Break up | Teen Ink
  1. Home
  2. Fiction
  3. Realistic Fiction
  4. Break up

Break up

April 30, 2013
By compassion GOLD, Nowhere, Other
More by this author
compassion GOLD, Nowhere, Other
12 articles 17 photos 153 comments

Favorite Quote:
Expect to have hope rekindled,expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways! The dry seasons in life do not last,the spring rains will come again.

View profile

'I love you' he said in a voice so debilitated. Melancholy rang in those indolent words. His benighted eyes could no more shelter those redundant tears of dissipating hope. The long lashes fluttered them out to make room for more of repressed pain to be divulged and undressed. 'I am sorry' as he fretted, his hands maneuvered gently from holding my chin and embraced them into mine that lay lifeless in my lap. My pounding heart exploded as his quivering lips kissed my bare shoulders... predictably for the last time. He arose, sundered and walked away ....along with the setting sun. My speechless world strung into an absolute imperfection.

© Calvin C., Salt Lake City, UT

Post a comment
Submit your own

Similar Articles

Previous Next
Fiction
thoughts brought up
By Anonymous
Fiction
My Father's Torch
By Anonymous
Fiction
Son Rise
By Anonymous
Fiction
The Test
By Anonymous
Fiction
The Past
By Babyz BRONZE
Tooele, Utah
Babyz BRONZE, Tooele, Utah
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Due onto others as you wish others to do onto you.

View profile
Fiction
Sugared Touch
By Anonymous

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 19 comments.

Nella.Girl97 BRONZE said...
on Mar. 19 2014 at 10:52 am
Nella.Girl97 BRONZE, Ashland, Wisconsin
1 article 0 photos 437 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Keep on dreaming even if it breaks your heart."

View profile
...speechless.... beautifully written!
compassion GOLD said...
on Jan. 11 2014 at 4:21 am
compassion GOLD, Nowhere, Other
12 articles 17 photos 153 comments

Favorite Quote:
Expect to have hope rekindled,expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways! The dry seasons in life do not last,the spring rains will come again.

View profile
I will always treasure your comment. You dont know how much it means to me!!!! Thank you so much for your encouraging words and genuine request :).
lilredd7 said...
on Oct. 19 2013 at 8:26 am
wonderful... mesmerising and for a while quite suspenceful...lovely I beg you please keep writing.
xxilybaexx SILVER said...
on Sep. 19 2013 at 9:09 am
xxilybaexx SILVER, Inkster, Michigan
8 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Even though you'd hurt my feelings, I'd still forgive you. Even if you don't love me, I'd still reach my hand to you. Even if you're gone, I'd still wait for you. Even if you break my heart, I'd still say, I love you."

View profile
Absolutely beautiful....
.king. SILVER said...
on Jul. 1 2013 at 1:55 am
.king. SILVER, Yeux Bien Tres Bien, Other
9 articles 4 photos 569 comments

Favorite Quote:
( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

View profile
Amazing, very touching, emotional.. I can't find any other words to explain this__  Except that I am left speechless. 5/5!!
Songs_Along GOLD said...
on May. 30 2013 at 9:13 am
Songs_Along GOLD, Abcd, Other
16 articles 0 photos 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sometimes we are only given a few minutes to be with the one we love and a thousand hours to spend just thinking about them."

View profile
why can't i rate it more than 5?!!!! sheesh!! it is so so so good!!! touching and beautiful!!! luv it! :)
Crossfire SILVER said...
on May. 29 2013 at 11:20 am
Crossfire SILVER, Duncan, South Carolina
7 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I want to be brave, and selfless, and smart, and kind, and honest. I'm still working on kind..." ~ Four A.K.A Tobias

View profile
Amazing... And I'm a guy... What people don't realize sometimes is that girls do this to guys as well... But good job Compassion.
LiraDaeris PLATINUM said...
on May. 23 2013 at 3:30 pm
LiraDaeris PLATINUM, Tucson, Arizona
22 articles 0 photos 135 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You&#039;re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who&#039;ll decide where to go...&rdquo; <br /> ― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You&#039;ll Go!

