It's 9 pm on the last day of summer, and the weather is getting colder and gloomy. You like it but hate it at the same time. How is school already tomorrow? You think in your bed along with a recap of summer. What a great summer you and your friends had, you tried new things some worked and some didn't, but you are just a 15-year-old kid trying to live life to its fullest. 

It's 6 am, and your alarm screams in your ear, that will be a great way to wake up every morning for the next 9 months, you think sarcastically barely rolling out of bed. 

It is already 7:30 and after doing your normal routine for the morning, you grab your soccer bag and school bag. Butterflies enter your stomach as you walk out the door to the car. It's your first year of high school. How will this go? Will your grades be good? Will you keep the same friends? The friend part worries you the most because your dad always said you would lose friends in high school, you didn't ever listen to him, but now you overthink everything.
Walking into those school doors will be nothing new for you as over the summer you've been weightlifting along with soccer practices. However, it will be weird having whole different hallways, classrooms, and even people in the school.

As always the first day of school is useless every teacher asks you how the summer was, and hands you a two-page syllabus due the next day. Finally the final bell rings, you get out of algebra and go to soccer practice, your favorite part of the day. Getting down to the pitch and playing your favorite sport with your friends.

You're always the first on the pitch, you have your cleats on and already dribbling before your coach even gets there, the small light touches of the ball on your feet shut the noise off around you. It’s just you and the ball. How could anyone possibly love this sport more than you?

But you don't know that there’s no competition for that. Your three friends, Owen who is very athletic, Clayton who is not extremely athletic but is very funny, and Nolan who has a little too high of an ego, are losing love for the game because of you, but you only trying to reach your goals, and they hate on you for trying to be a leader.

What's weird is over the summer you were messing around everywhere with those friends, but when soccer season hit something changed in you, you sort of realize the immaturity in your friends, and you take everything seriously, but your friends don't like it one bit. But why?

The ending for practice is going to be terrible from now on having to go home all sweaty and tired, and now you’ll have to do homework.

A few days pass and it is finally game day. A week with no games kills a skinny 15-year-old like yourself. Constant running, and preparation for the game, but now you can prove yourself. 

Your coach always tells your team to wear jerseys on home games, and you show up to school with it, but Clayton or Owen don't. Since you have first hour with Clayton you ask him “Where's your jersey?”
He replies “I forgot it.”

You think that it's normal because he's always forgetting stuff, but you don't know that he doesn't want to wear it because it's embarrassing.

Game time comes. 7:00 The sky is beautiful, a sunset like you have never seen before, the big lights are on, you feel the slow cool fall breeze, the smell of the grass is amazing, and the pregame butterflies, it is always a great feeling. Before kickoff you see Owen and Clayton talking and laughing, Clayton must have told him a joke, but you overthink, why didn’t he call me over to tell me?

The first kick of the game is to them, you rush to get the ball. As the game goes on you hear communication on the field, and you see the ball rolling to you. Finally, it’s time to show what you have practiced. But you make a bad pass and cause a turnover, it’s ok, you tell yourself and to get back to the next play.

Halftime comes and you are up 2-0 but you are playing badly. What is happening, you keep turning the ball over, your dribbling is not on point tonight. You say to yourself, “You have another half, go out there and improve.”

As coaches are talking about the first half, you see Clayton and Owen laughing, you speak up and say “Listen Up, Coach is talking.”

Clayton says, “I'm so sorry,” sarcastically as always.

The second half starts, and the balls pass to you but you missed, now you’re in your head, mad at yourself, why are you doing this bad? You work the hardest at practice and you’re not showing it.

The outcome of the game was good, but not for you the score was 4-2, but you remember that every good player has bad games. 

Everyone almost packed up, but not you, You are sitting, thinking of the game. No one comes over asking you if you are okay, not even Clayton and Owen, but they are busy talking to two girls. You finish packing up and leave, no one says bye to you, and slowly start to overthink, do they like me anymore?

You get home and your parents are sitting on the couch. They didn’t go to your game, “How did the game go?” your mom asks

You lie and say “Great!”

The first week of school is already done, you go home and plop down on your bed you didn’t expect anything from soccer to in the classroom. Maybe next week will be better.

Monday morning already comes, you sigh as you hear your 6 am alarm, you’re missing summer more than ever, but were only a week into school.

As normal you do your morning routine grab your bags and head out the door. It's gameday but away. Today will hopefully be more successful than last week's game. However, for some reason feel no confidence like you always do, and you suddenly feel cautious and afraid to get injured, you’ve never thought this in your life, so why now?

Another day of school drags on, and one of your teachers mentions the first quiz of the year for Friday, That is no worry to you, you had good grades last year, you should this year.

The bus ride to the game is quiet for you, but not your friends Clayton, Owen, and Nolan They are laughing away at stuff, you get a glance at them and start to get an overthinking feeling again, did Clayton and Owen replace me?

It's 6:50 ten minutes before the game time You're warming up well, you're in for a good game.

Your coach pulls you aside, “Kaiden, you're going to make mistakes in-game, it's going to happen every game, don't worry about them, get to the next play,” 

“Ok I’ll try, I promise you, this game will be different.”

The kick goes off, 90 minutes to play, 90 minutes to win.

The first ten minutes are great, you’re making good passes, and your dribbling is on point tonight it's going to be a good game. However, ten minutes later something happens that will completely change your mentality, confidence, and playstyle for the rest of the season.

