Innocence | Teen Ink


September 26, 2011
TheGirlWhoDancesWithSnowflakes SILVER, Sunnyvale, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

She saw the boy standing there, partially hidden by the shadows as she walked through the summer festival with her mother. All she could distinguish was the beautiful silver fox mask on his face, the twisted smile seeming to silently beckon to her. The startling sea-foam green eyes that stared at her from the holes of the mask had some hidden emotion within their depths, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

Cassie glanced away from the shadows and stared up at her mother, her dark blue eyes full of questions. Who was the boy in the mask? And why was he staring at her? She wasn't anything special. She was just plain tomboy Cassie; 12 years old; shoulder length black hair that spiked in the back with long bangs in the front and dark blue eyes that were full of naïveté. Pale skin that made her look washed out and a simple baby blue kimono -her mother was into the Japanese culture- with plain wooden sandals. In her hair, there was a plain blue rose that hung off the side of her head.

Yes... Just plain, boring Cassie.

"Momma," Cassie's tiny childish voice piqued as the brunette woman glanced down at her daughter, her dark blue eyes full of love.

"Yes Cassie?"

Cassie fidgeted and her cheeks flushed pink as she pointed towards the shadows, her hair falling into her face to hide her expression of embarrassment.

"There's a boy looking at me."

Cassie's mother's head shot up quickly and she tugged Cassie closer to her knees, a look of shock on her face as she surveyed the area. She didn't see anyone... But... Someone watching her daughter...?

As long as they didn't wear a mask -the symbol of the notorious gang, the Black Cranes- she had no reason to worry.


Cassie glanced up at her mother, a confused look on her face, as she tugged her mother's red kimono sleeve incessantly.

"Momma? What's wrong? Why was that boy looking at me so intently?"


"Because... He was dazzled by how pretty you are. So he couldn't keep himself from staring," her mother replied wistfully, a soft motherly smile on her beautiful face.

Cassie didn't understand that at all. If the boy in the smiling fox mask thought she was cute, why didn't he come over and tell her? Or tug her hair like Jess from English class did when he told her that he thought she was cute, neh?

Letting out an exasperated sigh, she grabbed hold of her mother's hand and walked through the festival, enraptured by the soft glow of the paper lanterns and the sweet music singing in her ears. In front of her, little children were racing around, tiny paper cranes folded neatly in their hands. She had always wanted to have her own paper crane.

"Look Momma! Paper cranes," she squealed as she released her mother's hand and raced towards the children, a small giggle escaping from her pink lips. The children smiled at her tantalizingly and began to scatter, leaving an abandoned pink paper crane on the ground.

Cassie blinked her eyes in awe as she crouched down and picked the pink crane up, holding the delicate crane in the palm of her hands with an innocent smile on her cherubic face. It was so beautiful, so well sculpted...

"You found my crane."

Cassie's head snapped up and she flushed at the blond haired boy in front of her. Her eyes traveled over his form, starting at his feet and drinking in his features, until her eyes landed on his face. Her breath got caught in her throat and she gasped as she was captivated by the boy's eyes.

His sea-foam green eyes were staring at her so intently, as if seeing through her...

Where had she seen those eyes before?

"I-I'm Cassie," she whispered softly, trying to ease the tense atmosphere that seemed to loom over the boy. Her blue eyes scrutinized the boy with curiosity, her attention immediately being drawn to his face. His honey blond hair framed his matured face perfectly, yet it looked like he just rolled out of bed.

"... I'm Tobias."

Cassie blinked her eyes in shock as his rough, matured voice filled her ears. He didn't sound anything like the boys at her school; his voice was husky and deep. She licked her lips tentatively and nodded, a small blush on her pale cheeks.

"T-Tobias kun," she murmured in her squeaky girl voice, her head tilted up to stare at Tobias in awe. He was super tall, at least 5'7. She wondered how old he was. Cus his voice sounded to mature for him to be a twelve year old like the other boys.

She really wanted to know more about Tobias kun. He seemed mysterious and different. Cassie always did find herself attracted to the different things in life.

