over to meet me, placing a grey wool blanket over my cold body. I stood there, shivering and sobbing, trying to explain what had happened. I watched as they pulled Troy’s lifeless body from the river, and felt cold and broken.

I snapped out of the flashback, and curled up on the floor of the washroom, feeling nauseous and numb. My life was forever changed the moment that Troy died. I loved him so much and I couldn’t move on once he was gone. I became depressed, refusing to leave my room and I stopped eating. My parents became worried that I would try to take my own life and so I was admitted to the local hospital. I was frequently sought out by the psychiatrist, Dr. Burke, to begin my treatment, but I refused his aid. I was tormented by the demons of my past, and I didn’t want to speak to anyone about what had happened. So I remained here in the hospital, as dead as Troy.

I pulled myself up off of the floor and walked out of the bathroom, entering my room. I was shocked to find Hilda, my nurse, standing there with my brother, Adam, waiting for me.
“Oh there you are, dear. Your brother is here to see you.” Hilda said. She exchanged a glance with my brother before exiting the room.
“Hey sis.” My brother said, attempting to sound cheerful.
“Hi.” I said, my voice still hoarse from my night-time adventures.
“I’ll wait outside while you get dressed. I’m taking you out today.”

He stepped outside of the room and down the hall, leaving me alone to ponder where he was going to take me. It would be the first time that I would be leaving the hospital since my arrival.

I quickly pulled on a simple t-shirt and a pair of tights, before walking outside to meet my brother. He walked over to the front-desk to sign me out, and we both exited the dreary hospital. The morning sunlight washed over me, feeling almost alien. We climbed into his beat-up truck and began the journey to the mystery destination.

We drove in silence, my brother concentrating on driving while I admired the scenery. I was captivated by the vibrant green grass and gorgeous blue sky. I was too preoccupied with my surroundings to question where Adam was taking me. After about twenty minutes of driving the truck came to a stop.

I glanced around. We were at the town cemetery. Adam stepped out of the car and walked over to the other side, opening my door for me.
“Adam, what are we doing here?”
“I brought you here because you need to say goodbye to Troy.” He said solemnly.
“I can’t.” I answered, feeling my eyes begin to well up with tears.
“Yes you can. I can’t watch you live like this any longer. I know that you loved Troy. We all loved him. But honey, you can’t let this ruin the rest of your life. You need to move on. It’s what Troy would want.”

I stepped out of the car and followed my brother to Troy’s tombstone. I was admitted to the hospital right after Troy had died, and so I wasn’t able to attend his funeral. I never got to say goodbye to him.
I knelt down in the grass, facing the tombstone.
“Hi Troy.” I whispered, feeling my heart fill with sorrow. Tears began to pour down my face. I wrapped both of my arms around the tombstone.
“I’m so sorry, Troy. I’m sorry that I invited you to swim that night. I’m sorry that I didn’t get to you in time to save your life. I’m sorry that I didn’t go to your funeral. Most of all, I’m sorry that I won’t get to spend the rest of my life with you. I’ll always love you Troy, but I have to let you go.”

I kissed the tombstone and stood on my feet, feeling dizzy and tired. I exited the cemetery and ran to my brother, burying myself in his arms and began to weep.

When I returned to the hospital, I felt like something had changed inside of me. While a part of me still felt I may never be able to get back the life that was taken from me on that fateful night in the river, I knew that I had to move on. The burden of Troy’s death was too heavy to carry, and I felt that it may cause me to sink into a dark abyss and drown as Troy did. So when Doctor Burke called me into his office and stared at me once more, with that same sympathetic look in his eye, I opened my mouth and allowed the words that had been building up for months to escape. After all, I had been drowning in my sorrows for too long. It was time for me to fight the current.