Who is Jane Blogavich?

It was June, 23rd, 2001 which only meant one amazing thing to me. It was finally my first day as Intern at St. Joseph Hospital of Orange. I got up as fast as I could and began to do my hair and my makeup I wore casual clothing due to the fact I would be wearing scrubs all day. I walked downstairs to find my mother Grace as usual on her phone making business meetings and complaining about everything to her assistant Tracy. I always tried to avoid my mother she was one of the best fashion designers around the world amazing right... I never liked fashion much although I always seemed to have the best style sense in my previous school. I got a quick muffin and a cup of coffee and was on my way to the hospital than suddenly my mother stops to notify me I will be attending FIDM. “What the hell” I responded “I am 23 years old for you to be telling me what to do.”She clearly didn't care how I felt she just wanted me to take on her business like I was destined to. “You will do as I say or you will not receive a dime from me or my mother’s will.” my mother yelled all I could think is how in the world would I got to my dream internship or how I would pay. All I could say was OK and that I would start next week she agreed to it and she went on with her day like always as I sat on my bed and missed my first day at my internship.

I’m not your average rich bitchy teenager from the Upper East Side. I am definitely the contrary I was always the simple one in my family and never spent much money. I mean I could have anything I wanted but really all I wanted was for my mother to act like I exist ever since my dad died she became distant from and closer to my brother. Until I died at 23 years old at a party I should have never went to. I see my mother suffer more than anyone she wished she would have spent more time with me so she could tell me how much she loves me and how sorry she is that she wasn't their enough to protect me. But enough of that as I was laying on my bed I decided to talk to my grandma Lulu about this situation she tried to convince my mother not to force this upon me if I didn't want to. I mean she didn't even ask me why I was gone for hours every day. Finally Lulu came back to tell me that my mother is forcing me to go to FIDM leaving me no option but to take on both Careers. You may think I am crazy or maybe even stupid but that’s because you don’t understand the love I have for my medical profession and the love I have for my mother. Lulu and I thought of ways to make this work so we decided I would take morning classes for about 3 hours than, go to my internship. I thought I wasn't going to be able to make it but my nana always knew how to give me a cheerful speech which I always fell for especially when she would say “My beautiful girl you are able to achieve two careers and more if you wanted to just remember you are one in a million no one can stop you.”
The next morning came and I got ready as usual went down to breakfast to see an empty kitchen I got into my car and went on my way to the hospital. As I got there I had changed into my scrubs and the “Nazi “we called her that because she seemed heartless and was always dictating us which is understandable something about her was just so scary and intimidating. We got our patients and to my amazing surprise I had seen some of my former friends that I went to college with their Shawn, Kristina & Beth without them I would be probably eat alone at the lunch table. Beth was the hardcore one she always on top of her stuff she knew everything about everyone as well as medical she was perfect I hated her for that ha-ha. Then there was Shawn he was such a cluts omg!. He was called 007 due to the fact he almost killed someone in surgery yesterday poor guy I always thought he was like Bambi to me but I loved him for that. At last there was Kristina her mother was famous and one of the best surgeons before she died everyone always wanted Kristina to live up to her mother’s expectations but she just couldn't if anything Beth was the one who seemed to resemble Kristina’s mother she was good but not a God. I got partnered with Shawn no surprise there I thought to myself. We both went into check on our patient and amazingly enough we had to prep her for open heart surgery this meant I Jane Blogavich would touch a heart and do surgery for the first time on real person! I was excited words can’t explain how I felt I wanted to smile but due to the respect I had to show the patient I was calm and told her everything would be OK we prepared her for the O.R. and got her to surgery. As I got scrubbed in with Shawn walking into the O.R. It felt as if my surroundings disappeared I mean I really needed a huge cup of coffee but that moment I knew I was meant for this and so we began.

My life at FIDM was very different from my 18 hour shift at the Hospital. When waking up from my daily naps I get up change into one of my best outfits as I usually packed my healthy snack and got in my car to leave. I took a drawing and some computer class I really didn't care about I mean I wasn't selfish I knew some girls would kill to be in my place but being so miserable with my classes made me realize I needed to try to see the optimistic side of it. I tried for about three months every day until I came to a realization I was good at it but I didn't love it. In a way handling both careers made me feel invincible as if I could handle anything Loll as in laugh out loud if you didn't know. I was wrongly mistaken... 6 months into both schools my FIDM work was pilling on since I focused more on my internship which left barely anytime to study. I had to find a way to handle things finals at FIDM where right around the corner and my exam at the Hospital was also the same day I was going crazy! I asked my friend Ron for help he was a guy I met in the cafeteria of FIDM as I was getting a fruit parfait and I turned around totally spilt it on him. How embarrassing but Ron was a sweetheart he was handsome in a weird way kind of like a mixture of Edward Cullen and this one guy off the Vampire Diaries. Anyways I totally had a crush on him but to my surprise every girl at school did too only made it harder for him to notice me as anything else but a friend. I always got a weird vibe from Ron as if he was some darkness which I totally ignored since he was super hot.


