Today was a day I dreaded most than any other day of the year. A new age that marks a child’s awaiting occupation. Today was the start of a new beginning in my life, a new chapter so to say. However this day was not one greeted to me whole heartedly. Every day as this one for the past several years after elementary school has scared my well being. Today was the start of a year of mistreated friendships and ominous new beings ravaging my mental being. The first day of high school was upon me. I do know this year for me is going to be one that I will whole heartedly regret attempting for it has occurred to plenty of times in the past. Ever since the start of middle school my friends have became more distant as I’ve become more socially awkward. Any attempt that I took in making a new “friend” was regrettably one that made me look foolish amongst my peers. Although a couple of friends have stood by me in the past, but I fear my relationship with them is ever so dwindling as my high school year progresses. By the time I graduate I will not care for anyone else besides those two who have stood by me. They stood by me at times of distress, panic, and social anxiety. They do as much as they can to ensure my safety among the devious culture of miscreants upon the battlegrounds of the high school plain. Although once graduation is among us I only wish that our social link will remain strong. Oh, I’ve forgotten to mention my name. My name, Caelum Brown, this is the first day of venturing out into the unperceived world.

The morning mists penetrated the open window of my room. Not only was the feeling frigid, but my awakening to this was less then pleasurable. I’ve known for a long time that once the morning drowsiness kicks in that my immediate instinct was to fall back down and rest a peaceful slumber. This however was not the case, for today was the day of inquisition, the high school inquisition to be exact. I was not eager to face such torment, but I had to for a vigilant being much stronger than I would overpower me. Awaken me from my somber sleep and yell the words that enact pain to ones physical well being as if being hit several times by a metal baseball bat. The figure, that vigilant figure that would awaken me was known as “Mom”. Mom would often sneak into my bedroom to ensure my sleepy nature was broken from. The words that pierced me ever so much was spoken out, not peacefully, but an order as if a general were to enact these words to his new recruits.
“Wake up! It’s time for school. No dilly dallying now it’s time for school!” Mom commanded towards me.
“Yeah, yeah. I heard ya already. I’ll get up. Just make me a quick breakfast will ya. I’m not looking forward to this day. But, you‘re are my ever so gracious mother. Thank you for waking me up!” I said with a cringe upon my face.
‘Well, someone seems to be cranky today. I don’t understand why you don’t enjoy this new chapter in your life. I enjoyed my high school life to the fullest. I did so many things. I was in leadership, in charge of the school council, as well as being a well known debate captain. I, Rita Brown was the essence of Fullburrow High School back in 1998. Remember you make the most at of high school my darling. Please do remember that. Oh yeah! That reminds me it’s time to wake up your sister!” Mom scurried out of the room as she dictated her spiel and headed towards the room diagonal from mines.
I can’t say my mom is wrong in telling me that high school is what I make it to be, but she was born popular back in her day. I remember looking through her old yearbooks and it displayed a beautiful young woman. She had luscious brown hair, her eyes sparkled as if touched by God, and her smile peaked interest and mystery in me. It was also a fact that she was the idol of every boy at her high school, I remember that she told me that boys lined up against her locker just to give her flowers and write magnificent poetry to her. However, she ended up rejecting a lot of boys. Until one day, one boy did something more extravagant than any other boy would do. This boy sang to her, from I Will Always Love you by Whitney Houston to Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On. This boy got the attention of my mother and ultimately married her. This boy who has now become a man was David Brown. Mr. Brown, my father was a role a model I looked up to until the end of elementary. After grade school, during middle school I was on my own. My father has become to occupied with his job that he can only see my mother, sister, and I for only one month every year. For that one month he was here I did everything I can to conceal my hurt nature during middle school, for I did not want to show him with displeasure within my face. So my false face had become quite frequent with him. A fake smile that looked innocent, and joyous face shrouded by a corrupt mind, and touch that felt warm, but when alone has become cold and lifeless. I never went to see sadness in my kin, so my false persona at home has become my face towards my false friends as well.