View profile
I feel like this would be a lovely piece of a novel. Like that part that when you're discussing it with friends you're all like, "OMIGOSH I WAS CRYIN SO HARD RIGHT THEN!!!!" There is a long story behind it I can see, and this would make a good climax.
River22 BRONZE said...
on May. 12 2013 at 12:30 pm
River22 BRONZE, Penang, Other
4 articles 1 photo 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
The opposite of love is not hate, it`s indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it`s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it`s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it`s indifference. -Elie Wiesel.

View profile
~It`s interesting and I love the words you use!! I wanna read more!! 
Valery5 said...
on May. 12 2013 at 11:29 am
Valery5, Riverside, California
0 articles 0 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What's bad for your heart is good for your art."

View profile
u have a way with words.....great job!
raymondbvbpaul BRONZE said...
on May. 12 2013 at 11:26 am
raymondbvbpaul BRONZE, Sanandreas, California
4 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible- it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any other material posesion could.<br /> <br /> ~Barbara de Angel

View profile
this was awesome   :)
compassion GOLD said...
on May. 12 2013 at 9:50 am
compassion GOLD, Nowhere, Other
12 articles 17 photos 153 comments

Favorite Quote:
Expect to have hope rekindled,expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways! The dry seasons in life do not last,the spring rains will come again.

View profile
Augustttttt i miss you! Thanks so much for the comment. They keep me going :P For now its not an excerpt but i may develop this into a story.  I am very happy you liked this :) I am Sorta, kinda, a little busy preparing for exams lol :P :D Sup with you?
compassion GOLD said...
on May. 12 2013 at 9:44 am
compassion GOLD, Nowhere, Other
12 articles 17 photos 153 comments

Favorite Quote:
Expect to have hope rekindled,expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways! The dry seasons in life do not last,the spring rains will come again.

View profile
Thanks candlelightwarrior. It is truly joyful reading your comment. Hope To get back to impress you  with more writes :)
Jade.I.Am ELITE said...
on May. 12 2013 at 9:43 am
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1159 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;If you&#039;re losing your soul and you know it, then you&#039;ve still got a soul left to lose&rdquo; <br /> ― Charles Bukowski

View profile
Dang, this is so good!! Your vocabulary is beautiful, I really liked this!!!!!!!
compassion GOLD said...
on May. 12 2013 at 9:39 am
compassion GOLD, Nowhere, Other
12 articles 17 photos 153 comments

Favorite Quote:
Expect to have hope rekindled,expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways! The dry seasons in life do not last,the spring rains will come again.

View profile
Thank you so much for you comment Liliy. I am glad you liked it :) I am improving bit by bit :P Sorry for not replying soon.
AugustSummerFling PLATINUM said...
on May. 5 2013 at 5:49 am
AugustSummerFling PLATINUM, Mylapore, Chennai, Other
35 articles 0 photos 265 comments

Favorite Quote:
&#039;For you, a thousand times over.&#039; - Hassan, The Kite Runner<br /> <br /> A professional writer is an amateur who didn&#039;t quit.

View profile
Is this an excerpt from a longer piece that you're writing? Quite well written and it unravels slowly, with due deliberation and it's beautiful :) keep writing! N btw, how r u??
CandlelightWarrior said...
on May. 4 2013 at 1:53 pm
CandlelightWarrior, King, North Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;What is normal to the spider is chaos to the fly.&quot; ~Morticia Addams

View profile
Beautifully written. Very impressed I was! Keep writing, and also great vocabulary! The words of this passage are absolutly delicious!
lily_sings GOLD said...
on May. 4 2013 at 12:06 pm
lily_sings GOLD, Felton, Pennsylvania
15 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
Hope is the thing with feathers, it perches in the soul, and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all. -Emily Dickinson

View profile
This is so bitterly beautiful, it sent shivers down my spine. Excellent work, keep writing.
SunnyDreams BRONZE said...
on May. 4 2013 at 12:02 pm
SunnyDreams BRONZE, Niger Falls, Other
1 article 0 photos 274 comments

Favorite Quote:
Can you feel what I have seen, when no one else has lived through what I have?-HalveOfLife

View profile
so passionate!! Luv it