[Past]
“Hey Lily, you ready to go?!”
Amanda called from the bathroom to Lily in her bedroom where she was in the middle of rolling a big joint for later that night.
“Yah, soon.” She replied distractedly as she searched for her cigarettes in her purse. She found them and slid the joint in the pack for safekeeping. She walked into the bathroom, and stood next to Amanda. She leaned forward to the mirror and checked her makeup looking directly for a second at her blue eyes, large pupils and red veins surrounding them. She sighed and flipped her blonde curls behind her shoulders.
“Mmk, I’m ready. Let’s roll!”
She stumbled out her room, and Amanda trailed behind her. She was already tipsy from the four shots of tequila they shared while waiting for Tony, Amanda’s boyfriend, to pick them up. They left the empty Beverly Hills mansion laughing and yelling, her parents were out somewhere or another like usual. The air was cooling off after a day of scorching heat, and a warm breeze rippled through the palms trees as they waiting for Tony with a cigarette and a couple swigs of leftover tequila. The sun set behind the houses in front of them, and the sky turn red like fire, making the blue above look like water to extinguish it.
A beep announced Tony’s arrival as his red BMW convertible pulled through her gates and up the driveway. Amanda got into the passenger seat and kissed Tony hello as Lily piled in behind her.
“So you’re the infamous Lily Parker. How nice to finally meet you.” The voice slid across the seats as Lily looked into the darkness for the guy behind it.
“This is Travis, Lil. He’s one of my surfing buddies.” Tony announced this from the front seat before he went back to tickling Amanda.
“Nice to meet you,” she said. “I’m afraid I haven’t heard anything about you.” She put emphasis on the anything for Amanda’s benefit but it got totally lost on her, she was to busy in the throes of young love.
“So,” she said, turning to Travis. “What else do you do besides surf?” He began to list off his interests and hobbies like he was at a job interview with she tried to check him out in the dark of the car. She got a vague outline of flopping brown hair messily getting in his eyes. He was constantly pushing it back, his hands were dark brown from the sun and the waves and she only imagined the rest of him was too.
They pulled into a deserted parking lot beside the beach; the families and little kids were now a distant memory of empty freezy wrappers and broken pails that littered the lot. Lily knew this was her cue. She opened the door and stopped only to turn back to Travis, “I’d come with me if I were you.”
She shut the door behind her grabbing the bottle of alcohol at the last second, and she heard Travis copy her. They walked along the beach, drinking and smoking, talking and laughing. She saw his eyes in the moonlight, bright green visible even at night.

[Present]
The soothing blue walls depressed her as much as the bouquet of flowers sitting on her bedside table from her parents. She sighed and lay back to look at the ceiling, wishing she were anywhere but here. A knock at the door broke her thoughts and she looked up. A middle-aged woman with a short brown bob and mothering brown eyes poked her head into the room; her eyes looked Lily up and down in concern.
“Lilly, hun, its time for your group session. I’ll be outside your door to make sure you don’t skip it again, you need this. And plus, this is your first week here. Do you want to get kicked out already?”
Lily rolled her eyes and lay back down, promising herself that she wouldn’t sit with a bunch of losers with even lamer problems than them. The lady shut the door with an “I’m serious” look and Lily thought of way to escape the Holly Oaks prison for the unloved and attention depraved.

[Past]
The music pounded into her temples like a hammer, and she desperately needed air. She turned her head, looking around for one of her friends to help her out of there. Her eyes locked on Travis and he grinned a replied as he began to walk towards the sofa she was sitting on.
“I recognize that look,” he said as he reached her. “You need a smoke, and not alone.”
“Damn right babe.” She replied and he grabbed her arm, yanking her up from the soft red cushions of the crowded sofa.
They walked through the party, hand in hand, and finally reached the back door that led to the deck. She reached into her bags for her cigarettes as Travis pulled her towards him and began kissing her hungrily.
“Hey get a room losers!” A voice yelled from the darkness and Travis left to say hi to another one of his surfing buddies, a promise to that he’d be quick on his lips. She smiled and nodded, she couldn’t manage much more and she wanted some alone time. She wandered to the other side of the deck and sat down, passing on her cigarettes; she pulled out a joint and began smoking it. She watched the smoke drift into the sky as if her mind drifted with it.
“Hey babe, past me some of that.” Travis’ voice brought her slightly to earth and she passed her joint along. “Thanks,” he replied, taking a long pull on it, his head tilted to the stars.
“Oh, that reminds me. The guys over there gave me some bomb s***. Its called ecstasy and apparently it takes you to the moon and back.” She looked at the little baggy with small white pills in it. This wasn’t the first time he had offered her pills or something else and she had took them before, not wanting to be left alone by him.
She looked into his emerald eyes, “I promise babe, and it’ll be fun. I won’t let anything happen to you.” And looking into his eyes, she believed him.