Finals were here... I was over stacked and stressed as hell I had been studying with my friends at the hospital and my only friend Ron at FIDM since I was a bit of an outcast since everyone thought I had it easy and got special care since my mother was one of the top designer or how they saw it a "role model" pshh please. As , I was in the cafeteria with Ron everyone would compliment him even a girl said he had nice nails I laughed so hard she probably hated me after that. Oh gosh I need to stop talking about Ron. Suddenly my thoughts were shut when Ron says "Would you like to go the Annual Fashionably After party" Sounds classy of course I said that he quickly corrects me "NO! Ha-ha nothing like that it’s wild only the lucky ones get to go like us" Shut up I thought in my head I was lucky he was always chosen and begged to go. Finals were on Friday and the party on Saturday I definitely needed to go shopping I sat in my room thinking what look I should go for since the theme was masquerade. When suddenly my mother walks in yelling throwing open the door saying I was a liar "Oh great." I thought she found out about me skipping class. No it was much worse than that my world had came to an end I felt my grandma holding me that's when I knew she knew the whole truth. I cried and begged her to let me go to my Medical Internship that I could handle both careers if I had to I yelled at the top of my lungs "SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME FOR ONE TIME IN YOUR LIFE ACT LIKE I EXIST!”. The room got quite I poured my heart and told my mother I didn't want to follow in her footsteps that I wanted to be myself my own person not follow someone. I want to make a change every day in someone's life not their wardrobe. I hold my mother tight and whisper “I know I have disappointed you but I promise ill make you notice me and be proud for once". She cries nana holds her and says to calm down my mother runs to me and hold me tight "My poor child I have always noticed you and been proud I know you can take care of yourself. As, your brother can't he's always needed me more than you have. I love you for taking care of us both when your dad left us." I had never heard my mom say something so meaningful my eyes watered up and I broke down we all did.


Finals were finally here my mom and I have finally been closer than ever and said if I passed both finals I could stay in Medical field and drop my classes at FIDM. I was so excited! I was finally happy everything was going my way. I quickly remember as if it were yesterday I rushed out of bed and finally dressed up in a cute Maxi dress since I went over my hours at the hospital I mean I practically live there. I got an iced coffee and hurried cause as always I was running late.3 hours into my test I decided I was done and practically sprinted out the door to my FIDM final which was so much easier and way shorter. I decided to get lunch with Ron since I was always closer to him than my friends at the hospital who were way to competitive and over their head at trying to be first as well as the best, don't get me wrong I was just like them but Ron wasn't like us scared half the time that we would kill someone. He was calm and cool he relaxed me in many ways.

Saturday came I went to the hair salon and nail shop to get all dolled up for tonight's masquerade I had my mother and Givenchy make a specially designed dress for ball gown. I've never been so excited tonight was my night nothing could ruin it or so I thought. Once, everyone was done with me I turned around with my dress and attempting not to cry I felt like a true queen my dress was a red long swan lake meets phantom of the opera I felt. I looked like a goddess Ron knocked at the door and once he saw me he was speechless which made me feel a hundred times more amazing. We arrived I could barely see or recognize anyone since everything was dark plus everyone was wearing masks. Suddenly Ron took me to a private room and began to kiss me I thought this was leading to well you know... I was wrong Ron was never my friend I hated him I wish I could make him feel the way he had made me feel. Ron had given me a kiss I always wanted but it was deadly Ron my Ron had hurt me. Not only hurt me but he had suffocated me till I no longer existed I was dead... No one cared no one heard my cries for help I was gone.


My body wasn't found till the next morning where the janitors found me. I saw everything that was happening I felt everyone's pain I wish I could Ron myself but I couldn't I couldn't do ANYTHING! I was dead and I couldn't accept the fact I was. I had everything going I passed my finals I was supposed to be a surgeon my mother had finally gotten close and let my father’s death to only be prepared for mine. The thing that hurt me the most other than seeing my loved ones cry and hurt for me was Ron. How could he pretend he liked me and maybe even loved I thought? How could he keep calm and acted like he cared all these months I was so stupid and niece to believe it I should have followed my instinct and ignored him. The question was why did he kill me I watched over him since I couldn't let go of this world I had lived in for 23 years but all I could see was regret and insanity Ron was a physic I wasn't his first victim he had killed more and never been caught. All that didn't matter I was dead and he was alive I prayed for my family, him and myself to forgive him. I needed to let go so my loved ones could let me go I was ready to leave this world and accept my cold reality. As I kiss my mother goodbye watching her sleep I whisper "If you love me let me go because I love you". She heard me and began to cry.

I closed my eyes and disappeared into the light where I now belonged because I Jane Blogavich surgical intern for the Orange County Hospital was dead.