Escape




We were both walking down the street to school, hand in hand. We were casually talking and he had a firm grip, I liked it, it made me feel protected. Then I told him. I told him I was running away from home, I expected him to immediately let go of my hand and start yelling but he kept his firm grip and remained calm. “Why Emily? Can we talk this through first? Is it something I did?” he said to me in a worried voice, he was thinking that it was his fault. “No, no Jason!” I quickly responded “It was nothing you did, but I have to go. Jason, I live every day in fear of my father, this is the only way I could escape.” We kept walking and he looked down. “The things he does to me are awful and he constantly beats me. I just can’t live this life anymore; if I stay he will kill me”. He continued to look down “I could protect you, you don’t have to go, please don’t go”. He was begging me to stay in a solemn voice “No Jason, I’m sorry but this is something I have to do” I said this as we were walking up the school stairs into the building. I heard the bell rang and turned to Jason, “I have to get to class” I gave him a hug and a he gave me a small kiss on the cheek and we went our separate ways.



I hadn’t told him this part yet but I was planning on leaving tomorrow. I had everything packed in my room closet. I hid it behind a bunch of stuff incase my father came into my room so he wouldn’t find it. I had been planning this for the longest time and I was going over everything in my head while I was in Math class. It’s all I could think about. I had a tent, it seemed unpractical at the time but I was too young to get an apartment, moreover I couldn’t afford it, and I live in Florida so the weather was always nice. Unfortunately it was my only option, I had part time job after school that my father didn’t know about and I would continue to work there so I would at least be able to buy myself a little food. I had a backpack with clothes in it and a couple books. I was only taking things that were absolutely necessary, I needed to keep my load light because I would always be moving, I couldn’t risk being in the same place for too long. “Emily, are you going to answer the question or would you like me to wait until your day dream is over” my teacher said to me. I quickly jumped in my seat and frantically tried to figure out where we were, “Um, yeah, um, is the answer, um 64?” I said just shooting a number out there “Yes it is, good job.” My teacher said firm and approvingly “but next time you might not get as lucky so try to stay awake.” He said sarcastically to me. “Right, sorry, Mr. Bear”.



School was finally over and I walked home without Jason. I was going to wait for him but he was taking too long and my Father gets really angry if he gets home and the house isn’t clean and there is no dinner. I couldn’t wait for him and he knew that. I went home and frantically cleaned the house. I was throwing away old beer cans from last night, and cigarettes just tossed everywhere. I tried to clean as fast as I could so I could check one last time that I had everything in my bag. I did but I was just making sure, then I went into the kitchen to start dinner.



I heard a knock at the door, I went to see who it was and it was Jason. He took my hand and said “let’s go for a short walk” I walked out the door and closed it behind me. “I am going with you” he said to me as we walked “Jason stop, you know I could never let you do that. You have a life here and a future ahead of you, I have nothing left for me here.” He looked up then said “I will protect you! I wouldn’t let anything happen to you, but I can’t just let you go out into a dangerous world out on your own.” I looked down, this was the hardest thing I had ever had to do, I didn’t want to leave Jason like this “I have already made up my mind, I am sorry Jason but I have to do this, you have a future, if I stay here, I won’t” We were approaching my house and I turned to him. I pulled him close to me and hugged him. “Good bye” I whispered in his ear. I walked up my driveway and had a tear in my eye, but that tear quickly went away when I saw that my father was already home, and I hadn’t made dinner yet.



I ran into the house and my drunken father had already had a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. It was dark in the house; he didn’t like to have the lights on because he said it was a waste of power and money. He didn’t even look at me but he said in a low voice, “where were you?” I hesitated for a moment and then said “I went on a little walk, I needed some fresh air.” “Did you forget that dinner wasn’t going to make itself?” he said in the same voice but he started to raise it this time. “I wasn’t feeling well, I will go make it right now” I started walking towards the kitchen and he stood up. My back was towards him and I felt a thumb on my back. It was huge and hurt; it was so big I fell over. He had thrown something at me! It was big and heavy, it was a dumbbell that was left on the floor.



