The neon yellow tennis ball flew towards Kara’s head. The impact of the ball smacked into her face, her knees hit the ground, and she started to cry. Her sweaty palms released the racket, and she bolted for the gate.
“Really Melissa, did you have to do that? You know she’s been having a hard time,” said Lauren.
Melissa just gave a malicious grin and continued to rally with her partner. It was weird to think that not too long ago Kara and Melissa were best friends. Three months prior began the unfortunate decline of their friendship.It began when Kara broke up with her boyfriend of two years. Not long after, she cut off all communications with Melissa. Without notifying her friends then, Kara went to spend the summer with her grandmother in Mississippi. Melissa called Kara’s cell only to find out by her parents that she would be gone for the next three months. Melissa never got an explanation, could not let the matter go.
Meanwhile, back at the bathroom , a place where Kara spent most of her mornings in she stared at the mirror with two thin rivers of mascara streaked on her face. She splashed water on her eyes and began to weep again. “Why is this happening to me?” she murmured. After a few minutes she collected herself, shook off all her raging emotions and put on one of her famous fake smiles .As she timidly walked on the court , she was approached by Melissa.
“Oh my God!, did I do that” sarcastically said Melissa pointing at the throbbing lump on Kara’s head.
Kara has no response, she just stared rolling her eyes.
“It was a total accident, it won't happen again, I swear,” Melissa spoke with the tone of bullsh*t that Kara was now very familiar to.
“Don’t worry about it”, said Kara and forced a smile.






???

Entering Northridge High School in the middle of nowhere ,Utah used to feel safe for Kara. The rows and rows of cars in the huge front parking lot, the yellow and green school colors that covered the campus. School had always been a place for Kara where she felt welcomed she was always nice to everyone and people rarely had a problem with her. Even when she was going through tough times she would always look nice and had her pretty white smile on . Her pale blond hair as thin as paper sat gently on her shoulders her faded blue-gray eyes popped compared to her fair skin. Most days she wore a collection of things from vineyards vines, preppy and cute. No matter what was going on in her personal life, school was what she was good at. Straight A’s , top athlete , and even a great debater.
Two winters ago , is really when her life changed forever. Her older brother who she looked up to all her life, died tragically on a brisk December night. The roads were slippery and hail was coming down hard he spun out of control into a telephone pole the impact immediately killed him. You would have thought nothing had happened, the way she acted at school bubbly, head held high. People treated her delicately, saying their condolences, saying they would be there for her. No one truly was. At school everyone was kind, understanding, but at home it was like a totally different world. A lot for parents to outlive one of their kids , it takes a strain on the relationship. Everything between their parents changed. It was hard to be at home, too sad. Kara started spending a lot of time at her boyfriends house it was her only escape. To her he was the only person who had truly made her feel better.





???

Kara and her brother Anthony had always been a team.“Me and you against the world” Anthony used to tell Kara when they were young. They had always had the special bond of the family, they always had each others back since day one. Losing him was like losing a part of herself.Grades, Catty girls, Boys, Periods, and Family issues She told him everything , and anything. He would know what to do she thought. The only person in the world who knew Kara for who she really was, behind the fake smile. Before Anthony's accident, Kara’s relationship with her parents was broken by her rebellious behavior and stubborn attitude. Kara and her mother never saw eye to eye on anything. So Kara clung to Anthony the only family member she could relate to. The day she lost him was the hardest day of her life,full of fear, anger , and shock. How could he just leave her here with Mom and Dad, no help no anything all alone? Kara’s mother wasn't a positive person, in her eyes the glass was always half empty.If things did not go her way, you would know. Her Father put up a goofy front but under was fragile and highly protective, of himself and others. The mixture of the two was a lot to handle but add a horrific tragedy and things only worsened Sometimes tragic events bring families even closer, sometimes it builds a wedge between them. Kara’s family was no longer a unit now the death of Anthony shattered it. Never talked about what had happened to Anthony it.Whenever people would say their condolences a slight smile and a whimpering “Thank You” were exchanged , but at home, not a single word was spoken. It was too hard to talk about him, they thought discussing it with each other that would only make matters worse, so they stayed silent. Vague conversations, little interactions such as “How was your day” “Fine”. For the first month everyone was still in shock of what had happened. After that month of mourning the Sullivan family home was turned into a battle field.





???

After tennis Kara dragged her feet the entire way home, head still throbbing dreading to open the door like every night after her brother’s accident. It was quiet at her home; you would think that no one was there. There were two modes that her house could be in: one drop a pin silence two a screaming match. She walked into the kitchen as if one small move could cause an explosion. The aroma of Chinese takeout infused her nose, and it made her feel nausea. Her mother and father, sitting in their stiff work clothes fully absorbed in their mobile devices, had already eaten. Kara’s presence was completely unnoted by them as they kept texting, reading, and beeping away. Kara thought it for second maybe to just slip into her room, not say a word avoid all contact. Dodge a bullet. She felt it would be too rude, and as her therapist said, she should try rebuilding a relationship with her parents. So, bravely enough Kara started a conversation.
“Hey,”
“Oh Hi sweetie. How was your da- Did you wear that to school? Kara’s mom said cutting herself off.
“Uh yeah. Why?”
Dad was now paying attention ,waiting to get his two cents in.

“Oh, oh nothing. Well ,it’s just I have been noticing you are gaining weight. That’s a tiny dress, and you are a pretty big girl.”
As soon as those hurtful words stung against Kara’s skin, turning my face flush, in complete embarrassment. She knew the war was about to begin. Her Dad was preparing his weapons, always having something to add the contradic Mom. Being at home was like walking on thin ice , at one point or another you know it would break. This scene was all too familiar and happened at least twice a week, her broken family took the anger and frustration out on each other. Everything that Kara’s mother said Kara’s father would take as a personal attack. No Matter what it was somehow both parents seem to find something to disagree about. I was just the spark, the conversation would soon move off the topic of me , and on to something more important.
“This is our daughter you are talking to she doesn’t need this from you she probably get’s enough at school.” her father says.
“ Well, excuse me for trying to help my daughter.”
“You are not trying to at all! You just want everyone to be as sad as you are!”
“How dare you! Excuse me of such things?
The battle had started like many nights previously and tonight was no different , so Kara took cover. Every night it was different topic but it always ended the same way. Walking up the stairs slowly removing herself from the loud yelling, breaking objects, a tear or two. The only safe place from her battlefield home was her room. The baby blue walls contrasted well with her blank white sheets and big soft pillows. Before summer had started and she had left for her grandmother’s , Kara had stripped every medal, picture, and poster off her walls. The room was small but it was perfect for Kara, she keep her closet neat, and her brown desk organized properly. The room was more sophisticated than it had been in past years. It was time to grow up and the room represented that. The faint screams of her parents were still heard from the upstair corner room. The thought of a hot shower rushed her mind. As she laid out clothes to sleep in, she started to run the water. As she got undressed she felt more upset, she was physically and mentally exhausted of all the things running around in her head. She wanted out. While undressing she glared at the mirror examining her body as if it was foreign to her. As she stepped into the shower the hot water washed away the fake smile.She began to cry, it was nice because in the shower it was hard to separate the tears from water. The sound of the steaming hot water hitting her back was relieving to her. The water drops bounced lightly off her expanding stomach. As she washed her body, she cupped her bulging stomach in disappointment. In the shower Kara could drown out the many thoughts that circled in her head. She no longer thought of her parents, Melissa, or Anthony. She didn’t even think about her unborn baby.