The day was January 29th. I was scheduled to have an interview with a local New York TV show, Talking With Lisa Minor, at nine. It was eight o’ clock and I was in hair and make-up at the time. My agent, Jillian Foster, buzzed around me as the make-up artist worked on my face. I was used to the routine by now. I mean doing countless TV shows, book signings, and appearances begins to be boring after a few months. You smiled and waved when appropriate but really was thinking, when is this going to be over so I can go home and sleep? At least that’s what I thought.

Jillian has been my agent since the very beginning. After The Diary of a Teenage Goddess: The Lilith Caldwell Story was published, Mom decided I should have an agent. She would know, being a retired writer herself. My mom was esteemed writer, Lauren Collins, author of #1 Best Seller And They Came Tumbling Down. It was a story about how two sisters come to live with their aunt and try to solve their parents’ murder.
Everyone knows that the sisters, Angelina and Ella Loraine, were based on my sister and me, but what they don’t know is that their cousin Emma Jane is also based on me.

Mom still is asked occasionally if there ever is going to be a sequel; her standard answer being no because she has her hands full taking care of me and my sister, Emilie. “Where would I have the time?” she says.

She was a single parent; our dad having left us before my mom knew she was pregnant with me. Emilie was now paying her way through college, juggling school and work, with a little help from me.
I was only fifteen and a sophomore.

Now that we were older I think Mom’s will has wavered a little bit especially after I became a writer. Who knows, maybe a plot to her sequel is already turning in her mind.

I sit with my eyes closed while my make-up artist, Chloe Francisco, applies concealer to the circles under my eyes. She is ranting in Korean to Jillian. Jillian is Korean too and can speak the language fluently. That’s why she always demands to use our own make-up artist at gigs. That way she and Chloe can trash talk people in another language and nobody knows. Well except for one time when a security guard was Korean too and could understand every word they were saying. He was cool though and even joined in their conversation. I think he and Chloe dated for a while too. I know Jillian would never date him though. Her boyfriend was overseas in the Marine Core. They’re planning to get married when he gets back and I‘ve been promised that I could be a bride‘s maid.

Well, Jillian was yelling everything that Chloe was saying to her to me in English. They were mad because I had stayed up all night talking to my best friend, Eva, again. It wasn’t that big of a deal except that due to my sleepless night I had big circles under my eyes that were more prominent on my pale skin than most people‘s. Chloe was having a hard time covering them up which added to the annoyance and frustration that she already had due to the fact that it was early, she hadn’t had her morning coffee, and traffic had been bad on the way here, almost making her late. Chloe was not a morning person.

“That was completely irresponsible to stay up all night when you knew that you had a big show today, Noelle!”

This was the first stage, The “irresponsible” stage as I called it, of “The Rant.” Here Jillian would tell me how I was “completely irresponsible” for doing something the night before I had a “big show.” It didn’t matter to her if I was performing to a one-person audience or a trillion-person audience, it was still a “big show” to Jillian.

“Staying up all night talking to Eva before a big show is irresponsible and immature, Noelle. That’s not something I would expect from you. If you do this ever again I will confiscate your phone!”

Stage two, The “Expectation/Threaten” stage. Here she would cross her arms and glare through her dark black slits for eyes. She would also threaten to take things away and how she never would have expected me to do this. She never did take anything away but she had a talent of making any minor offence sound like I had committed a murder.

“If you are ever this immature before a big show again I will tell your mother and let her deal with you. So help me I will, Noelle! You have disappointed me to the point of disgust and I cannot believe you would behave like this! I can barely look at you, in your irresponsibleness!”

This was the peak of Jillian’s anger which is why I call this “The Peak” stage. Here she threatens to tell my mother of my “irresponsibility” which she has never done before. She respects my mother too much to tell her what an “irresponsible” daughter she has. Before we had ever met, Jillian was a big fan of my mother and when we asked her to represent me, she dropped her other client to be with us.

Still, I try to look sad and sorry except if I have to smile when Chloe applies my blush. So far Jillian’s tally for the words “irresponsible” and “big show” stand at this: “irresponsibility”3, “big show”3. She usually goes between 3-5 per word, 3 being a minor offence, 5 being when she really ticked off.

“Sorry, Jillian, I just started talking and before I knew it, it was three. You know what its like, don’t you?” I say.

“No, I am responsible, unlike you. I should start calling you irresponsible Noelle. And sure your sorry because you have to hear me rant before your big show!”

You may not notice but she’s starting to relax during the “cool down” stage. She uncrosses her arms and I see her share a look with Chloe. She may say that she never stays up late talking but I’m pretty sure she did the same thing the night before with Chloe. They’re best friends as well as cousins. That’s why Jillian hired her partly, I think. I’m not complaining though. The lady does some fab-U-lous work. Seriously, I love her, even if she does get to be a tad bit grouchy in the mornings.

Just then, Lisa Minor comes in, sparing me the final stage of “The Rant” Stage five: the “grumbles”. Jillian is completely over my offence even though she still occasionally grumbles. This is the hardest stage for me to go through; I mean, you’ve yelled and threatened me. Just let it go already.

Lisa Minor is platinum blonde; definitely not natural. Her blue eyes are piercing and her aging pale skin has wrinkles forming on it.. Still, there is something charming about her. She comes into my dressing room and says in her charming southern accent, “Well don’t you look all grown up, Miss Noelle. Its been a long time since I last saw you, except that was for your mama. Now you’ve followed in her little footsteps.”

Lisa Minor has big feet: size eleven and a half. Last time I was here with my mom she couldn’t stop complaining how my mother has such small feet. That wasn’t true; they were average size eight and a half but still, it was an improvement from Lisa’s big feet.