You’re dribbling the ball it's a one vs. one vs the goalie, you’ve had this scenario in your head all season. Suddenly all the noise of parents yelling, and coaches fades away almost as if you went deaf. All you hear is your fast heartbeat and heavy breathing. You get a glance to your right, and it's a defender slide tackling for the ball, you trip over his knee, and go flying, you land knee first right into the ground, and you feel nothing for a quick second until this horrible pain forms in your left knee, you scream in pain. It's nothing you’ve ever felt before. The refs stop the game your coaches come rushing over with the trainer, the trainer is asking you questions but all you can focus on is the sharp pain in your knee.

The coaches help you off the field and you sit on the bench with ice on your knee, but you don’t feel the wet coldness and chunks of ice like you normally would, you couldn’t even feel your leg.

Halftime comes and you’re up 4-0, your team meets over on the side of the bench, and you decide to join them, but no one helps you over there, your supposed friends don’t even ask you if you’re ok, and you can't do anything but shake your head at that though.

The game ends early in a mercy rule 8-0 a great feeling. Maybe for your teammates, but not you, you’re feeling down on yourself, you were playing so well, but an injury that will put you out for two games kills your confidence.

Two weeks pass, and it's the second half of another away game, your second game back from the knee injury, but another unexpected twist happens, you're chasing the person with the ball, and he tries to pass it, but it goes straight to your head, you fall but something doesn’t feel right.

The trainer takes you off and does concussion testing on you, the results won’t come until the next day, but you have to sit out the rest of the game.

You get home at 9:45 at night, you’re resting on your bed checking your grades, and you’re in complete shock, you see your missing assignment and you see 3, your stomach sinks, normally your missing assignments are empty, but you also see a D in English, you forgot your article annotations. You’ve had no time to do school work, you suddenly feel rushed, and you're tired but have work to do what do you do?

The next morning is rough you slept past your alarm, and you have to skip breakfast and hop right in the shower. 

You get to school and rush straight to the trainer's room for results.

The trainer says “So, you do have a concussion, you will have to go through a four-step process, take it day by day, and we’ll see on Friday.”

You slouch and almost shed tears,” Ok, thank you,” You say and walk out realizing you left your soccer bag at home, “No!” you yell putting your head down, you think about what the trainer said. Friday is game day, but not just any game, it’s against your crosstown rivals Bayville, the last and most important game of the year before playoffs.

While you have been sitting on the bench, slowly losing your confidence your friend Owen has been helping the team significantly, but how? He doesn’t do anything at practice, you work harder than him 100% of the time. How is he playing better than you? Are you not good at soccer anymore?

The day drags on, and on, teachers handing out more and more work, and you get that feeling again, that rushed feeling. What do you do first? Will I have time? Will I be tired?

The bad weather cancels practice which is good for you. You rush home to get all your work done, but you’re tired, and you lay in your bed on your phone.

It's already 6 o’clock and you haven’t gotten any work done and it's supper time.

You tell yourself you have to finish your work after supper, but do you listen to that thought? No, you get distracted by technology for the rest of the night.

It's finally Friday game time, and the trainer says you can play, good now you can show everyone your skill, you think.

The game goes on, but you are not playing well, you get subbed out and slam your water bottle on the ground, “What is going on!” you yell, Clayton on the bench doesn’t help you, he tells you to shut up, what a great friend he is, not helping you just telling me what to do.

The end of the game ends in a tie, 2-2, and you played terribly, and Owen played amazingly. All you feel is jealousy and anger. He was playing well without working hard, how you wish that was you.

You get home and get straight to your schoolwork. There is so much to do, and so little time, so you decide to put your AirPods in and listen to music while you work. A few minutes go by and you’re on a roll for assignments, you get all the missing assignments done along with the current work you got this past week, and you finally feel a little better about grades, but you're still tired as can be, its only 8 pm on a Friday and you're already going to bed.

It's Monday at 5:55 am, 5 minutes before your alarm goes off, so you decide just to get your day started. It's a big day, playoffs, and you’re dedicated to playing well, you think of nothing else during breakfast. For some reason that first bite of breakfast is like nothing you’ve ever had, you haven’t had breakfast in days, and that crunch of bacon tasted fresh out of a smoker.

It’s time for school, you just have that feeling that it's going to be a good day, all your homework is done, you’re not injured anymore, and you feel confident for the first time in weeks, and as you leave you see a squirrel by a tree, almost like its lost, its mind looks like it's scrambled like it has thousands of things to do in minimum time, before winter hits.

Game time comes, and you start warming up an hour before the game starts, You think about scenarios in-game “Just imagine yourself winning,” You tell yourself.

Clayton and Owen arrive at the same time, laughing as always, “Hey where were you guys,” You ask them “Oh me and Owen hung out before the game,” Clayton says. They didn’t invite me? You think, you stop that thought right away, you have possibly one more game to prove yourself. What you don’t know is this will be your last game, and it will end horribly for your team.

The game is twenty minutes in and you’re playing well, and confident with every shot, pass, and dribbling, but you’re already down 1-0.

The second half comes and the score is not looking good, 3-0, in playoffs, you’re finally playing well, and it seems like no one around you wants to try.

Finally, a little hope shows up in the second half, you score! It’s 3-1, but no one congratulates you for the goal, no one runs to you.

The game ends, the score is 4-1, and won’t be able to play until next year because of the cold weather. What a horrible season you had, and it won't get any better, basketball season is around the corner, and you doubt if you should even play at all, it was hard enough with soccer to keep your grades up, just play you tell yourself. What a bad decision that will be.