After my brief reflection of my parent’s success in high school I walked up to the restroom to take my shower. The squeak of the knob when turned in order to fuel the rushing water felt agonizing. The water felt no better, even though warm I still felt cold. The steam only reminded me that my shell can be broken into, that once shattered I have nothing left, but a stream of unbearable sadness heavily dripping down my face. That feeling reminded me that this was all for the sake of pursuing a happy family life. Was I lying to myself? I couldn’t tell, but the feeling I would endure felt strangely eerie. This eerie feeling felt okay though, I felt secured. After finishing with my shower I dried up and got dressed. I looked at myself in the mirror. My silky brown hair was unkempt, no comb was in sight but, I felt no need to comb it. For social appearance to me was, but a way to demean a child in a negative way. So, for the past few years I tried numbing the feeling of being socially accepted by the beasts in high school. As I exited the restroom my sister, roughly the same age as me (14) bumped into me.

“Watch where you’re going fool, can’t you see your much popular sister is trying to prep for her high school debut. I can clearly see you’re not going to do a “good look” as if anything looked good on you! Hahaha! Well cya nerd!” My sister barked at me.
She always did when we ran into each other. She didn’t hate my existence entirely, but I know she was disappointed in an older brother as me. She wanted a tough older brother who would stand behind her whenever she wanted. However my image was docile, pushover, and self misery, although I did keep one personality she did like to an extent, it was my standing behind her in times of need. This phenomenon cannot be explained by me entirely as I go into a different persona when in this unique phase. I do not retain the memories of the experience, but what crowds have told is that I won. I won….
I slowly walked down the stairs, I felt heavy, the world was on my shoulder as it was with Atlas. No matter, I shrugged this feeling off in a matter of moments as soon as smelled the food cooked by my mother. The table layered with fluffy pancakes, perfectly crisp bacon, sausage links browned lightly while retaining it juicy insides, and a tall glass of orange juice. My mother’s cooking washed away the terrors of the morning. I felt no anxiety with her around, her cooking lessoned the pain I would feel once I left my safe domain. I sat down at my usual spot at the table always to the left angled perpendicular to my mom. My first bites of breakfast were to be savored. The feeling of a light pancake with the crunch of the bacon strip was euphoric. My mouth was watering due to how well prepared my first meal of the new school year felt. I know I won’t get this feeling for another year so it was best to savor the moment. The last sausage link hit my mouth and as soon as that occurred the doorbell rang three times. Ring! Ring! Ring! I knew who was at the door, my two most trusted friends, Remy and Ray. Remy, who was Rays older brother, was much taller than I (5’8), he also had a unique feature to him one eye brown the other green and his hair was a deep coat of black which was spiked up. Ray, on the other hand who was Remy’s younger brother, had a different unique characteristic to him. Ray was often the maker of deep friendships. He sparked new friendships into others lives fast, I can’t say that Remy was much different. Ray had black hair as Remy, but was much light he was about 5’7 close to his brothers and had two brown eyes. In the case of making friends Remy was good at it, I know he can make a lot, but he sacrifices that just to hand out with me. So I don’t get the feeling of loneliness on top of the social anxiety I tend to feel without either of them. Both of them are truly the best of friends to me. They know me better than anyone else that has tried to understand my thinking process.
They were at my house to get a head start to school.
“Sup Caelum.” Said Remy
“Him hi Remy! Hi, hi Ray!” I said aloud gleefully.
“Hey Caelum, you excited about this new school year as much as I am! I can’t wait to see what is in store for us once we reach Westfield High school! I hope we get to catch up with our old friends and make new ones!” Ray exclaimed with joy, as his mature stature changed into one that of a child uncontrollable when having their first bite of chocolate.
“So, Remy anything new you have planned for high school?” I asked
“Well, I was thinking of trying out for basketball. If I do say so myself I’m quite talented wouldn’t ya say. He said with such confidence.
“You are pretty good, I know I can’t match up with your skills. I’m have the up most confidence in your abilities and do hope you will make the team!” I replied back as I showed my approval with a thumb up.

“Uhh, guys lets head out already, I’m way too excited to start me high school life. Let’s get a move on guys! It’s time to head to school!”Ray exclaimed with such energy as if winning a competition.

We ventured out into the morning mists. Whatever approaches us is unknown. I’m scared, but I have the two most trusted people in the world besides me. Maybe this year won’t be so bad. Maybe it’s a new start in my life! Maybe I won’t have to use my false shell at school. Oh was I ever so wrong. This was my first mistake in high school. If your expectations are set way to high, then you’re ultimately going to meet the same faith when they fall. My first mistake didn’t even begin at school. Venturing out into the morning mists was. I regret taking my first steps into the abyss. It’s waiting for me. The unknown…