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The Rivet
It was afternoon. Two girls sitting under the big tree. Older girl was 15-year-old and her name is Kate. And the younger girl was 10-year old. Oldest girl slept on the grass. It was quiet. Few years ago there was a river, but now it has dried up.
Tell me, the younger girl said, how was it when there was a river?
I was too young, the other girl answered, but I can remember that our mother got a scar on her leg here.
Two young girls sat together under the tree. One of them was Charlotte and she was around 5 years old. Kate was her older sister and was 7 years old.
Hey, girls, wait me there, the woman said. She was the mother of girls. I will come back soon, I forgot my hat. She left.
Oldest girl started to read. It was quiet and no more people were there. After a while the oldest girl started to sleep. And Charlotte wanted to swim. So she swimmed. She swimmed too far away. The older girl saw that, and started to scream. Nobody answered. There is nobody around.
The woman came back at that moment, ran into the water, but there was a lot of trash: paper, old clothes, glass… One piece of the green bottle scaped against her leg and made massive cut in her leg. For a long time the woman and the girl looked in the water, nobody was there. Everything was quiet now.
How was it when there was a river? Tell me more, the younger girl said.
My mom was happy. And dad was happy. Every summer we swimmed in that river. When Charlotte is gone there can’t be how there were before. That's how it was when there was a river.
Am I similar to Charlotte? Younger girl asked.
No. You are different. But that’s good. They are starting to forget about my younger sister, Charlotte, to frogate that pain. The older sister said. But I want to remember the river that’s gone. Our parents didn't want to see the place where the river was. Everything is similar. The river was gone, and our mom had a scar on her leg. Everything will change all the time, but something will stay.. Charlotte is gone, but you are here. River is gone but the tree is her.
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To write that set piece I used anaphora to show that everything changed when the river was gone and that river is important in the story. Also I used flashbacks to describe how Charlotte died. I used an epistrophe in the sentence.