The snow falls slowly through the air you begin to shiver while waiting for the bus to get to you so you can go to school. Your breath is visible and you pray that you will see the bus come to save you from this cold. As the bus slowly turns around the corner, you suddenly feel warmer, as if a hero has just saved you from your demise. You get on the bus and see the little kids in the front who are too scared to talk to anyone, they make you think of when you were that old and the only worry you had was what mom put in your lunch box. As you continue walking down the aisle looking for an open seat, you see the loud kids in the middle yelling about some game they are playing. Just a few years ago you and your friend Alexander were sitting in that spot but, Alexander left a year ago and now the only friend you have on the bus is yourself. You see the open spot that you sit in every day, it's surrounded by the other high schoolers who are too physically and mentally drained to talk. It's quiet and nice and you sit in your spot and look at your home as you slowly pull away. You live in the country so you look for signs of wildlife, maybe a deer, fox, or dogs in people's yards, or even the common runaway house cat in someone's cornfield. Today you see a small family of deer in a corn field, the fawns are jumping around and enjoying their youth, and the large doe is watching for any predators that would try to harm their family's bond. You start to see the town that you go to school in, and you see the few people walking into the school from their houses A child, around 13 years old, fell on some ice he didn't see. He fell to the ground and began holding onto his elbow which took most of the blow. The bus explodes in laughter and pointing fingers. You look at the kid who is embarrassed for falling in front of such a somewhat large group of people. You see his lip quiver as people start standing up from their seats and blocking your view to get off the bus, you stand, but the kid is gone. You finally get off the bus and begin walking towards your school's main entrance, the cold hits you one last time before you enter the warm school.

 You read the sign that always says ¨Welcome to New Germany High, Home to the mighty Wildcats!¨ 

The color purple begins to swarm your eyes as you wonder. ¨Why is a wildcat purple?¨

You get greeted by the new Vice Principal who's trying to get familiar with where he has started his career. You he seems like a person who is good at being mad. Even though you can see the smile on his face, you can still feel the fury in his eyes. You walk to your first class excited to see the person who you share the class with, Marie. You have been talking to Marie for a while and all of her friends are bugging you to ask her out. You telling her friends that you like her and want to ask her out is one of the biggest blunders you´ve made in high school. The pressure to talk to her and be with her is constant and you feel as soon as you start dating it will be washed away. You sit down on your seat and lay out all of the work that you have to do, all of the work seems confusing to you and that makes sense because your grades are alright at best. Your mom is disappointed in you because of your grades, but she would never say that to your face. You wait around 6 minutes for class to start but you're waiting for Marie. Marie is a short girl with long blonde hair and the bluest eyes. She's funny, smart, and very nice. You and her have been friends for a while but just for the last month, you were liking her. You were stunned when she walked into the classroom but then Davante came by you.

¨Arthur did you hear?¨ Davante asks.

¨Ok bud you need to provide a bit more background info than did you hear.¨ You reply.

“At the party at Marie's house. I thought you would be the first one to know because you are dating her.¨ Davante said in an asking tone but you know he's telling you.

¨No, I didn't know about anything like that.¨ You responded.

¨Wow! It's going to be at her house and it's kind of messed up that you aren't invited and some other guys are.¨ He replied.

This surprised you because you thought that Marie liked you too but you need to take your mind off that and focus on what matters, more information,

¨Hey Davante, who are the main people setting this up?¨ You ask.

¨Kevin and Steph.¨ He uttered.

Kevin is someone you wouldn't want around somebody you're talking to. His past experiences make him not the ideal person to hang out with people you like. Lately, you and he have had a back-and-forth argument with each other so you're afraid that he will try to ask her out or flirt with her to set it up. They have dated each other in the past but Marie you're pretty sure has lost feelings for him but you don't know if Kevin has lost feelings yet. Steph is someone you aren't best friends with but he's close enough where you two can have a good conversation. Steph is also an angry person probably because he keeps on being mocked for his short stature. All Steph, Davante, and you are on the basketball team together so every day you are forced to hang out which can be fun sometimes. 

You try to cruise to the end of the day, but the work at school is hard and you are struggling. You get into the locker room and begin to change to get ready for practice and you can hear the others talking about the party. Kevin said he couldn't wait and the other kid was wondering why he wasn't invited. Kevin lies and tells the other what he wants to hear so the conversation can end. You tell the uninvited kid that you aren't invited too but he shrugs you off and you go to practice.

