I walked in to a large room, painted a tan color with cheesy posters covering the walls. I heard the door close behind me as I walked in and then I knew what I had gotten my self into. I sat on the couch patiently waiting for the therapist to walk in. The door opened slowly. “Why are you here?” I heard as the therapist walked into the room and sat down.

“I have not had the easiest time in the past...” I replied. “I have lost both my mother and father, and now I have no one. All I have is a crappy room in a small orphanage where they give me no freedom, and I have no friends.”
I said in a harsh tone.

“How did your father die?” she asked me. A tear started to stream down my face. I closed my eyes and imaged the day it happened. “I was 8, living in a small town where everyone knew everyone, and everyone was friends. My father left to serve in the navy for what he said to be about one year, and every day until that year ended I had been counting down days for him to come home. I mean one year is a long time for someone to be gone especially my father. In the mean time, until my father came back I had been living with my mother, one who I had lived with my whole life and she is like my best friend... just older.

I was hanging out with my friends for the day until my mother called me in to the house. She had bad news for me. I was thinking of what it could be. She started to cry. I hate to seeing my mother cry, and she didn’t cry very often so I knew it had to be bad.

“Alyssa,” she said to me in a whimpering voice.

“Yes,” I replied nervously to find out what the new was.

“You, you,” she stuttered trying to get the words out of her mouth.

“Go on,” I said. Still trying to get enough breath to say a complete sentence.

“Your father has died.” I must have not heard her correctly.

“Say it again,” I said to my mom.

“Your father has been killed by an explosion,” she said. At that moment my heart dropped.

“No! No! That can’t be” I shouted. “I didn’t get to say goodbye. I didn’t.” I then stopped talking and shriveled to the ground.

“I know, me neither.” My mother said to me as she came to the ground to comfort me. I had never felt so much pain before. It was if my world was coming and crumbling down around me. I knew that was not happening though.” I stopped speaking.

“Wow, that must have been hard. And your mother?” the therapist asked. I closed my eyes again and to a deep breath. “It was the night of July 16, 1987. The sun had just set, prettier than I had ever seen. The red glow in the sky, and seeing just enough of the sun to have a little of the light left in the day making it look like I was in a movie scene. I had just finished up my chores that my mother had assigned me to do.

Good night! I called down to my mom from my room.

Good night, I heard right after. I turned out all the lights thinking of how nice it was going to be getting a good nights rest for the next day to come.

I woke up nice and early the next day to help my mom with some gardening before it got to hot out side and so that I could have some time to myself and relax. For about two hours we had been working. The beautiful sunny day started to slowly fade away. I could see smog building up in the sky. The smell, the smell was getting to me. My mom looked at me with a puzzled look on her face, so I knew it was not only me who could smell something in the air. The smell of smoke. I looked around and I saw nothing so I knew that the smell and the smog had to be coming from over the mountain side. My mom and I had finished all the gardening that needed to be done, so some of my friends came over and we played around out in my yard running around, amusing each other, not caring about a thing that was going on around us.

I saw some flames in the distance but in my mind, I knew they would be under control before it reached my house. As my friends started going home I could still see the flames of the fire getting closer and closer. I could see my mom in the distance, still gardening doing what she needed to get done so our garden looked as good as possible. I don’t believe that she knew what was going on around her.” I then pause for a moment. More and more tears streamed down my face. Catching my breath, I continued talking to my therapist.

“I turned around for a total of five seconds to head back toward the house, and in that five seconds I could feel a gust of wind come swooping through the air. As I turned to look back, flames came blazing down the hill and my mother had disappeared from my sight.

Mom! I cried out hoping she would be able to hear me. I got no response back. Mom, Mom, MOMM! I cried out again getting louder with each word I said. Still I got no response. The flames came closer and closer to me, I had no choice but to run. Not looking back I ran as fast as I could away from the burning house.

Out of breath I stopped. My heart was racing. My mom; that’s all I could think about at that moment of time. I did not see her, I did not hear her. My mom; what was happening I thought to myself. I turned around and saw my burning house in the distance, the bright orange flames burning the wood from my house I had lived in my whole life to the burnt all the way to the ground. That was all. It all happened so fast. The memory is now burned in my brain. When I close my eyes, pictures of flames flash in my brain.”

“Sounds like you have been through a lot in your life, more than most people will ever have to deal with.” She said to me.

“Don’t pity me though,” I said. “Having such a rough life, I have learned to deal with a lot of things that most people will never experience, and that has made me bigger and stronger.” I told her.

“Good for you.” She said. As I left the room I had dreaded going into, so much had been removed off my shoulders. I had never told anyone that story before and just getting it all out there felt magnificent. Although it was not the easiest thing to do it really helped. Now back to the chamber orphanage where I do not belong but had to go anyway.