The Flag | Teen Ink

The Flag

May 18, 2011
By Shayna121 GOLD, Port Charlotte, Florida
Shayna121 GOLD, Port Charlotte, Florida
12 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul.


I hated that flag. I hated the colors and stripes and stars. I hated everything it stood for. Red like the blood Ryan never would have lost if not to fight for it and the passion we had for each other. White like the innocence of a child being sent to war or the color of my wedding dress. Blue like ocean that separated us for months and the color of his skin when he finally came home cold and dead. The horizontal stripes lay like Ryan's body lays in the coffin. hat is to be lowered, horizontally into the ground. Then of course there were the stars. The stars that reminded me of our last talk together, before he went overseas again. We laid under the starry night sky and talked for hours about nothing and everything. We laid there knowing we would not see each other for a while, thinking about our future as a couple. We laid there trying to enjoy the peaceful moment we had before the hectic business of the next day. I hated those stars the most.
Once the flag was handed over and the guns fired, people said their last goodbyes and slowly started to leave for a quick reception at his home. Mrs. Beaupre and I were the last ones to leave. We just knelt at his freshly buried grave and said nothing. Did nothing. Felt nothing. I took the flag back home.
Its funny how a piece of cloth is supposed to stand for liberty and freedom, but what is the price that we pay for it? Is it really worth a good man's life? A life that could have been filled with happiness but was severed by the sharp knife of death. I once thought so, Ryan thought so I would guess, but I'm not so sure anymore.


The author's comments:
This is not a full piece...it is simply a chapter in a novel I am creating. The storyline is clearly not completed, I just want honest reviews solely based on this chapter (which by the way takes place well into the storyline, just so you know).

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This article has 8 comments.


on Jul. 26 2011 at 10:42 pm
ohmakemeover BRONZE, Centerville, Minnesota
3 articles 0 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Touch comes before sight, before speech. It is the first language and the last, and it always tells the truth."- Margaret Atwood

I really agree with the message of this piece, and you portrayed it realistically and with a lot of emotion.  At first, I thought I'd read a non-fiction piece, it was so heartfelt! 

Shayna121 GOLD said...
on Jul. 20 2011 at 3:25 pm
Shayna121 GOLD, Port Charlotte, Florida
12 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul.

"Hat" was supposed to be that...I made a mistake...

on Jul. 16 2011 at 1:50 am
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

Hey! I wasn't about to post this as a reply but a comment, instead. So sorry... PEACE!

on Jul. 16 2011 at 1:45 am
IAmWhoIWantToBe PLATINUM, Manila, Other
41 articles 0 photos 650 comments

Favorite Quote:
‎"I’m learning how to drown out the constant noise that is such an inseparable part of my life. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world: I run my world." - Beyoncé

hat is to be lowered... hat should start with capital H...

And, hey, this is great... :)

on Jul. 15 2011 at 10:09 pm
Garnet77 PLATINUM, Sinagpore, Other
31 articles 6 photos 577 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything's a triangle." ~ My mother

"Write what you love, write what you care about, because sometimes, it's the easiest way to be heard."

Everyone else mentioned what I caught, so I guess I'll stick to the positive stuff! This is really, really good! :)

on Jul. 15 2011 at 4:04 pm
WishfulDoer GOLD, Portland, Oregon
14 articles 0 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
If ignorance is bliss, why is our country so complicated?

I really love this piece. It actually portrays some of my own beliefs. The only mistakes I could find were those that CarrieAnn13 gave, although one line did confuse me a bit. Where she says, "I once thought so, Ryan thought so I would guess, but I'm not so sure anymore." There's just some confusion in there between the first thought so and the second. But otherwise, an amazing piece!

Shayna121 GOLD said...
on Jul. 15 2011 at 3:22 pm
Shayna121 GOLD, Port Charlotte, Florida
12 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul.

Thanks for letting me know I didn't even realize it...I'm too heavily reliant on spell check and it doesn't work all the time.

on Jul. 14 2011 at 7:58 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

"...like Ryan's body lays in the coffin. hat is to be lowered..."  That's one of the only mistakes I could find.  The other was "Its funny how..."  There should be an apostrophe in 'its'.

Other than that, this is a great start to your novel.  Good job!