Eight forty five, AM. That’s the time that flashed at me when I checked my phone. The sound of rubber on asphalt rumbles all around me as I look back up and out the window, watching the other cars drive past us. I am on my way to a doctor’s appointment by the way, in case you were wondering. Well I should say we, I guess I shouldn’t forget about my mother being in the car, even though I wish I could. The car begins to swerve a little bit, and I glance back at my mom to see what’s going on. I groan upon realizing what she is doing. My mother, a very fit and active fifty year old, was currently trying to put on bright red lipstick as she drove.
“You can’t be serious.” I mutter as I stare at her.
“What? You want some? You need some color on your face.” She responds as she tries to shove the hideous color in my face.
“No! Mom please just get back to driving so you don’t kill us!” I say as I take the lipstick from her and put the lid back on. She sighs and puts away the mirror.
“Suit yourself, Lea, but you seriously need to put more effort into your appearance. You look so pale and gangly.” She retorts as she begins to swerve in and out of traffic. I don’t respond to her, I’m too tired to put up a fight at the moment. A few minutes later we pull up to the doctor’s office and my mother shuts off the vehicle. She once again checks herself in the mirror before getting out of the car. Now before we go on with our little story, there is something you should know about my mother, she’s single. You may be thinking, ‘ok so what’s the big deal if she’s single?’ Well let me put it this way, she’s on the prowl. Just because she’s fifty doesn’t mean she’s off the market, oh no it just means she has nothing to lose. With long black hair, a teasing smile, hips that don’t lie and huge breasts that you can see coming before you even see her? Yeah she’s a force to be reckoned with and she knows it. It doesn’t help that she’s wearing a tight pink shirt that shows off more cleavage than I thought possible… and it’s a little awkward. Since she’s all that and a bag of chips you would assume that I inherited some of her charm and physical beauty, right? Ha, you’re funny. No I’m just you’re everyday couch potato that would rather be on the internet right now than worry about my health. Brown hair, brown eyes, pants and a random t-shirt. That’s me. Anyway, yes this appointment is for me because my mom thinks I shouldn’t be tired all the time. Oh and we aren’t going to a ‘real’ doctor, we are going to see a… oh f*** how do you say it again? An endocrinology doctor? I don’t know it’s just some all natural medicine/herbal/meditation doctor that my mom believes will help me now.

“Lea please stop monologuing and let’s get inside to get this doctor’s appointment over with.” My mom shouts as she saunters inside. I get out of her tiny car and make my way inside where the smell of lavender hits me in the face. The office was filled with plants and strange paintings that I can’t even describe. A man sits behind a U shaped counter and smiles upon our entering the office.
“Welcome! How may I help you?” The plump little man greets us. My mom nudges me forward and gives me a look that says ‘Be sociable’ and ‘do this yourself you don’t need me.’ I go up and explain that we have an appointment and he hands me a purple clipboard and tells me I need to fill out some health forms. I thank him and sit beside my mom a little ways away from the counter.
“Why didn’t you want to do that?” I asked her “Normally you like to talk to every guy you can!”
“He wasn’t my type.” She simply says, glancing over to make sure the man wasn’t listening. “Plus I can tell he’s gay!” I groan and grab a pen from her purse.
“How do you even know that? Wait, you know what? I don’t want to know. Good for him if he is!” He doesn’t have to deal with you for starters, I think to myself. I begin to fill out the sheet they gave me, answering the random health related questions. Constipation? No. Painful urination? No. Exploding Diarrhea… Wait that’s actually a thing? That’s bizarre… Maybe next they will ask me if my heads spins while I give off projectile vomit!
“Hey mom look at what they actually have as an option!” I say as I point to the weird question. My mom snorts and straightens her posture.
“Young ladies shouldn’t laugh at such things. You know you will never find a man if you go on like that.”
I frown at her words. “I am not going to find a man if I laugh at an unusual medical question? Really? Oh and you’re one to talk! You’re just as single as me.”
“Oh I know, but that is going to change today.” She crosses her legs and gives me a wink. I arch my eyebrow at her. Oh she is up to something, I just know it. I hear the sound of a door opening as I look up from my questions, and what I see I just can’t believe my eyes. Walking towards me from across a long hallway is probably the most gorgeous man I had ever seen. Everything just seemed to go in slow motion as I just drank in his appearance. He wore a grey business suit that fit his subtly muscular frame, and a sleek black tie that fit smoothly around his neck. His face… oh god his face was breathe taking! He had a chiseled chin with a well-trimmed beard that didn’t overpower his face, dark brown hair with a hint of red natural highlights, a button nose, and bright blue eyes that just grabbed your attention. This man could have majestic doves flying around him he was just that perfect! I had to remember how to breathe as I regained my composer. The fine-looking man walked over to me and extended his hand.
“I am Dr. Aspen, it’s very nice to meet you.” The man spoke with a deep sultry tone that I can only describe as getting close to the voice of Liam Neeson as you can get! I could feel my jaw drop to the floor. This man is my new doctor?! I practically scream in my mind as I weakly shake his hand.
“Just finish up those last few questions and we will get started! Sounds good?” He gives a charming smile before he turns to introduce himself to my mother. Wait… No not my mother! Anything but that! She is going to-
“Well hello there…” My mother responds with her best sultry voice as she extends her hand. “My name is Carolina Sturdivant.”
