“Currently I have been looking at mankind sort of like a tree, you begin so nurtured and content with life but then wither away with age and sickness. Trees flow as people do, they typically stay with their crowd, they flourish precisely where they are told to and at all times they are expected to look identical, but we all result differently with disparate branches, leaves, and textures. I as a person am not quite sure why in our society difference is intolerable although it is primarily what surrounds us, I don’t understand why it is objectionable.”
I stagger down my home’s staircase, my heart drubbing and trouncing steadily with rhythm as my nose picks up a strong coffee aroma in the breeze that is creeping towards me. As I reach the bottom of the staircase, nauseating cigarette redolence catches me off guard, causing a lump in my throat. For as long as I am able to remember, I have sought after the courage to attempt smoking but I could never stomach the thought of it long enough to truly try. The thought of eliminating five minutes from your life each time you place a cigarette around your lips and breathe in, captivates me and although it seems unbelievable, it’s utterly accurate. The caffeine enhanced stench leads me to the kitchen. I peer around the door way to get a glimpse inside; in an attempt to locate my mother inside the room, I fortuitously don’t see her so I creep in. She is nowhere in sight as I enter the room and if I had to take an educated guess, I would presume she was out taking care of her daily errands because she has not anything better to do since she does not have a job and in all reality she would be in the classification of an absolute underdog. I may not be Nobel peace prize winning by the time I leave this earth, but hey the least I would do is have a decent job, at least flip a few burgers here and throw a few papers there, how challenging could that actually be? It doesn’t seem complex to me. That’s one thing I will continuously guarantee, I will at no time become my mother. I hurriedly pace myself back upstairs to my bedroom, and fondle through my drawers in an attempt to salvage together a halfway decent looking outfit. Salmon colored button up and floral pattern pants? Who cares, good enough for me, I throw the clothes on and tie my hair in a bun without a care in the world as I scurry to the bus stop in the pouring rain. I wait around for a short period of time and the bus comes around the corner and squeals to a standstill, and as expected the doors come flying open and I step onto the short flight of stairs and make my way up them cautiously. I am rambling through the isle when a familiar person hooks my eye, so I take a seat next to him and he glances over at me then turns his IPod off, I swear it was the most intense three seconds of my entire life. I hold my breath because I can tell his mouth is about to open, “I’m Dexter.” He mumbles. “And I’m Delilah.” I reply with my hand out openly, expectant of a handshake. “I know who you are.” He says back to me as I melt while my hand falls. I cannot help but to wonder what he could mean by he knows who I am, was that an insult or a delightful compliment? What could be spinning through his mind right now? He gives me a once over, and comments “Radical pants, you look like my grandmother’s couch.” “Well, she must be a tasteful lady.” I barely say as he interrupts me. “We should get to know one another.” I nod my head up and down without hesitation while the remarkable singular dimple in my cheek appears. Family used to tell me my face was the moon and my dimple was a crater, which was of course said when I was younger. “Totally, I would actually enjoy that.” The words slip right through my lips. He has been my neighbor since the time I was brought home from the hospital, he has been the boy I have always been terrified to speak with, but now he is a potential friend. The bus wheels continue rolling and I consider to myself these kinds of situations only happen in old cinemas, not in real life and especially not to me. A unique and original boy would never in his lifetime consider paying close attention to me so I rub my eyes to wake myself but when my hands return to my lap, it’s still just him and me on a school bus and everything seems illusory. I can unquestionably tell he’s into me as much as I am just by the way he gazes at me and smirks, I have never witnessed a teenage boy so shaken up, nervous, and panicky, it is entirely delightful and at the same time it makes me feel insanely authoritative that my charm can basically control someone. “You do realize you are quite stunning, right? As a matter of fact you are dazzling, breath taking actually.” Oh lord how the butterflies flutter inside of me. “That is awfully saccharine of you to say to me bearing in mind this is only our first encounter.” “You’re welcome.” He declares with a secure