Tobias blinked his eyes in confusion, his mouth twisted in an awed look, as he stared down at the smiling Cassie.

"Tobias... kun," he repeated, his beautifully strange eyes full of shock and his tone clearly stating that he was startled by her name for him. "Are you... Japanese?"

Cassie giggled as she picked herself up from her crouched position and dusted her kimono off, a soft look on her face as she shook her head and held her hand out. The paper crane sat on top of her palms, undisturbed, as Cassie offered the beautiful art back to Tobias reluctantly.

"No. My mother and I just like the Japanese culture," she admitted with a charming smile as she spun around on her tiptoes childishly, her arms clasped behind her back as she stared up at Tobias with innocent blue eyes. "Do I look Japanese? I don't think I look Japanese, neh, Tobias kun?"

She stared up at him with bright blue eyes full of innocence...

His throat tightened at that word. Innocence. Out of all the children he had lured away today, she was, by far, the epiphany of innocence. Her eyes were full of trust and her body language stated that she was willing to listen and follow this boy's judgments without question.

He almost felt guilty for what he was about to do to this little girl.

"I know a place you can get more paper cranes…" his husky voice whispered in Cassie's ear and he offered the unsuspecting girl his tanned, calloused hand, a fake, misleading smile plastered onto his matured face.

She always wanted to have her own crane.

"Take me to the cranes," she chirped eagerly as her small hand grasped Tobias's larger hand. She hadn't even noticed the fox mask lying on top of his head as the boy swept her away from the festival, a lone black paper crane replacing the spot Cassie had occupied only a few moments ago.

In the distance, the yells of a distraught mother filled the festival night, getting lost in the joyous laughter, the soft glows of the paper lanterns, and the sounds overhead as fireworks lit the night sky...

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This article has 25 comments.

on Feb. 2 2012 at 3:50 pm
readaholic PLATINUM, Tomahawk, Wisconsin
27 articles 0 photos 425 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'd rather fail because I fell on my own face than fall because someone tripped me up
~Jhonen Vasquez

Great story, interesting plot and a nice twist at the end. Love it!

on Jan. 21 2012 at 2:47 pm
dolphinportkey7 GOLD, D, Other
12 articles 0 photos 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Because I knew you, I have been changed for good" AND "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"

Terrifyingly written, Chanel. It's tragic, it's heartbreaking, it's scary, and there's something strangely beautiful about the way Cassie would trust the boy like that. 5/5.

on Jan. 16 2012 at 1:06 pm
alluneedislove3, Alice, Texas
0 articles 5 photos 27 comments
Wow. Geez. I loved it. The only critique I have is that the girl was supposed to be twelve, but seemed much younger. Besides that, just wow. It was amazing, left me wanting to cry. I love to draw, and I would love to draw a picture for it sometime. But really, really amzing. Just wow. Geez...I think I'm repeating myself? OH, and you definitely deserved an editors check. In fact, I am thoroughly suprised you didn't get published in the mag with that one. Thank you for the amazing thought-povoking stories you have such a knack for writing.

on Nov. 30 2011 at 7:06 pm
Come-n-Gone GOLD, Unionville, Missouri
10 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
Isn't it funny how it only takes a few seconds to say hi, but forever to say goodbye?

awe... this is soo cute (: i love it!!!

on Nov. 4 2011 at 3:14 pm
VandalSpirit DIAMOND, Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin
51 articles 9 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of Gods great love, we are not consumed. His compassion never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Wow, this is really good. Honestly, this would be so awesome as a book. I know I'd love it!

Mystiecub said...
on Nov. 2 2011 at 3:45 pm




on Oct. 30 2011 at 10:14 pm
TheGirlWhoDancesWithSnowflakes SILVER, Sunnyvale, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 99 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

Lmao Oh man! I feel stupid now! I knew it didn't sound right! xD That you for pointing that out!

on Oct. 28 2011 at 3:13 pm
ThePhoenixRising BRONZE, Macomb, Michigan
4 articles 3 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.
—Albert Einstein
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
—Albert Einstein
I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
—Bill Cosby
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur. (Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.)
—Unknown Author
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
—Pablo Picasso

What a great story! Nice way to input the Japanese culture into a work of fiction!

on Oct. 23 2011 at 8:31 pm
Philosophication GOLD, McKinney, Texas
12 articles 3 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"This above all: To thine own self be true."
William Shakespeare's Hamlet

"To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid."