I was lying face down on the floor and my back was in so much pain. I turned over still not sure what had just happened and saw him advancing towards me. My first instinct was to get up and run but I couldn’t. I was still in too much pain. So I started crawling but I wasn’t fast enough. All of a sudden a felt a foot in my stomach, he was kicking me. He bent down and took me by my shirt and lifted me up. He pushed me against a wall and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. I tilted my head away so I didn’t have to look at him. He let go of my shirt and I fell to the ground. He took one last punch to my face. “I expect dinner ready in 30 minutes” he said to me as he walked away.


I lay on the floor for a few minutes; it was hard for me to breathe. I slowly picked myself up and pushed myself to my feet. It become a habit of mine to be able to pick myself up, a habit I had to adapt to survive; I guess you could say it was like survival of the fittest. It was hard at first, but once I got moving it didn’t hurt as much. Luckily for me this wasn’t his worse beating, there had been much worse. And I knew that if I didn’t make dinner I would have to look forward to another beating after dinner, or worse I would get a visit from him in my bedroom in the middle of the night.


I started to prepare dinner, I made macaroni and cheese, and it was all we had. 30 minutes pasted and he hadn’t come out of his room. Than an hour passed and I decided to eat without him. I peeked into his bedroom and he was passed out. I realized now that this was the perfect time to go. I wanted to wait until morning but I didn’t want another beating when he woke up for God knows what. So I silently hurried throughout the small house I got everything from my room and packed a few food items from the kitchen into my backpack. I didn’t dare go out the front door because he might hear or wake up and see me, so I climb out my window and started to run. I didn’t get very far before it started to hurt to run, but I had to keep going, so I walked. I walked the streets in darkness; I was officially on my own, I had officially escaped from the terrors of my father.



I dodged the street lights to make sure no one saw me. I had to go somewhere where no one really knew me or my story, but I still needed to know the area. I knew exactly where I wanted to go. I went there all the time because it was my favorite place, but there was virtually no one there. It was a little wooded area by the lake, there were no cabins or people, I went there to clear my head a lot and the view was beautiful, not to mention it was the perfect place to pitch a tent. I would only stay there for a few nights but it was a safe first destination. It was a long walk though; I usually ride my bike but couldn’t because my father ripped wholes in both the tires because he said it was too much of leisure for me to have a bike and didn’t like to see me happy. So I enjoyed the walk, I looked up at the moon and the stars because in this ugly life I was living they were beautiful, it gave me hope.



It was a long walk to my destination but I finally got there, I looked at my watch and it was eleven o’clock. I set up the tent pretty quickly. I threw my things into it and was about to go in when I caught a glimpse of the moon. It was beautiful and was shining over the lake. I went over and sat on a rock and just looked at. I looked at the sparkle of the water as it reflected the moon and realized how beautiful it was. While sitting on the rock I looked back on all the horrific times that my father beat me. This was the first time I realized how lucky I was to be alive. It’s a miracle that I survived 16 years alone with him. I thought of a few specific times when the situation was touch and go. One time when I was 13 and I got home from school late; He was already home and furious that the house wasn’t clean. He then beat me for an hour using a combination of his fist, foot and random objects near him. He then finished my off by grabbing a knife from the kitchen and taking it to my arm. He flips my arm over, stabbed it and sliced it down my arm. There was a huge cut and I quickly wrapped it in a nearby towel. I wobbly walked to my room, I was really dizzy and could barely stand up. I then passed out and woke up the next day. He still expected me to go to school so I wore a long sleeve shirt. Later I looked online and realized that if he had decided to cut a half a centimeter over we would have cut a major vain and I would have bled out and died. The cut took a long time to heal and I still have a scare today. After a while of looking at the moon I went into my tent and feel asleep. For the first time I took a big breath and I was relaxed because I knew nothing bad was going to happen to me tonight.



