“Mrs. Minor, how sweet of you to let me be on your show. I really appreciate it; this job is helping to pay for my college.”

My voice sounds sticky sweet and totally false, even to me, but Lisa “big foot” Minor lapped it up like a dog drinking from a toilet. That was the speech I said to every host I met and even though it was mostly a lie, it made them feel better about spending so much money on a kid. My grandmother, Eliza Goodridge, past away two years ago and had left my sister and me a decent amount of money. I was saving mine for college; Emilie preferred to save it for her future.

Lisa Minor gushed, “Well it was our pleasure, Noelle. We were so excited to have the Collins family with us again; you were all very charming when we last saw you.”

That was a lie, plain and simple and clear. Last time we were here for Mom, Emilie had a cold and I was annoyed because I had been forced to miss a party for this. Emilie kept coughing all over everything and I threw a tantrum during a commercial break. Not exactly what you call “charming.”

“How sweet of you to say that. How’s your family?”

That was a neutral topic, like the weather. And it made the person (i.e. host) feel like you genuinely cared about them. Lisa Minor broke out in a dazzling white smile that reflected the lights above us and nearly blinded me.

“They’re just great, Noelle. Mr. Minor just got moved to L.A and my son, Seth is fitting in well. He s got a girlfriend who’s so sweet and has the cutest name, Charlotte. Don’t you think that’s just darling?”

“its just adorable.” I said. I couldn’t help but notice a look of sadness pass over Lisa Minor’s face and I remembered now, too late, why. Dr. Isaac Minor had separated from her when she was caught doing drugs, driving when drunk, and had actually done time. At the time, their son Seth was only a baby and had almost been hurt when his mother got in a crash while she was drunk. Lisa swore she would change but she never did, so they finally divorced and Dr. Minor got full custody and Lisa Minor moved to New York to be far away from Seth. That was where she started working for the network and got bumped up to host. That was sixteen years ago and Lisa Minor hadn’t seen her son in real life in that entire time. True, Dr. Minor sent her pictures of him and she sent him presents under the alias of Mary Smith, his old great-aunt who could never come to see him. I think the story went that his mother died of cancer when he was two. My mother had found out from Lisa herself when she was last here and told me. She would never trust Emilie; she was to big of a blabbermouth.

“Yes well Sethie, he’s going to graduate soon and I would so love to be there but I have to work.” she said, a look of falseness in her eyes. She didnt know how much I knew so she kept her story straight. I smiled apologetically at her just as we were called to the stage.

“Well, we should be heading down if we want to keep our heads.” joked Lisa Minor, all sadness gone from her eyes. I hopped out of my chair and followed her past the lights and camera to where the set was. It was designed like a room with pale yellow walls, white trim, and two open windows that opened to a blue sky and plants. In front there were two plush chairs, colored light blue with a little glass table in front. Next to the seat that I assumed was Lisa Minor’s was a basket with magazines and a plain white mug on the table in front of it. Lisa Minor walked over to the seat and settled in before saying, “Come on Noelle. We don’t have all day.”

I looked over to Jillian who was standing off to the side and she nodded once. I sat down in the other plush chair and Lisa Minor smiled and said, “Good girl.”

Then the director said it was time for the show to start and so the theme music played before the announcer said, in his deep voice, “Aaannnnddd… here’s Lisa Minor with special guest…Noelle Collins.”

Then the camera panned on us and Lisa Minor said, “Good Morning New York and thank you fro joining us. I‘m Lisa Minor.”

She smiled for the camera and then said, “Well today we are going to be talking with young writer, Noelle Collins, the author of The Diary of a Teenage Goddess: The Lilith Caldwell Story. Now for those of you who have teenage daughters, you may have heard of this book. Noelle, how did you become inspired to write this book?”

She looked at me and I calmly replied, “Well, I’ve never been popular and I had been writing for a while so I wanted to try something different, something I didn’t know a lot about, and it stuck. Next thing I knew, we were in publishing.”

I remember being scared the first time I did a TV show. But then I got on stage and all my nerves just melted away. After, the host said I was a natural and if I wanted to work in show business, I probably could be a top-notch actor. I thought that was sweet but I never would pursue a career in acting. I enjoyed writing too much.

Lisa Minor nodded and moved on to her next question, “And there have been rumors that your book is going to be turned into a movie. Is this true?”

Wow. News does travel fast. That was only released yesterday.

“That is true. The Diary, as I call it, will be out sometime next year.” I said.

“Any juicy info you can give us on it. Have you started casting?”

Lisa Minor was leaning in now, like a vulture staring at its almost dead prey. I had to resist the urge to shudder. Instead I just smiled and said, “There’s not much but I can tell you except that the storyline will be very similar to the book. I should know, I’m helping to write it.”

(Insert gasps and other startled sounds.)

“Really? Well that’s wonderful dear, but don’t you have schoolwork to think about? I mean aren’t you busy enough right now? Surely you‘re not behind in school?”

Lisa Minor had that motherly-worry look on her face and even though I could see right through it, the audience probably would eat it all up. It was sick how stupid people were sometimes.

“Well yes I have school but I get all my assignments e-mailed to me by my best friend so that keeps me up to score and if I don’t understand anything, I have my sister who can help me. And if she doesn’t know, which is very rare, I go to the school and ask my teacher. Its very simple really. But that’s only when I’m away. When I’m back home, I go to school like a normal teenager.”

Lisa Minor pursed her lips like she disapproved but I didn’t really care. Now I knew why my mother never watched her shows. She was so whiny and controlling. Seth should be happy he doesn’t have to deal with her. I could barely stand a few hours with her; he would’ve had to share years with her.

Now, Noelle, lets talk about some personal stuff. Do you have a boyfriend?”

She leaned in to hear well and I could imagine her robotic audience leaning into their TV’s.