I really do love this story. It's fantastic. However, I would like to point out an itty-bitty thing... You used "epiphany" whan i think you meant to use "epitome". Other than that, fabulous. Keep up the good work!

on Oct. 19 2011 at 6:24 pm
Calliashi SILVER, Litchfield Park, Arizona
6 articles 0 photos 74 comments

Favorite Quote:
The man with the key is king and honey, you should see me in a crown. ~James Moriarty

amazing! I love the way you describe the story. Keep writing!

on Oct. 18 2011 at 7:44 pm
austenite77 GOLD, Appleton, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 58 comments

Favorite Quote:
Die my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do

It's interesting. I think you made Cassie seemed way younger than twelve, more like seven or eight. It was a little hard to follow. I liked how descriptive you were.

on Oct. 17 2011 at 5:04 pm
augustsun02 SILVER, Hamburg, New Jersey
9 articles 0 photos 76 comments

Favorite Quote:
Write. It doesn't matter if you're overjoyed, furious, miserable, or what. Write to keep those emotions in check while managing to grow stronger.

I WANT MOREEEEE!!!! This is sooooooooooooo good!! Poor Cassie :-(

on Oct. 9 2011 at 8:53 am
DanielleMitchell BRONZE, Sarnia, Other
2 articles 1 photo 6 comments
Omg, this is soooo amazing! I fell in love with the story from the first sentence! You have to write more now! Over all this is 5/5 at least!

khaox GOLD said...
on Oct. 8 2011 at 8:28 am
khaox GOLD, Nyc, New York
10 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is just a word: something meaningless. But in due time, you'll find someone to define it".

I love the descriptiveness; It's compelling and pulls the reader in. You did an awesome job.


on Oct. 7 2011 at 11:06 pm
Love.Hate.Passion., Spring Valley, Illinois
0 articles 0 photos 356 comments

Favorite Quote:
~Hope. Faith. Love~
~Be proud of who you are.You are all unique in a different way.~
~I WILL NOT fade into oblivion , and become less than
a distant memory.~

You must write now -.-

This was awesome and mysterious and suspensful.

5 Stars


on Oct. 7 2011 at 12:21 pm
juggaloscrub BRONZE, Brockton, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 6 comments
I like the descriptiveness and the mystery. The ending makes me want to read more

on Oct. 6 2011 at 2:57 pm
ChocoMint SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time." - Anonymous

"Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear." - Anonymous

Very good writing stlye!  Great descriptions and good metaphors/similies.  =+D  I only caught a few spelling mistakes, but those were hardly noticeable.  Good job!

on Oct. 5 2011 at 3:03 pm
andromeda13 SILVER, Barrie, Other
8 articles 0 photos 174 comments
Wow that was uber good! :) I loved it! It was a good story line lots of mystery and it was about a frightning subject but it wasn't to creepy, which I like. Five stars! *****

on Oct. 4 2011 at 6:40 am
iluvnacho PLATINUM, Somewhere, Colorado
28 articles 1 photo 67 comments

Favorite Quote:
\"Find the beauty in the ugly\"-Jason Mraz 5-19-10
\"Be kinder than nessicary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.\" Unknown 11-29-10

Oh, Angel, you've outdone yourself. :)

I loved all of the descriptions, and the curiousity of Cassie herself. She was an interesting character that kept me reading.

Overll, five stars. I can't really think of any advice....maybe run-on sentences? I don't remember seeing any, but since you use alot of descriptions and all, you know, keep an eye out for them.


GreyGirl ELITE said...
on Oct. 4 2011 at 3:50 am
GreyGirl ELITE, Pohang,Kyungbuk, Other
170 articles 122 photos 391 comments
Overall,very good story. I especially enjoyed your lovely analogies and precise, beautiful descriptions. You deserved the editiors choice :-) *****