I woke up the next morning and changed my clothes. I drank some water from the lake, grabbed my bag and started to walk towards the town. First I was going to go to my job and tell my boss that I had become available at all hours of the day, every day. Lucky for me I have a much laid back boss and he said ok with no questions asked. I then went over to store to buy some food for the day. I made sure this wasn’t the store my father went to. I started to walk back to my tent. It was a long walk and I had to avoid main roads so I wouldn’t run into anyone. When I finally got back to my tent it was about noon. I got out of my bag an apple and a bagel. And I began to think about what class I would be in at this time. I bit into my apple and it was delicious and crunchy. But then I heard another crunch behind me. It was the sound of person stepping on a broken branch.



I swallowed my spit and took a big breath in fear of who was standing behind me. “My future is nothing without you” the voice said. I quickly turned around and saw Jason standing there. I couldn’t help but smile, I ran into his open arms. “How did you know where I was?” I said to him so happy he was with me. “You’re kidding right? This is your favorite place in the world; I would be stupid not to look here first.” I laughed and so did he. “Well we can’t stay here long; if you could find me so can other people”. I had lost the thought of him not being with me on this journey. Everything I said before about him not being with me wasn’t even an option anymore. To be honest I was glad he was here. He always made me feel safe.


For a while we just sat on the rock and looked at the lake. I shared half of my lunch with him and told him my plan about work. He agreed that he would try to find a job as well. “You don’t have to do this you know, you can go and I won’t think anything of it.” I said this a lot to Jason that day. But like I said before, he had already decided that wasn’t an option so his reply always was “I won’t go anywhere unless you come with me”. A sense of satisfaction rushed through me when he said this so I eventually stopped asking because I really didn’t want him to go.



After about two hours of leisure time we started to break down the tent and gather everything together. I started to plan for what to have for dinner and where we would get it. Jason made a suggestion that we go out to eat and I told him that we could afford it. “You don’t worry about it tonight” he said to me “dinner tonight is on me”. I smiled and agreed to go out to dinner with him. So we began to get ready, I put on the nicest things I had which was dark jeans and a sweater. When it got dark and everything was packet up he guided me to the restaurant that we were going to. He took half of the bags and we were walking while holding hands. It was a long walk outside of the town, but I didn’t mind the walk because I had the company of Jason.



We finally got to a place called Hunger grill. It was semi-formal so I didn’t feel underdressed. That night we ate like kings because we knew it was the only decent meal that we would be eating in a long time. We stretched the moment out as long as we could until the server asked us to leave. We walked out the door holding hands and ran into a man. I didn’t bother look at his face, we just apologized and kept walking. “Emily?” I heard my name coming from the man and I realized who it was. I acted like I couldn’t hear him and kept walking. “Jason, do not look back whatever you do” I said in a very quiet stern voice. “Why Emily?” “Because that man back there that was my father”.



Jason tightened the grip in his hand. I didn’t know if my father had gone away because I hadn’t answered or was following me because he knew it was me, but I couldn’t find out. “On the count of three Jason, we are going to start running, as fast as we can” “ok” he said immediately agree with me. “One, two, THREE!” We were running down the street as fast as we could and I think I could hear someone running after us but I wasn’t sure, I still didn’t dare look back to see. Jason had taken a turn and pulled me with him, only the turn led us to a dead end ally. We got to the wall and looked at each other frantically.


We turn around and sure enough there was my father standing in the dark. He didn’t start running towards us ready to beat me up but rather just stood there and in the small light of the street light I could see that he was holding a gun. Without hesitation he took two shoots.


Jason and I died the same way that we lived our life, hand in hand. No matter how hard I could have tried I would have never been able to escape from my father for as long as I lived. In a way death was a good thing, it guaranteed and ultimate escape from my father.