I Wore Those Shoes

There she stood on the ledge. Her boney, almost translucent skin, looked like it would rip any second. Dark circles hung under her eyes. Something about her seemed ghost like, almost fanciful. Looking around, a crowd gathered. A lady next to me screamed, terror filling her voice. She tightly held on to a cross necklace, moving the Karat gold quickly though her fingers. With her eyes closed, she was praying this wouldn’t happen.

The scene was too familiar. It brought me right back. I was fourteen years old, sneakers too small, ripped jeans, and long hair. Everyone thought I was the happiest kid; playing basketball on the streets with my friends and tackling each other in the alleys during a game of football. But they didn’t know I was lost in my own mind, fighting myself in a hard battle; a war in my mind. I thought that this would just pass. Was it normal for teenagers to feel this? I was in her shoes. I was the kid on the ledge ready to take that jump. But it would have never solved my problems that could have been fixed with time. It would have only caused my family pain for the rest of their lives. Getting help from the ones I love and councilors, I grew to love myself, with finding a place where I belonged. It was hard, but it could be accomplished. The fight with myself ended.

She stood toes clinging around the edge of the smoky red bricks. Curled tight enough, her small toes turned white. The air was still and smelled of choking smoke of the city. The feeling of tension hung in the air and all around. People held their breaths afraid it might let out a small wind, strong enough to blow her right off the ledge.






“Come down Darla.” The women with the necklace cried. She screamed loud with hurt, love, and horror in her voice. It reminded me of my own mother, her voice that scream with strength, terror and a broken heart. The girl looked away not able to look at her mother, knowing she had caused her pain. I looked to her mother, her hands trembling. How weak she looked made my heart break. I had to do something for her and more the girl.

Adrenaline responded to my emotions quicker than a flick of a whip. I raced to the mother and whispered to her.

“I know what she’s going through,” then rushed toward the building in effort to change Darla’s mind.

“You don’t want to do this,” I screamed at her. “It won’t fix the problem. It’s only temporary.”

Streams of red and blue lights danced around the buildings. They had arrived. Someone must have called, but I wanted to be the hero for this girl.

“Darla, come down,” I yelled, with at a hint of terror in my voice. I didn’t want to see this girl take her own life. “You can overcome this, trust me.”

Police surrounded the area, telling her to come down; I knew she wasn’t listening. She was pushed to this point; inside she couldn’t take it anymore. She was at the end of her tolerance.

I ran up to the door of the building, police tried to hold me back. I ignored their orders and ran with all my might to where that girl was. I pushed open the door to her room. I could see her hair blowing slightly back into the open window and her knees chattering together. She was fragile, but so strong. I knew it.

“Darla, listen to me, I know I’m a complete stranger to you, but I’ve been in this position. It’s not worth it, because things will get better.”

Her head turned slowly sideways as if she was listening. Her profile was all I could make out from the darkness of the room. The lights of the city made shadows around the room, but it was nothing like the day’s light.

“I was fourteen when I thought about committing suicide. I overcame everything and I know you can too.”

“I’m seventeen,” she said is a soft voice. “I don’t even know what’s wrong with me besides the fact I’m not happy.”

“Darla, please come back inside and we can talk.”

She slowly knelt back into the room and looked out to everyone below. She let out a deep breath. She closed the window and locked it and with her back still toward me, moving backward slowly taking her time. When she reached me and turned to face me with her head down. I lifted her chin and told her to listen carefully.

I went through my whole story and talked to her, while we walked her down to her mother. When seeing her child, Darla and her mom hugged for the longest time and cried. Everything would be okay.