She tilts her head towards the heavens. The sky shines with a million blinking lights. The cold, crisp air brushes her open palms, and the night seems endless, filled with possibilities. Her heart swells with joy at the prospect if flying free, free as bird. But as quickly as her sanguinity flourishes, it disappears. Slowly, as stealthily as a tiger she can feel something creeping its way into her skin, something clawing its way into her heart. Her smile fades, and the air, once cool and reassuring brings her chills. Her head aches with the pressure of an unresolved argument, and she cannot shake the feeling she has done something wrong. As she gazes inside, to the light illuminating the front window, she sees her mother, head down, staring blankly at the wall in front of her. Her strength dissolves. Biting her lip, she drags herself up the front porch and quietly let herself in. Immediately, she see something in my mother’s eyes change, reminiscent of a vulnerable child, wavering and afraid. Her chest tightens, and she pulls out a chair, its scraping against the floor loudly echoing.
“Mom,” she says softly. Her mother’s eyes focus on the ground. “I’m sorry, I really am.” When her mother answers, her voice is like that of a wounded animal. “You have disappointed me.” The girl feels tears prick the edges of her lids. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “I didn’t mean to, I really didn’t. I’ve tried being everything you want. I’ve tried listening to you. I just can’t follow every word you say. I’m grown up now.” Her mother’s eyes finally meet hers. They look melancholy, worn and weighed down from all the years. “Child, I understand. I was young once too. But please, I have many things to do. When I was young, I worked studiously, never distracted. All ask is the same of you. And you have made it so difficult.”
The young girl presses her lips together. It is all she can do to keep from bursting in to tears. “I can’t promise I will be you. I could never be you. But what I can tell you is that I will try.” Her mother’s eyes seem to glow. “Child, that is all I ask. Please just promise me you will try.” She look up at my mother eyes full of hope, and gives in. “I promise.” Silently, she leaves the table, pushing in her chair. This time, it does not seem to echo as loudly. When she walks outside into the night, the air is cool and refreshing again. She look up at the night sky, and sees the stars shining brilliantly, and for the first time in a while, she feels hope.