poseur. “At least it’s assuring I haven’t mastered the art of ample invisibility yet.” He laughs uproariously and although I wasn’t trying to be amusing, I’m blissful he laughed at something that came out of my mouth. “I’ve noticed you multiple times before, we’ve only lived across the street from one another for our entire lives, it would be nearly impossible not to notice someone like you. Hell, I practically have a front row view into your bedroom window though I don’t pay consideration to you that closely.” I play along with him. “It’s a good thing I typically get dressed in the bathroom then, huh?” He breaks in proceedings and a grave look launders over his face. “I assuredly didn’t mean it like that at all.” Perhaps he isn’t the best with words, but as long as his words are directed towards me, I’ll think it will suffice. I believe meeting him wasn’t by chance or even just luck of the draw on a typical Monday morning, it has to mean something, and it has to be fate. Today’s weather is mucky and quite sickening I notice as the bus comes to a screeching cessation, I reach down to collect my belongings and my hand grazes over Dexter’s crotch area inadvertently. I apologize but the look he gives me deems no apology was necessary. I feel mortified but shockingly I relish the way he reacted. Every last one of the undergraduates exit the bus and as I pace off a thought crosses my mind and I express it aloud. “It’s time to face the day I suppose.” “You must not adore school?” “Name somebody who does.” I laugh as he remains silent for a few seconds. “Follow me then.” He suggests, and I follow him as if I were a lost puppy. A pathway to the woods comes into view; our school’s nature trail was scarcely used apart from youngsters who are playing hooky passing through. As we walk through the woods, we come across a stream that is primarily shallow and Dexter decides to make his way across, hobbling from stone to stone, barely remaining leveled. He reaches his arm out to me and tries convincing me I can make it over as easily as he did although I’m certain I will not be able to. A demanding voice in my head screams no but instinct subsides when I jump across a rock as judiciously as I estimate is conceivable but I evidently wasn’t cautious enough because my foot slips out from under me and I descent into the subzero water. Bitter water hits me and Dexter doesn’t bother helping me at all, my frigid hypothermic bound body makes its way halfway out of the brook when I look up to him and fuss “You knew I wouldn’t make it across, you knew.” As I lay on my back, I can feel his presence coming closer, “Here, let me warm you up Delilah.” I assume I am being given a thoughtful gesticulation, I assume I’m being given what I am searching for. His muscular body held my arms back as he took off my drenched clothing while I lay stiff as a board on the creek’s side as he took advantage of me and my innocence. It was unexpected, but it happened and there’s no changing that it did. Every ounce of me wanted to push him off, but how could I when I only wanted to please one of the few people who have ever displayed attentiveness in me? Perhaps I deserved this; possibly I deserved to sense this emptiness inside of myself. I cannot feel who I am any longer, on the inside I am a rambling question mark because I question my inward actuality. He backs away and glances down at my body while I lay there taciturn, insipid, and wounded. “Felt a hell of a lot better than it looks.” I have the impulse to run from him, but I also contain no bravery so I continue put down in terror with the hope he cannot sense my fear. I shouldn’t be the needy and impulsive girl who cries for help so I remain in silence, nobody would hear me nevertheless. He demands for me to clean myself off, but dousing myself in bleach couldn’t assist in me feeling unsoiled enough for I feel grimy and squat to the point of no coming back. What kind of human being commits an act so erroneous, so insensitive, and so discourteous? Questions overflow my brain, and I envision answers but stillness is the lone response I obtain in return. I shouldn’t have put myself in this situation to initiate with but I refuse to put liability on my own self so I screech at him “I trusted you.” as anger flourished throughout me. His hand came across my face and took my dignity and self-assurance with him as his hand returned to his side, I no longer am an individual; I have become a powerless piece of nonentity. He has authority over me and he’s aware of the supremacy he possesses so he teases as I weep face down in the stony earth. I collect my waterlogged attire out of the filth and dress myself, then begin scurrying away as swiftly as I envision probable, he doesn’t bother chasing after me so he must be assured in letting me free since he knows I won’t state to anyone what happed today, what could this be?