Brown Nothingness | Teen Ink

Brown Nothingness

April 18, 2010
By luv_icecream SILVER, Dubai, Other
luv_icecream SILVER, Dubai, Other
7 articles 1 photo 15 comments

His eyes were always what they noticed first. Eyes like a dead fish. They were eyes that stared at nothing, yet seemed to take in everything. A big pool of brown nothingness…
He hobbled on slowly, stick in hand. He stared straight ahead, not turning around. Children looked at him, mouth open in fear. The braver ones even came over and looked straight into his eyes. Some even came and poked him, running away as quickly as they came, their friends silently cheering a while away. All this, he seemed oblivious to...
Behind the nothingness, there was a story. They were eyes full of misery, full of pain. Eyes like that of an injured dog, silently pleading. He was begging all the sadness to go away…
“No one knows where he lives, or how he survives, but there is clearly something weird about this man. I have heard that he hasn’t talked to anyone in ten whole years!”
They were eyes that have seen war, eyes that have seen his brother die, his sister, his mother, his father, and his darling wife and son. He was never to see his son graduate from school, proudly holding up his diploma. He was never again to smell the sweet fragrance of his wife’s perfume and his mother’s mouth-watering apple pies… They were eyes that were alone in the world…
A mother sees her daughter looking curiously up at him. “Janey come back here right now!” The girl scurries up to her mother tears running down her face “Mommy, I only wanted to talk to that man, he looks so sad ” Her mother pulls the girl away. She had heard enough of town gossip to know that this man was an odd fish. And as for Janey wanting to talk to him, well...
They were eyes that reflected the misery of the world…

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This article has 7 comments.

on May. 18 2010 at 9:10 am
Kandabear SILVER, East Bend, North Carolina
7 articles 0 photos 93 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I went insane from long intervals of sanity." - Edgar Allan Poe
"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say but what we are unable to say." - Unknown
"You must say drunk on writing so that reality can not destory you." - Ray Bradbury

Wow. You're are really talented. This piece is emotional and targic and yet interesting. I love it. You have an incredible talent with diction and wording. I really really can't think of anything to say to improve this piece. This is great.

on May. 18 2010 at 4:13 am
.Escape.From.This.Afterlife. GOLD, Short Hills, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
"bad blood is more satisfying to spill across the floor..."

Wow, this was really good.  I'm impressed, the story is very touching!

on May. 9 2010 at 11:43 pm
luv_icecream SILVER, Dubai, Other
7 articles 1 photo 15 comments

Thanks :D I tried to make it as descriptive as I could though I am not really good at writing yet... 

Yeah, maybe I should have made her speak to him... 

SandyC SILVER said...
on May. 9 2010 at 9:07 pm
SandyC SILVER, Concord, Other
5 articles 0 photos 78 comments

Favorite Quote:
"In the end it won't matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away"

that was amazing.....i rly like dyur description of the man, and the way yu portrayed his story, it kind of put me in his position, it made him relatable to the reader, as if he were a real person, not just a character....and i agree with MetalChickRock...i wish that the girl had spoken to him as well

-Missy- BRONZE said...
on May. 6 2010 at 6:06 pm
-Missy- BRONZE, Ahhh, South Dakota
1 article 0 photos 75 comments
This was good. I just wish that the girl had talked to the man, he needs a friend!

on May. 6 2010 at 6:12 am
luv_icecream SILVER, Dubai, Other
7 articles 1 photo 15 comments
Thanks!! :D I'm glad you like it!!

SageSin GOLD said...
on May. 5 2010 at 6:30 pm
SageSin GOLD, Oaklawn, Illinois
11 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Accept everything about yourself. I mean everything. You are you, and that is the beginning and the end; No apologies, no regrets."

Quite a crypic PIEACE! I think the way you betrayed the feeling of this man as nothingness becasue of a war is verry true sensationasl work however i wish it was longer and maybe an adjective or to? FANG SAys:///,...,^ :I LOVES IT!