I crouched outside of the room, watching and listening to my own funeral. They thought I had died. I snickered at that. I hadn't died; I had simply just run away. When I heard people talking about my funeral, I was surprised. But, hey. Who wouldn't want to go to their own funeral, right? I wanted to see what they would say about me, how they would react. As I sat there, peeking in every now and then, I listened to what they had to say. There was a video tribute, with pictures flashing on the screen while music played. Many people were crying. I felt a pang of guilt at seeing their tears. Then people started talking, and I listened as closely as I could. I looked in and saw that my mom and dad were standing in front of the large poster board with pictures of me all over it. They were talking to each other, about me.

"It'll be okay," My dad said "Maybe it was just her time. She'll be missed, of course, but she would want us to be strong." I thought about this and nodded to myself. If I really wasn't around anymore, I wouldn’t want them to grieve too much. I would want them to move on with their lives. I continued to listen and watch. The funeral service was over, now it was just friends and family eating and talking. Mostly about me.

I looked inside the room again and saw my best friend, Kaylee, standing with her father. I suddenly felt a big rush of sadness, like an emotional slap in the face. I couldn’t believe I had forgotten. Kaylee had been my best friend for years. Seeing the tears on her face and her sad black funeral dress made me start to reconsider my choice of running away. Or maybe I could talk to her privately, convince her to come with me. I had plenty of food and money. We could make it…. No, I told myself. I can’t ask her to leave. I wouldn’t want two families grieving. Plus, they would probably get suspicious. A girl disappearing, claimed to be dead, and only a short amount of time later, her best friend disappears. No, that wouldn’t work. But… I couldn’t just leave her alone, could I?

I can’t leave anyone here alone, I thought. I didn’t think I meant anything to anyone, but seeing them cry and mourn for the loss of me, I realized these people must care for me. If they didn’t, none of them would’ve shown up… Right? I took a deep breath and stood up slowly. A thousand thoughts rushed through my head. This moment was going to change everything. I could leave right then, leave it all behind and never come back. I could even ask Kaylee to come with me, despite the reasons I shouldn’t. I shook my head. I need to go in there, I thought. I needed to stay. I took another deep breath and turned towards the door. I stood and stared for a moment, thinking over my decision.
My mind was made up. I put one foot in front of the other, and walked into the room where so many people were crying for their loss that hadn’t actually happened. For a second no one noticed me there. They were too busy breathing in the scent of the roses and funeral foods. Then Kaylee’s eyes went wide. She looked like she had seen a ghost. Which, I guess she probably thought she was seeing a ghost. My ghost. But she stared for a moment. I smiled and waved awkwardly. Other people started to look, whispering things like:
“I thought she was dead!”
“What’s going on?!”
“Maybe it’s her spirit, coming to comfort us”
And
“Oh my… she’s alive!”
I stood there for a second, not knowing what to say or do. Then Kaylee run up to me and practically threw her arms around me, crushing me with the powerful hug. I laughed and hugged her back.
“Relax,” I said. “I’m fine.” She pulled away, smiling, and looked me in the eyes. I realized how badly I had hurt her, and everyone else in the room, and I never wanted to leave again. This was my family. What had I been thinking? This was where I belonged.