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Things Worth Running From MAG
The music in the car sounded like white noise. Thoughts raced through my skull, penetrating my
head like a bullet. My foot was shaking on the gas as I rolled down a secluded road in the middle of the woods. Fog filled up the road on this cold morning, just as my life had seemed to have become a fog. Flashbacks flipped through my mind like a dusty photo album on a shelf that should not be touched.
I had to find a way to relieve myself of my sins. That poor girl. That innocent little child with the ponytail and adorable purple glasses. All she saw were headlights. I was drunkenly screaming 85 miles per hour down the dark, isolated road in the dense forest. The ghastly sound of the impact made all my surroundings go numb. I could not move a single muscle. I slammed on the brakes and froze. Frozen in time, suspended in my biggest nightmare. I am so selfish. I did not pay for my great sin. I avoided the Piper. I ran. My whole entire life I have been running from reality, but this is the biggest chase. It was my darkest hour, the turning point of sanity. I slammed on the gas and fled the scene, leaving smoke behind me so I did not have to face the reality of what I had done. She could have been okay. She could have been okay!
The smell of burning tires and whiskey haunted my nose as I bolted down the road. Every hair on my body stood up, and my stomach felt as if it was eating itself. I am a sick individual. I am an abomination. Such an abomination that I left my family. My beautiful wife and my two daughters who I brought into this world. That little girl was someone's baby. It could have been my babies. I could not look at my family after the incident. The screams and cries of my wife echoed throughout my soul. "Hank, what have you done, what have you done?" I had to run. I just had to keep running away from it. I could not stomach the guilt and shame when I looked at my family. I could no longer bear the burden in my head. I could not go on with this life much longer.
A year has passed, and now I have arrived at my destination. The engine fell to a murmur as I parked alongside the road. The same road where I had left that child for dead. I stepped outside of my truck onto the road. I saw the same tire tracks from when I slammed on the breaks a year ago. I did not come here to dwell on the past any longer. I have had enough self-sorrow. It was time to find myself and forgive myself.
I grabbed my large backpack that contained only a blanket, a knife, a Zippo, and some rations of food and water. I needed to escape the world. I left my phone in my truck and descended into the depths of the forest. One mile passed after the next, I walked until I could no longer. I set my blanket on the ground and laid under the canopies of life. The forest had a mystical glow from the sun passing through the leaves. The silence of the forest spoke volumes. The wind blowing through the tall canopies made a blissful whistle. I drifted off to sleep, falling into the perfect slumber.
The next morning, I awoke from the best sleep in my 42 years of living. The mission
was not over quite yet, but I was getting somewhere. My stomach was rumbling because I had no place for hunger in my head yesterday. I drank a whole container of applesauce, along with some tough beef jerky. Feeling replenished, I began to set out to find a spot to sit and bask in nature. I trekked the forest terrain for several hours which, seemed like an eternity of contentment. I watched the wildlife scuttle around the brush. I saw families of deer, the brilliant horns protruding from the adults’ heads. They nurtured the adolescents, making sure they were well fed. The beautiful ballads of my winged friends cascaded throughout the forest. The smell of lilacs that graced my nose made my heart melt. I began to notice a clearing ahead that drew me in, as if I was an innocent child stumbling toward a toy store. Piercing through the horizon was a spectacular mountain range with trees as old as time erecting from it. I stepped out onto a large jagged ledge that hung from the rocky landscape. I laid down my blanket on the rocks and sat upon it. I gawked at the ginormous forest below me. I could see the entire horizon, as the sunset lit up the sky like an ombré of tangerine and velvet. I was in awe of the beauty of nature. I could sit there for eternity, not a care in the world. This could be my final resting place, and I would not even question God or whoever was up there in the stars watching over us. I laid down, gazing at the stars that began appearing in the ever-so-darkening sky.
My peace was disrupted by rustling in the woods. I positioned my head so I could look behind me. There it was. The Piper. A muscular panther was on the prowl, his head protruded from the clearing from which I had come. His gargantuan, glowing-yellow eyes pierced through the night, glaring at me ever so hungry. The blue moon illuminated his blue coat and masculine physique. I turned my head back and looked across the constellations one last time before it was time to go. I felt his presence grow closer and closer, his low purr rattled like a snake preparing to engulf his next victim. This is it. At last, the chase was over. There was no more running now. Death had caught up.
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Authors Notes:
In this piece, I decided to tell a story of someone who is facing a lot of trauma from their past which they were running away from. I myself have had some unpleasant experiences, none of which I would say have given me intense trauma as Hank Nelson had experienced, but I have learned that your past is concrete and all you can do is move forward. I wanted Hank Nelson to forget his past no matter how terrible it was. I wanted him to attempt to find a way to escape his constant disgust of himself. I have had self loathing of my own actions or the situation and I know you cannot lose your future because of your past. Hank Nelson was able to overcome his haunting thoughts. I made a point of having Hank be fearful of his past and gave him the need to run. It came full circle when he was ready to pay his dues to society for his mistakes. This was pretty fun to write.