I was fifteen years old when it happened. It was a nice hot day at Spring Valley High School, and everyone was wearing shorts and tank tops except me, I was fully covered like always. I was with my friends Bree and Angie they asked me “Why don’t you ever show some skin?” I didn’t respond but in my head I had a flashback of what I went through growing up.
I was ten years old and was…you know overweight. I wasn’t just an ordinary girl I was different. I was shy and was short with curly sandy hair, and big ocean blue eyes. I didn’t really have friends, just two their names were Angie and Bree. It was Monday afternoon I was walking home from school with Angie and Bree. They were both hungry so we stopped at Mc Donald’s to get a burger we took it to go and kept walking as we ate our meal.
On the way home we came across a group of girls I didn’t quite see their faces because they all had their backs turned. As we kept walking one of them yelled out “Fatass”. That voice sounded familiar, little did I know. I turned around and it was my sister trying to impress her friends. I can’t explain how shocked I was, how humiliated I felt I just couldn’t believe my own sister would embarrass me like that! I couldn’t even look at her so I ran home sobbing I was so mad, as I ran Angie and Bree shouted “Jaylah come back!” I ignored them.
Once I got home I went into my room and threw things around, I was furious. I saw a blade and looked at it. I didn’t even bother to hesitate and picked it up. Looking at myself in the mirror I pressed it against my stomach slicing through my flesh. I felt the ruby red blood running down my body. I could smell my raw blood. I kept cutting until I couldn’t take it anymore. My sister walked into my room and caught me of guard. Ariana had fear in her eyes, and starts screaming to the top of her lungs. “JAYLAH WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO YOURSELF!!!!!” “What do you think I’m doing I am cutting my fat ugly body that’s what you want me to do don’t you?” Ariana responded “of course not, I didn’t mean what I said”. I was filled with anger “then why did you embarrass me like that in front of your friends? Ariana had guilt in her, and responded “I don’t know. Ariana left immediately. Once she left I covered my mushy cuts with gauze.
The next morning I went to school, as I walked into my English class I heard someone yell “hey it’s fat Jaylah” the whole class burst into laughter. I felt my eyes water then I see Ariana laughing too as she told me “Aww your going to cry now?’’ before my teacher walked into class I quickly got out and went to the restroom. I took out my razor sharp blade and slowly with throe cut my arms I was crying so much. Suddenly I heard footsteps approaching the restroom this girl came in and stopped for a second and asked me “what’s wrong are you okay?” before I got out of the stall I put on a black soft sweater.
I responded “there is just mean people out there”
“what is your name?” the girl replied
“My name is Jaylah what’s yours?”
“My name is Jocelyn what do you mean there is mean people out there?” I could hear the worry in her voice.
“I get made fun of my weight a lot, I’m ugly”
Jocelyn responded “No your beautiful everybody comes in different shapes and sizes were all beautiful”
“thank you but my sister doesn’t think I am she makes fun of me in front of her friends.”
“that’s not very nice she shouldn’t even been doing that in the first place”
The bell rang before I got the chance to say bye she instantly left. It was next period I was afraid to go to class as I walked in I heard someone shout “where did fat Jaylah run off to!” again the class laughed I didn’t leave this time with fear I slowly walked to my seat. As soon as I sat down paperballs were being thrown at my head. Everybody was yelling “Fat Hog!” “whale!” I couldn’t take it anymore I was dyeing inside. I was anxiously waiting for the bell so I could go home. The bell finally rang and I rapidly stormed out the door. Walking down the halls of torture I was getting stone like stuff thrown at me Jocelyn was standing in corner but didn’t try to stop those kids from bullying me. I told my parents what has been happening in school they made me move schools. I was relieved that I was getting out of that horrible nightmare that just wouldn’t end, Angie and Bree also decided to move schools so they could be closer to me. 5 years passed the taunting finally stopped 5 years passed I’m fifteen years old, my sister still makes fun of me and I still cut myself to relieve my stress.
Zoning out thinking of the flashback….Angie and Bree are waving their hands in my face like maniacs trying to get my attention “Jaylah….. Hellooooo!”
“I’m sorry what were you girls saying?” I responded
“we were asking you why you don’t ever show your skin?” Angie asked
“oh umm…well there’s this thing”
“what do you mean?” Bree asked
Angie changed the subject and asked us “do you girls want to go to the beach? It’s nice outside we should take advantage and go right after school”
“we should” Bree answered ‘’how about you Jaylah you want to come?”
“Yeah I guess”
Angie suggested that we all wear bikini’s but in my head I was saying “I should tell them what’s been going on” so I agreed to go with them I texted Jocelyn and Ariana to come so they could also know what’s been going on. I went home and got out my bikini that has been laying in my Draur for 5 years never touched, never picked up… nothing. As I put on my Magenta bikini I was questioning if I should really do this what if they think I’m crazy? What if they stop talking to me? But I have to do it I have to tell them I can’t keep it a secret forever. They were going to find out sooner or later. I put on a towel big enough to cover my whole body so they won’t see my ugly scars. I arrived to the beach Angie ,Bree ,Jocelyn and Ariana were waiting for me as I got there Jocelyn hugged me and said “oh my god how are you? I haven’t seen you in the longest time lets go in the water!”
“before we in the water I have to show you girls something”
“okay sure” they all responded Nervously and slowly I removed my big towel revealing my bumpy scars that have been hiding under my clothes for years all I heard were gasps, there was silence I could feel a stream of tears rolling down my face. “I’m sorry” Ariana responded “sorry that my friends and I bullied you all these years I didn’t think it would get this bad!” Jocelyn also responded
“oh my god I’m really sorry I didn’t stand up for you.”
Angie and Bree also responded “how come you never told us?”
“umm I didn’t want you girls to stop talking to me it took me so much courage and I was brave enough to show you what I have been going through for the past five years. Every day is a battle I’m fighting Every day. I promise I won’t cut myself anymore.” It felt like a weight just lifted off my shoulders they told me I was beautiful. I’m Jaylah Cortez and this is the story behind my hidden scars…..
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