A Humorous Fall | Teen Ink

A Humorous Fall

November 2, 2023
By EThanLIu09090 BRONZE, Cupertino, California
EThanLIu09090 BRONZE, Cupertino, California
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

In this set piece I am trying to write like Raymond Carver. I am referring to myself as “boy” instead of my name and my friend as “friend” instead of their name. I didn’t use any quotation works as well.


It was finally the day of the long-awaited relay race. It is a time when all students compete with each other regardless of their grade. At that time, the Boy was just a mere 12 years old. He was immature, short, and needed to prove something. The Boy was carefully selecting the fastest people in his sixth-grade class to make the finest team one could make. Eventually, the Boy had made his group of four.  To say the least, the Boy was confident of winning. Going up to the dirt track, the Boy said, Today, we’re going to prove pixies shouldn’t be underestimated. We will beat the 7th and 8th graders! When the time had finally come, the Boy was the second to run. He knew he wasn’t the fastest so he let his teammate be the last one. Preparing to run, the Boy took a deep breath. The hot sun shined on him while the grass was still nice and damp, the track was overfilled with students of all ages, and the ground was dusty as usual. Seeing the students preparing to sprint, the Boy hastily looked around to find his teammate. As his eyes found him, the whistle blew. 

Everyone ran with a burst of speed. His teammate out-sprinted 3 people immediately and slowly overtook the 2nd place runner but couldn’t quite reach first. As the students neared their teammates, it was clear that the Boy’s teammate would be second but not first. As the Boy’s Teammate got closer and closer, his palm was suddenly filled with sweat and his heartbeat was ever-increasing. 3…2…1 and the baton was thrust into the Boy’s hand. Surprisingly, he was number one. Everyone else was behind and the distance to his partner got shorter and shorter. As the Boy approached his teammate, he quickly glanced back to see the competitors a good few feet behind. 

To say that was a mistake was an understatement. The moment the boy turned back, he was right at the finish. His feet were caught up with his teammates and both went tumbling to the ground. To his utter disappointment, the lead he put so much effort in disappeared in the blink of an eye. All the Boy could do was see his teammate do a pitiful jog to the next stop. 


The author's comments:

I am a student from cupertino.


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