It was a relatively easy flight. After our Glacier National Park trip was canceled, thank goodness. I was so frustrated that our dad scheduled this; why not Hawaii? This is where I was at as I made it to this ridge looking out over the desolate cold. Asking Dad for the hundredth time if we could stop for a snack he finally said “Yes”. Setting down my backpack, I took off my sweaty gloves. I knew my hands would be cold in a few minutes, but I didn’t care. 

“Do you want me to help you carry some of your things?" said my Brother.

 The blood rushed to my face. His deliberately provocative comment only impressed upon me how impatient he was for the time I was taking. Dad didn't  understand that jab and I knew he would get mad at me when I retaliated. But I did it anyway, turning around, punching him in the stomach. 

“Mé-haw, don’t hit your Brother!” 

My protests burst from my lips. 

“I don’t care what he has done,’ said Dad.

Later as I was walking  beside Dad making our way up the sand flats fighting through knee deep mud alongside the glacier, he said, “When you react you show how weak you are. Try not to give away your power.” His comment was almost as hurtful as the one that had driven me to hit my brother. As I kept walking I started crying tears running down my face. Why am I such a mess? Everything is falling apart.  At that moment I hated this stupid trip, “I whispered I just want to go home”. 

Setting up the tent with my dad I got so frustrated with the door it wouldn't open with the rain fly jammed in the zipper. Jerking the tent zipper I ripped the seam next to the door. My eyes teared over. 

“Dad is going to be so mad,” my brother said. 

“Please don’t tell him!”

“Haha, I won’t; that's all you”.

I thought. My tears became sobs, mumbling under my breath, “Crap, crap, crap.”

“Kiddo, don't curse,” said Dad as he walked by on his way to the camp cooking area. 

Should I tell him? If not now when? Then I thought, do I really  have to, he might overlook it? No no I will tell him…

“Mé-haw,” my father said in a forbidding voice. 

“What happened to the tent?”

Dang I missed the opportunity to tell him. Knowing that it would be much worse now I started crying. 

“Don't cry. You are a big girl,” said Dad. “I am not mad.” 

I stormed off with the blood in my face.  Fuming, I walked down the ridge to the waterfall. Staring deep into the roaring water falling hundreds of feet outta sight into the center of the glacier all my anger melted away. Looking out over the vast untouched land, I felt small in my mind’s eye, I found a sense of comfort in the vast expanse. As the sun set at 23:45 and the bright blue sky fell away and revealed the beauty of the Milky way.

As the sun started to rise I walked back to the camp. The silence was all powerful; slowly broken as the heat of the sun melted the ice. The river flowed once more, crashing off the cliffs of ice into the depths of the glacier. With the new day it was as if the people of our “yesterday” were washed away in the new day's sun. Carried out to sea by the mighty river rushing forth every day anew. Almost as if they were forgotten. As I sat up in the tent, the sun warmed my face and I felt a sense of peace wash over me.  Smiling I guess there really is a great raw beauty that goes beyond what you can see.