The practice was a drag for you and it was filled with the coach telling the team that they need to be better for the next team you will face because of our recent performance but, you frankly have stopped caring about anything because you are quick to be anxious. You think to yourself about Kevin, he has done some bad stuff in the past and talked about Marie and how she looked. And as of late Marie has been not talking to you as much and has not opened your text and when she does talk to it's short and quick. You decide you´re just paranoid because Marie is a smart girl who has liked you for some time you think. You think that a reason for this doubt could be because you haven't asked her out yet and all of her friends have been constantly bugging you, maybe she has lost interest because you have been too slow. You two have only hung out once together and you will not ask her out over text or at school so you don't know what to do. The drive home with your dad was silent. The only time we talked was when we saw a deer, a deer that was alone, it was standing in the same field as the ones you saw before. This time the doe was alone and in your dad's headlights, it looked scary and we slowed down to avoid hitting it. The deer walked by the car slowly. But, as soon as it got out of your lane a car from the other lane came out of nowhere and sent the doe flying into the ditch. Your dad slowly started getting back to the speed limit and throughout the whole time, not a single word was said. You pull into your driveway and as soon as you step in the door the chaos starts. Your big brothers ask about your little “girlfriend”. You tell them to leave you alone, sprinting to your room and slamming the door shut. Your entire family hates that you spend so much time in your room but it's the only spot where people don't yell at you and your brothers don't try to bother you. You lay out all your homework so you can start but your phone distracts you. You see that Davante is texting you, and you open your phone to see what he wants. He is asking you your thoughts on Kevin and you tell him your honest opinion. 

“He's not the person I want around my soon-to-be girlfriend, he's just kinda untrustworthy and he has kind of a messed up history with girls.” You type.

“He's not the one you should be worried about. The party was couples only and Steph is trying to win over Marie and you weren't invited so he could flirt with her without you knowing.” He replied.

You thought that you and Steph were close enough for him not to try anything but I guess he was lying to your face the whole time. One of the people that you thought was rather close to you and he is trying that. 

You attempt to fall asleep but you can't fall asleep with the thought of some people trying to win over Marie before you have a chance to ask her out. You end up putting your AirPods in your ears and listening to sad songs like “Copacabana”, “The World We Knew”, and “2055”. As the music plays you think about how you will act the next day. Will you choose to be talkative, shy, and funny, or will you be happy and act like nothing ever happened and everything is going to be ok? Even if your grades are bad, you are constantly losing friends, your brothers are bullying you but you can't do anything about it, your parents are disappointed in you because of grades, you are doing bad in sports, and now you are doing bad in a relationship. What can you do to make it all go? You decide not to think of that and just to put on a smile the next day. You fall to sleep still with music playing in your ears.

Your favorite part of the day is the 5 seconds after you wake up because you don't remember anything. You don't have any worries until that 5 minute is done and you remember where you are and who you are. You wake up to your parents yelling throughout the house making sure you know you have 45 minutes until you have to get ready for school, not ready for the bus, they are just telling you that you have 45 minutes until you have to start getting ready. You try to fall back asleep but your parents are constantly yelling at you every five minutes. You get your clothes on, skip breakfast, try to make your hair look good, and think about Marie and how she's the only thing not making you want to give up or run away. Your only motivation is not to disappoint her. You sprint out of your house get onto the bus and get into your spot. You smile as you leave your house behind. You see the deer in the ditch, it looks like it's sleeping but you know what happened to it. You arrive at school and see the same vice principal, you go to the same classes and see the same people acting the same. You get past school and go to practice where you do the same drills because your team still has the same problems and your coach yells at you for the same things and you just laugh at him. The repetition is driving you mad. This time your brother gave you a ride home from practice and he listened to heavy metal music while you toon it out so you could look out the window, and you see the deer but it's different this time, it started rotting and looking horrible. When you get home you go through the same routine that you always do. You smell the food your dad made and you look over and see pork chops. You take a shower and rush down and eat. You barely ate lunch so you're eating this meal like it's your last. Your mother ends up yelling at you for eating too fast. After dinner, you go to bed and you want to sleep but you can't because your sleep schedule is horrible. You think that maybe tomorrow you will ask her out after your basketball game and during the varsity. You and her could start walking around outside of the school and you could ask her there. All of the paranoia and fear will be washed away as soon as you just ask her and Kevin and Steph won't try anything. You get to sleep earlier than usual and you at first wake up happy then determined. You skip breakfast and run to the bus that you see stopping at your driving you run into it and your spot is taken. You look around and there are no open spots. You end up sitting next to a small child you guess he's in around 3rd grade. He doesn't say anything to you but he crowds closer to the window, he's probably uncomfortable because a big kid is sitting next to him. On the bus, you look for the deer but you can't find it, there is another herd in the cornfield. You arrive at school and you are cruising through the day. The teachers were nice and didn't assign anything and nobody was mean or annoying. School goes quickly and you have to play in your basketball game which you win but only because of the 4 good players on your team. Now during the Varsity game, you decide to be quick and you take Marie out for a walk. You only saw about a minute of the Varsity play but you don't care. You take her to the bridge in town and you decide that will be the spot to ask her out. The words slowly come out of your mouth because of you being nervous and before you finish your sentence she says yes. You two walk hand in hand back to the game, the rest of the night gets blurred out by the happiness you no possess. You were finally happy.