[Present]
“And that’s where they found me, on the floor of my bathroom, blood gushing from my arms.” The guy blinked, and she looked away from his eyes deciding they were more of a pale green than an emerald green like Travis’. His eyes were the only thing that reminded her of him. She wondered briefly why this guy in front of her didn’t wash his greasy black hair once in a while.
“Thank you Eric, we appreciated you sharing.” The soothing voice of the group leader, April, broke her train of thoughts as her eyes narrowed on Lily.
“Lillian Parker, is that correct?”
“No, it’s not. My name is Lily, Lillian is my grandmother.”
“Ok, Lily it is,” she replied happily, making Lily cringe. “Would you like to share something to the group?”
“No, but I’d love a cigarette thanks.”
“I’m sorry Lily but we don’t condone smoking here.”
“Well s***, my parents pay like a billion dollars at this stupid place and I can’t even go out for a smoke break? This is bulls***.”
April’s nostrils flared at this, it was her sign and only sign of anger she had shown so far. “I’d appreciate it if you left that negative language out of my circle.”
“B****, this isn’t your circle. It’s OUR circle, like you keep saying so get it straight.” Lily was testing her, seeing if she’d break or not. This was the only excitement she ever really got in this place. They kept her locked up and watched like she was going to drop dead any second.
“Lillian,” April had reverted back to her full name, I guess to annoy her. She now had venom in her tone and a bite in her words, “Why don’t you tell us why you are here? I’m sure everyone would like to know how bad you messed up so they can learn from you.. somehow.”


[Past]
She looked at herself in her bathroom mirror; it swam in front of her as she tried to focus on the image of herself. She sloppily splashed water on her face, trying to calm down her beating heart and boiling skin. The walls moved as she stood, they were making her dizzy so she decided to get out of there. She moved slowly to her bedroom in the dark and she fell over her discarded purse left on the floor. She groaned inwardly, feeling like she was going to throw up but like she didn’t have the energy to. She reached towards her feet to try and grasp the strap on her bag, and she fumbled. This to seemed beyond her abilities at that moment.
‘Where’s Travis?’ She thought to herself, he was supposed to have been at her house three hours ago to try the new pills she had gotten. Her phone buzzed at her feet as the room swam around her and a black spot in the center of her vision grew until she couldn’t see anymore. The next morning she had woken up in the hospital with her anxious parents awaiting to tell her that she was being shipped to rehab away from everyone around her.

[Present]
“Lillian?” April asked with a smug look on her face, “well?”
“I have nothing to say to you or these freaks.” She looked around the circle briefly and got up and strolled out the door.
She went back to her room and checked her phone, the only source to the outside world, for messages. She had a couple from Amanda and some other girl friends, but none from Travis. She called his home and no one picked up, so she called his cell.
“Hello?” A strained and absent sounding voice answered, a girls voice.
“Hello, is Travis there please?” Lily asked impatiently.
She got no answer, only the sound of muffled talking and the shuffling of the phone.
“Hello?” his voice question.
“Babe! Oh thank god. I haven’t been able to reach you before now.. and I’ve missed you! What’re you up to? How have you been? Oh and who was that?”
“Who was who?”
“The girl that answered the phone obviously.”
She waited, she got nothing. “Travis? Babe?”
“I’m sorry but you’re like in rehab now and honestly who wants to date a girl who can’t hold her drugs. Sorry babe but-“
She cut him off with a snap of her phone and threw it across the room, watching it shatter against the wall like her life had shattered the day she met him.