I moved the big city of dreams to find myself. I did not want a good education and I did not want to find the love of my life here. The New York air practically spilled into my lungs, as my best friend, Adrian, and I walked into our new apartment. The walls were white, and clean, it all felt so unmarked. We both appreciated the fresh start because we had nothing to appreciate before. “I can’t unpack, I can hardly move, and besides it’s almost 1am. Let’s get a cup of coffee” His words soothed my throat as if I could already feel the warmness taking over me. It was a very Farrah-Adrian thing to walk up 7 flights of stairs and decide to turn around for coffee.
New York City greeted us with a cool sky and bright lights as soon as we walked out of the building. Adrian had forgotten his wallet, then assured me he would be back with a few bucks, and that he would meet me inside. Across the street there was an empty coffee shop called Manny’s. I stumbled in to be greeted by Manny himself, a short, sad looking man with striking eyes. He didn’t matter to anyone, but he mattered to me and I didn’t know why. I sat down without looking up, scared of what would happen if our eyes met.
“Are you happy?” I heard from the front end. I looked around, waiting for someone to respond, only to find that I was alone in a midnight coffee shop. My eyes continued to tumble around the room as he added, “I see people walk through those doors everyday. Everyday, I can tell who is fulfilled and who is still looking for something.” I looked him straight into his eyes, “Are you trying to suggest…” He cut in suddenly with words that changed my life, “The walls we build around ourselves, not only keep out the pain, but the happiness.” Who was this man? How could he see into my soul like words were spilling out of my pores? “How do you know what happiness is?” I shot back. “Happiness is never stopping to think if you are.” By the time I realized what this stranger had told me, he had already shaken every part of me. So I got to my feet and ran, because his words were exactly what I was scared of hearing.
I fell into Adrian on my way out, grabbed his hand and led him far away from the realization I had just made. When we reached the 7th floor, Adrian still reached for an explanation. I lit a candle, placed it between us, and we sat on the floor, as I explained that sometimes you can’t analyze the past, you just have leave the pieces on the floor and move on. We smiled, and the New York skyline smiled back at us both through the window of the 7th Floor.