Walking through the doors that lead me to God’s acre, forcing me to grasp tears in my hand as I stare at the cold stone below my feet. Inscripted is Reed Stamer, my brother. That night came flashing back to me. Mocking me, I did it… I did it.

7 years ago, when I was 5, Reed was 3. Reed was alive.

Like every afternoon, we were in the dining room playing whatever suited our fancy. Firefighters, superheroes, house, animal farm,whatever. Cops was what we decided to play that day. We took turns being the bad guy and the good guy, the criminal and the cop. The criminal tried to take a banana from the table and the cop had to stop them, harmless play. The criminal had a little ziplock bag to put the “money” into and a mask to put onto their face. We put the mask on because that’s what they do in the TV shows, Right? Then the cop catches them , reveals their identity, and takes them to jail, harmless play. Right?

Not right.

You see, Reed just caught me, right before i was able to feed the banana to my dog, Woulf, so it was my turn to be cop. I gave him the black cotton mask our dad let us borrow for games like this, and ran into the kitchen to grab my glass of grape juice from the fridge, a harmless thing to do,right? Wrong again. I still don’t drink grape juice.

I rummaged in the fridge, trying to find my dark red cup that Reed got me for Christmas. I found it caked in between my momma’s meatloaf she had made the other hour, and my dad’s steak stash he keeps for “rainy days”. Once I released it from the fridge’s grasp I, of course, drink some juice until my thirst is quenched and wedge it back into the fridge. Harmless, right?

Happy as can be, I skip into the kitchen, not knowing that I would be mere seconds from witnessing Reed’s last seconds. I see Reed, his mask on and banana bag in his hand. In his other hand,some old metal that was all dented. I didnt know what he was holding, so I asked him.

“Whatcha got there Reed?” He moved to show me what he had, smiling like he just caught a worm. God he lived worms.

“A squirt gun! I found it under daddy’s bedroom pillow!” He points the squirt gun at me, “Put your hands up Copper!”

I told him that it was supposed to be the other way around, the bad guy doesn't have a gun, the good guy does.Harmless information right?

Wrong. I should've kept my mouth shut.


“oh, haha I guess I’m both then! What does the cop do with the squirt gun?”


I shouldn’t of answered.


I told him the truth. The cop shoots the bad guy with the squirt gun if he doesn't stop.

So he ran.

He was laughing and giggling,I was too. I should've stopped him. It’s all my fault, I should've just grabbed him and hugged him whispering into his ear to stop. To calm down. But I didn’t.

“Bad guy isn’t stopping! Cop, take him down!” He kept laughing, and so did I. I had the funniest little brother didn’t I?

Then he pulled the trigger. Life slowed down, no. My life slowed down. Reed’s stopped.

harmless? Nope, nothing is harmless.