I walked down the forever long hallway or what felt forever long, that was filled with stale air that smelt like chemicals.  I had never been so scared at a place that helps children. The hallways were covered in different brightly colored paint, trying to make the children feel welcome and give them hope, but as I walked down the children’s hospital hallway, all I could think about was how nervous I was.

When we finally got to his room after that endless hallway. I felt like I couldn’t breathe and that everything was about to come crashing down in a matter of seconds, but I couldn’t show it. I had to be strong for my mom and dad. They had been through so much already this year with my mom and now with my brother I couldn’t show them how I truly was feeling. I thought this until my internal monologue was interrupted by a nurse.

“Here, may I put this on you? Is that okay?” The nurse asked. I wasn’t sure what to say. I didn’t even know what she was holding. 

“I-I guess? What is that?” I managed to stutter out. Even though I sounded a lot more confident in my head then I truly did. 

“You have to wear this to get into Ivan’s room. See your dad is also wearing one, but whenever you leave you have to take it back off. And put a new one on before you can enter.” My mom interrupted. I still had no words to say, but I went with it. 

The nurse put the kids version of a hospital yellow banana suit (this is what my parents and I decided the name was). I felt uncomfortable in it. It was way too big, but to be fair I am still a very small 7 year old. My mom put hers on and asked if I was going to be okay. 

I responded with; “Yes of course I am.” Even though I wasn’t ready, I had to tell her I was. I couldn’t let her down by saying I was scared to see my dying older brother. That would be against everything I’ve been doing this past month. 

After I responded my mom gave me a look to say “Are you being honest” I slightly nodded my head she wasn’t allowed to know how I really felt. The nod was not enough to be convincing to anyone, but she let it go. The nurse led us to his room. It wasn't that far away from the banana station, but you still had to walk. She pointed at his room and gave us a small simile. My mom walked in before me while I took a breath. Then I slowly walked through the doorway. I finally made it.