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Fall Apart
He's standing in the hall, talking to his friends as he glances over at me, awkwardly. I glance back. We don't dare say a word to each other. We smile, we walk away. I feel another little piece of my heart shatter and I swear his does too. I glance behind me as I walk away to find him staring after me. I walk slower, hoping he'll catch up, but he doesn't. He angrily makes his way to class as I stand at Zach' s locker, pretending not to notice. I wonder, what ever happen to the days when he walked me to class? I start to tear up and I run to the bathroom. I spend the next ten minutes crying and trying to put myself back together. I'm already late for class, so I take a moment to glue all my pieces back together. I slowly walk out of the bathroom, still sorta sniffling, to see him standing there, hands in pockets, looking at the ground. He looks up at me with those gorgeous green eyes and I think I'm going to cry again. I bite my tongue and swallow hard, so I don't cry. I hold my side's so I don't fall apart. He steps closer and I almost flinch. He stops, as if he's done something wrong. I half heartedly smile at him and open my arms, tears running down my face. He pulls me close, hugging me into his chest. I feel my heart pound, as if it's going to explode. He strokes my hair, but says nothing. I start to pull away, but he holds me tighter, kissing the top of my head. After a moment he holds me at arms length, says he loves me. I try to say it too, but I can't find my words. He kisses me, long and sweet, and for a moment I feel safe again. Then he starts kissing my neck and he notices my scar. He doesn't say anything, just runs fingers along the thin line the blade left. I see anger flash in his eyes for a second, but then he just looks sad. He strokes my hair again and kisses my forehead. He pulls me close again and whispers something in a shaky voice, as if he's crying, "Baby Girl, don't....please..." I don't look up at him, just hold him tighter and say "I didn't." He hesitates for a moment. Then he understands what I mean. He kisses the top of my head and tells me I better get to class. He takes my hand as I pull away and walks with me. He stops at his algebra class and tells me he will see me right after class. I head back to chorus, walking outside in the cold to clear my head, wipe my tears. It always happens. Five seconds after he leaves, I fall apart inside. Just a Little though, I'll be okay in a minute or two. Until the few minutes before I see him again. Then I'll be a nervous wreck. I just want him back...
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