The August leaves were crisp. I gave him a hug. He hugged me back. We went pumpkin hunting that day. Then we went back to the apartment and carved them. Mine was hideous, but his with his long artistic fingers was beautiful. We started throwing the pumpkin guts at each other. My face was glowing, he, with his goofy sideways smile was laughing. I always wondered how I scored a man that beautiful, a man currently holding my hand as I move to green hills above. I love you Mateo. 

      At that time, I had more hair, my hair was ginger, shiny, I was trying to grow it down until my waist. I never managed to, I was too stubborn and impatient. When I got Lance, I had no time to think about such things as hair. His first day of kindergarten was one of the saddest days of my life. He had just the right mix of our features, my nose, Mateo’s eyes. Lance would grow up to marry a beautiful, loving girl. After Lance, we had Rose. She’s gorgeous and sweet. On her 13th birthday, we went out, just us, no boys. We spent five hundred dollars that day on clothes and makeup. Then we snuck into a barn, a clean and unused one, and pretended we were walking the runway in New York City. I fell asleep with my arm around her on a stack of hay. Mateo called the police looking for us. His face was something straight out of a movie. I love you Lance, I love you Rose. 

    When I was studying to get my degree in biology, I couldn’t afford a social life. One day, Janey dragged me out to this bar. She dressed us up, bought us wigs, and made us completely different people. My ginger hair was blonde, my nose was one I dreamt of, and my eyebags were hidden under glamor and flamboyance. That day 3 men bought each of us drinks. That day my name was not Poppy, it was Elizabeth. That day, I knew I wasn’t a girl anymore, I was a woman. When we got home, we were so drunk we could barely stand. I had the best sleep of my life. I love you Janey. 

      Mom and Dad were my biggest supporters. We didn’t have much money growing up. I slept on a mattress on the floor most of middle school, but Mom and Dad worked their hardest, and I knew that. I was young and stupid, I regret every hurtful thing I’ve said to them. When I went to the hospital for breaking my ankle falling off the rickety old apartment monkey-bars, Mom couldn’t sleep all night. She hugged me for 30 minutes, not letting go. That’s why I loved my ginger hair so much, it was from her. Dad always told me how much he loved me. He got my name tattooed across his chest. He taught me never to lower my standards for anyone. I didn’t. Thank you Mom, Thank you Dad, I love you. 

     My hair is not ginger anymore, it’s pale white, I’m balding. Mateo is still with me, Lance and Rose are grown. My smile lines are permanently etched in my skin, looking like a drawing of wisdom scribbled on me. My eyes are closing, but I am happy. I am leaving, but I am happy. To everyone that helped me in my life, I love you.