War Girl | Teen Ink

War Girl

July 4, 2013
By Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York, New York
Laugh-it-Out PLATINUM, Brooklyn, New York, New York
38 articles 0 photos 445 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light" --Dylan Thomas

There once was a girl

Who lived in a house similar to mine

With a rusted fence and concrete steps that led up to a double wide front door.

Both houses had the same plot of craggy grass and a mangled tree sat center in the middle.

But though this other house, the one that was not mine, appeared to be the same, you open the door and see a whole new world, different from my own.

So one Monday, I sat her down, the wooden chair beside my desk creaking, and asked her about the bruises on her face.

"Why miss", she said "I tripped down our concrete steps".

And I believed her. Because just the other day, my son fell and ripped his lip and busted his jaw.

And so she resumed her classes.

Then came Tuesday.

Again she ended up in my office, where I asked why she had two scraped knees and a permanent frown.

"Why miss", she said "my soccer game was mighty hard and rough".

And then her frown turned upside down and so I believed her, for my daughter had been sent sprawling at her last soccer match.

And so she went home.

On a bright, chilly Wednesday, I found her trotting into my office yet again. And so I asked why her lips were red and swollen with cuts along the edges.

"Why miss", she said "I just got braces".

And so I believed her, for when I was a child of her age, my braces scarred me as well.

And so she resumed her classes.

Then Thursday came.

I had already grown accustomed to the jangle above the door as she hobbled in. So I sat her down, the chair moaning, and asked why her hands were cut and bleeding.

"Why miss", she said "we did arts and crafts in class".

And so I believed her, for my husband lacked any skills with scissors also.

And so she left my office for the last time.

And Friday came and passed and so did the ever present weekend. And I sled with my children in the great park across our street and ate with my husband, all the while expecting to see the girl.

But Monday came.

The door never jingled.

The chair didn't groan.

Nothing happened for weeks until I got the invitation to her funeral.

There once was a girl

Who lived in a house similar to mine

With a rusted fence and concrete steps that led up to a double wide front door.

Both houses had the same plot of craggy grass and a mangled tree sat center in the middle.

But though this other house, the one that was not mine, appeared to be the same, a war was being waged on the inside.
And like every war.
There has to be some casualties.

The author's comments:
This is a story about a girl who is being domestically abused and refused to get help. I have never met anyone who has had this happen to them (well, no one i know of) but i encourage everyone to help. Even though this is an extreme version, these things to happen. Keep rockin and writing everyone

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This article has 9 comments.

on Mar. 5 2014 at 10:22 am
BurrThistle GOLD, Jaipur, Other
10 articles 0 photos 161 comments

Favorite Quote:
Write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect

I loved how you wrote this poem from the view of the teacher. I feel it gives a deeper meaning to it. I really, truly loved this poem. I especially love how you drew comparisons between the two hoses, saying the things are never whet they appear to be. Just....amazing 

on Sep. 18 2013 at 11:50 am
AnInkling SILVER, Castle Rock, Colorado
6 articles 0 photos 110 comments

Favorite Quote:
“This is your life. Is it everything you dreamed that it would be, when the world was younger and you had everything to lose?” Switchfoot
“Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth?” Galatians 4:16

I really liked the meaning of the poem, and you developed it beautifully through the eyes of her teacher. However, I am having trouble finding any rhythm in the poem, and I know that it is free style, but it is nice to be able to find a nice rhythm. So it is more like broken, emotional, descriptive  prose than a poem, if you get what I am saying. However, I really liked to poem so much that I have trouble even saying that something might not be right! I loved how you repeated parts of the begining of the poem at the end (it really gave it a lot more meaning) and the last lines are just chilling! Your poem is truely amazing!

on Aug. 31 2013 at 1:45 pm
WallFlowerAlice GOLD, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
16 articles 0 photos 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Why wait when you only live once? Go out there dance, smile, and enjoy yourself! If your not having fun then darling your doing something wrong!"
- Therese

"It was beautiful and depressing for me. It gave me a clear view of reality, well done,' said Alison

on Jul. 24 2013 at 8:36 pm
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

That was so beautifuly written that I got chills.  You are so talented! This is a really moving piece that makes people want to do something!

Trees BRONZE said...
on Jul. 23 2013 at 11:36 am
Trees BRONZE, Billings, Montana
3 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. How is that?

Absolutely beautiful!  The layout and flow of the story was greal.  5/5

on Jul. 12 2013 at 1:36 pm
LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
27 articles 0 photos 423 comments

Favorite Quote:
The more control you have over yourself, the less control others have over you.

Hey Livy-Loo, guess who? (: I feel like I haven't read your work in awhile or maybe I have and just never got around to commenting? Ugh, I don't know! Anyways, I really really like this story Liv! It's such a serious topic and sometimes it's hard to capture the seriousness of something while still being modest. Is that the right use of that? I think so. I know about domestic abuse as both of my grandparents went through it with previous husbands as well as my mom with a step-father. It's a rough thing for anyone to go through and I'm sure getting the courage to get help is difficult, which you conveyed here and sadly for the woman in the story it didn't end well. But, I enjoyed the repetition with the dialogue and as Mckay said I liked the justification rather than investigation. The ending was really well written. Great job, Liv!

Mckay ELITE said...
on Jul. 9 2013 at 2:29 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
—Apple’s “Think Different” commercial, 1997
“Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn't understood.”
― Weihui Zhou

You're a talented prose writer. I've told you that before. And I don't say that to warm you up. I like this story and the case you present. You once told me that with my poetry I showed concern for various present topics. And with this story you do that. Demonstrating domestic violence. Let's begin with the little cons, ok? Few typos here and there: main commas. Editing always takes care of that. I found a few so's and and so's. I know that makes me sound like some snob. But I think you want variety in prose. Too many and's adds redundancy to the work. That's my only thing. I love how you went from day to day with differenct situations. I though that was creative. And how the speaker would justify each case rather than investigating more on the situation. The last paragraphs were exceptional. This is a serious piece. And you ended it with the ending it deserves. Well done, Liv. 

Hanban12 ELITE said...
on Jul. 8 2013 at 7:32 pm
Hanban12 ELITE, Lake Worth, Florida
133 articles 7 photos 631 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them."
Henry David Thoreau

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, and then all at once."
John Green

OMG I am speechless after reading this with chills running down my spine. You capture the readers attention immediately with a bang and you end with a bang. The whole concept is brilliant and you left me thirsting for more. Congrats on this piece; I believe it shouldve gotten editors choice! You say so much without saying at all, and the denial on both sides is very realistic. The ending was a perfect close, for it summed everything up and tied in the title. What a phenomenal writer! :)

on Jul. 8 2013 at 6:52 pm
chronosun BRONZE, Movingsomewherenew, Illinois
3 articles 0 photos 22 comments
 Capturing the girl in the details (the knob, the chair, etc.) was a creative idea. I enjoyed the denial of abuse on both sides and the use of excuses to fool (on the girl's side) her friend and (on the friend's side) to fool herself.