Tovey Lesnikowski was a lobsterman. He was also my uncle. He had a great deal of passion for what he did, and on Columbus Day weekend of 1994 he went on a fishing trip and never returned home. Had he had a first mate along for the trip, maybe he might still be here today. However, what matters is knowing how his life changed the lives of so many other people.

Like my uncle, I am the middle child. If there was nothing else more in the world connecting Tovey and me, that fact would do it. I think that middle children understand the problems that other middle children face. You’re not the oldest so you’re not the most special, and you’re not the youngest so you can’t be the cutest; you’re just stuck right in the middle. And I think that if my uncle were alive, he would be that relative who was also my closest friend because he would understand me.

My uncle is still around today in so many ways. He lives on through the things that we all do to remember him. I’ve spent a large portion of my life on the Peconic Bay where he spent the majority of his life. I learned to water ski at age five and have had an immense love for it since. When I was eleven I learned how to slalom ski and from the day that I got up on one ski I have been using the water ski that was previously my uncle’s. It’s an amazing feeling to be skiing on the ski that was once his because I feel like I am carrying on a tradition. I do not water ski for anything more than fun yet it is one of my proudest accomplishments. I take pride in using Tovey’s ski; I feel as if it is an honor, and one that he would want me to have.

My siblings and I boat around the Peconic Bay most days every summer and all I have to do is take a look at my surroundings to realize that my uncle is all around me. The place where I grew up is also where he spent his childhood as well. It’s a special place filled with tons of stories that tell my family’s history. My Uncle Tovey’s story is a constant reminder that life is so precious and that time has the ultimate control over our lives. I know that I need to appreciate what I have at all times and that I cannot waste time doing anything that does not make me happy. Every year on August fourteenth, Tovey’s birthday, we visit the Montauk Lighthouse where the Lost at Sea Fisherman’s Memorial is located. If I ever lose sight of what is most important in life, this day is always a reminder that I should be appreciative of the family and friends that make my life so special. I will never let this event turn into a negative thing because that is not how my uncle would have wanted his life to be remembered. He is a very special indication that family is by far nothing to take for granted. My Uncle Tovey managed to teach me my life’s most important lesson without saying a word to me.