We started seventh grade. Jamie got new friends and Annabel and I did too. We were Populars. Well, she was. I was just there by association. If we have a fight I’m kicked to the curb. I wasn’t worried though. We did sports together, but had none of the same classes. I had a bunch with Jamie.
Annabel’s kid name “Anna” was discarded and everyone called her Annabel. She had her first boyfriend. I didn’t. I didn’t really care though.
Then Annabel quit Soccer. She had never done that before; it was her favorite sport.
“My legs hurt too much when I play,” she said when I questioned her about it, “Plus I’m way too tired.”
“Okay,” I replied. I figured she’d rest this season and go out for Basketball with me.
January rolled around and kept complaining about how her back hurts so much all the time. Her legs do too.
She started taking pain meds. It helped a bit, or at least that’s what she told me.
No sports that year.
Her Mom started to get worried. She was tired, and she was always sick. She became frail. Her mom took her to the hospital. They did tests. Next thing I knew she wasn’t in school. She called me and said, “Can you come to the hospital?”
“Okay,” McKayla drove me.
It was upsetting to see my best friend in a hospital bed, in the gown, but I cried when she told me why she was there.
“There was a bump,” she said, “on my neck. They did tests, and my blood cells are off. They’re not working right. I have Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia.”
I never expected Annabel to get cancer.
I watched her through the chemo and watched as her beautiful long red hair started to fall out.
Then the doctor said she was getting better. The chemo had worked. She came back home and back to school. She was greeted happily back. Her hair was peach fuzz but it grew quickly.
Summer passed and everything was almost back to normal.
Then one night I got a call. Her mom was freaking out. I didn’t understand much, “Annabel… fell… hospital… emergency.”
That night stood still. I couldn’t go to the hospital, it was too late. The next morning I skipped school and went to the hospital. Annabel was awake and happy. She had just fainted. I stayed with her that day. I didn’t want to leave, but I had too. Only family was allowed to stay after visiting hours.
I woke up the next morning happy, it was Saturday and Annabel was coming home. I went downstairs and smiled at my mom. She didn’t smile back. McKayla was there too.
“Kammy,” Mom said, “I’m sorry, I don’t know how to say this…”
“No!” I knew what came next; I had prepared myself for this a year ago. Not now.
“Last night, she had a stroke…” I sat down on the floor, hyperventilating and sobbing. Mom tried to comfort me. It didn’t work. That was the worst day of my life. October 17, 2009.
Her funeral was a week later. I was meant to speak. So I did.
“Annabel Noel was my best friend,” I said, “I’ve known her forever. We’ve had our share of mishaps and arguments but we loved each other.” I looked out at all of her friends that were crying. Her boyfriend James wasn’t here. His parents were though. “I didn’t think I could handle anything without her. I still don’t. But I will she would want me too. It’s a cliché but that’s for good reason. I don’t know what I’ll do without her, but I’ll live. I’m going to live my life for my best friend.” I pulled out my favorite picture of the two of us. “This picture,” I said holding it up, “was taken by James last year. Right before-right before she was diagnosed. I think she knew that she was really sick, because she made me promise that I would never stop living. Another cliché. Without Annabel I never would have survived. She’ll be missed by more than just me. I’m sure that all of you will think of her a lot. But I will never be the same without my best friend. She was more that though. She was my sister. Forever.”
I choked up and cried. My mom came and took me off stage.
I didn’t hear the rest.
After the funeral people mingled. I meandered around, not really talking. Then I saw Jamie. She was sitting all alone in a chair staring at the picture of Annabel.

“After she was diagnosed,” I said to her, sitting in the chair behind her, “Annabel told me that she wanted us to make up.”

“She said the same to me.”

“She wanted us to be friends,” I said, “I ignored her for a year. You never apologized, or even told me why you said yes, or even why you stopped talking to me a year later.”

“I was mad at you,” she said, “I don’t remember why, but I was. I’m so sorry.”

“We’ll never be the same, but do you remember that old coffee shop? In between or neighborhoods?” I asked.

“Julie’s? Yeah.”

“Meet me there tomorrow at noon,” I said.

“Okay.”








Epilogue:

Jamie and I became friends again, Chris was there too, but I’ve since gotten that love. Its freshman year. I have that picture of us framed in my room, and in my locker.
I wear a necklace every day. It has a ring on it. Her ring. It says, “Forever my baby” inside it. Her Mom gave it to me a month after her death. I’ll always have her with me.
I’m still friends with the Populars. I go to their parties, but I’m not one of them. They see me as one but I don’t. I have my own friends. Jamie and Chris, my boyfriend Sam, Ashley, Crystal, Jessica, Breanna, Kensie, Mia, Ben, Tyler, Jeremy and Marina. Those are their names. I will never love any of them as much as I love Annabel.
I still dream of her.
In all of my dreams I see the day we took that picture.
“Live and Love,” she says. “You will never have a real life without heartbreak, and your losses become your greatest and wisest moments.”