“My, what a lovely name for a lovely woman! Are you my patient’s sister?” He smiles and shakes her hand. My mother gives a high pitched squeak for a laugh and shakes her head in amusement. Kill me. Kill me now. This isn’t want I want!
“Just finish up those papers and meet me in my office, ok?” He turns and begins to walk away. I found myself tilting my head so I could get a better view of his sweet ass. He walks into a room a few doors down and I let out a low whistle. Some Doctor…
“Dibs.” My mother says beside me as she readjusts her bra and amps up her cleavage.
“What? No! You can’t be serious, that man is half your age!” I harshly whisper at her. “For once in your life just leave one guy alone.”
“I did leave one alone. I left the gay guy alone, now I can go after this one. Think of it as my reward. Now finish the paperwork!” Words can’t describe the rage that I am feeling right now. This stupid, stupid woman is seriously going to go after that? That handsome piece of perfection? Oh hell no. I am not allowing this. I finally finish the paperwork and walk back to the nice little man behind the counter.
“Here is the paperwork…” I trail off as I look around for the doctor again. The man chuckles and takes the paper.
“Thank you very much, young lady. He’s handsome, don’t you think?” He says with a smile as he makes copies of the medical forms.
“W-what?” I stutter as I look at him.
“The doctor! You find him attractive, right? I know you do, hun, everyone does.” He snaps his fingers in a sassy way. “I don’t know about the doctor, but I hope he doesn’t go after your mother over there, she just spells trouble!” He hands me the papers and points to another door. “Just walk into that door.” I stare at him for a few moments.
“I like you!” I say to him as I take the papers. “But don’t worry, I am not going after him, even though he is cute. I am not that kind of girl, I can be happy with just a laptop to be honest. I can just admire, right?”
“Oh honey you and me both.” The man chuckles
“Come on mom, let’s get this over with!” I begin walking to the room towards the room that was instructed to me.
“Wait! One more coat of lipstick!” She shuffles around her bag to find a suitable shade. I grab her arm and pull on her.
“Come on.” We manage to walk to the room where the doctor was sitting in a chair near the door. He was writing down something on piece of paper with his legs crossed at the ankles.
“Well hello again!” My mom chimes in beside me, her voice high pitched and rather annoying. The doctor looks up and smiles.
“I am glad you got that paper work done, ladies.” He gestures to a couch in front of him. “Won’t you sit down?” I plop down on the right side of the couch. Wow this is one comfy couch… I wish I could lay down. Just before I am about to get comfy, I look at my mom who elegantly sits down and crosses her legs. She straightens her back and gives the doctor her full attention. Ugh… showoff. I sit up and try my best to copy her posture.
“Now Lea, right? What would you say your issue is today? Why have you come to see me?” The doctor turns his full attention on me, and suddenly I get very nervous.
“Oh... uh… I am really tired… and my memory isn’t the best.” The doctor looks down and jots a few notes. I can feel my mother shift uncomfortably beside me. She is probably upset that he isn’t paying attention to her. As the doctor’s appointment continues, I keep talking to the doctor, trying to see what is ‘medically wrong with me’ as my mother likes to put it. Oh yeah, my mom kept trying to interrupt the conversation and bring the attention to her every chance she got. The best part by far was when she shifted her arms under her chest so she could make her cleavage more pronounced. It kinda worked I guess, because he did look, but he went back to asking me questions. It was amazing! For once in my life this handsome guy was putting all of his attention on me and not my mother! Maybe I was kinda pretty… Maybe I did have a chance! Maybe for once in my life I can surpass my mom.
“Alright I think I have all the info I need. I will review what I have gathered today and I’ll make sure to call you.” He puts away his pen and stands up.
“Here!” My mom jumps up. “Have this… it’s the quickest way to reach me” She hands him her cell phone number on a scrap of paper with a big heart on it.” Wow, this is like a strange middle school romance I walked into to.
The doctor stares at it for a few moments before looking up at her with a kind smile. “I am sorry ma’am, but I am not quite interested in that way. I am simply your daughter’s doctor, nothing more.” My mother takes a sharp breath in surprise at his rejection. He then turns to me and extends his hand. “Thank you young lady.”
“You’re welcome? What did I do?” I shake his hand and tilt my head in confusion.
“You are probably the first girl that hasn’t tried to hit on me since I’ve become a doctor.” He chuckles.
“Well I mean it’s no big deal! You’re not that pretty. Wait I mean you are handsome, very handsome! But not in a creepy way! I swear! I mean you could be a God in a suit! Wait what?” I trail off before I can make a bigger fool of myself. “Yeah no problem.” Smooth… he gives you a complement and then you f*** it up by calling him a God in a suit? Wow I need help.
“Thank you for your kind words.” He looks amused. My mom suddenly speaks up beside me.
“Forgive my behavior, you’re right.” She extends her hand for a shake. “I guess I got a little ahead of myself there. I am not exactly a young woman anymore.” He shakes her hand.
“You are a very attractive woman, especially for your age, you take very good care of yourself. I am just afraid that I don’t bat for your team.” My mother’s eyes go wide and I gasp.
“No way!” I smile wide. “You’re gay?”
“Yes, yes I am.”
“Do you have anyone you’re dating? Anyone you like?” I probe him for answers.
“Well…” He looks out the door and over to the little man behind the counter, typing away at his computer. I smirk. Oh my god he has a thing for his assistant? That’s actually really cute…
“Go for it.” I give the doctor a big thumbs up.