I remember the mix of all kinds of emotions building up inside of me as I was waiting for the news. It had been 2 long days and I could feel that it was happening soon. Right when I was about to go crazy from not knowing anything for so long, I could hear my dad coming down the stairs. My head shot up as he held out the picture on his phone and said the words,
“He's here! Meet your new nephew, Willcox.”
He had deep blue eyes and a perfect round face. There was a pink and blue hat that was placed on his soft blushed head. Tears ran down my face while I was thinking about how proud I was of Emily. Imagining her sitting there holding him in her small hospital bed and how joyous she must have felt made me feel so happy for her. She has always wanted to be a mother and I knew that she was going to do amazing.
“When do we get to go up to meet him?” I asked my parents at the dinner table
Little did I know that question would change my mood from cheerful to heartbroken within seconds.
“Peyt, were not really sure at this point. COVID is just so bad right now and we can't take the chance of either of them getting it, both of their immune systems are so vulnerable.” My dad told me with a heavy heart.
I knew my mom and dad were going through the same amount of pain and heartbreak as me because they were not able to meet their first grandson, but I still somehow felt as if I was going through everything alone. The only thing I could do that day was cry. It was awful, all I wanted to do was meet my new nephew and be there with my sister so she wasn't going through it herself.

I can remember sitting in the family room on the couch, letting my mind take advantage of me. All I could think was negative thoughts. What if I can't see him until he's much older? What if Emily begins to feel to sad or too overwhelmed and no one can be there for her? When will COVID ever be over? Will she be too busy to FaceTime us? I finally mustered up the strength to go upstairs and get into bed. It was a laborious task trying to fall asleep that night.
While laying there failing to fall asleep all I could think were depressing thoughts. It seemed like there was a filter in my mind that made only lousy thoughts go through. I layed there in my soft warm bed trying to think about happier things, but it was so challenging. But then out of nowhere, the filter in my mind switched. A thought popped into my mind about how I shouldn't be thinking of Will being born as a burden in my life but rather a light that helped guide me out of all the negativity that was happening in the world. I now had a light at the end of the tunnel. Something to look forward to. Despite COVID, online school, and the lack of socialization, I now had something great to look forward to in my life. And I knew that eventually I would be able to meet him and be there for Emily.
So for the next couple of days, I tried to look at this situation differently. I had to overcome my anxious and negative feelings and find ways to be happy. Some of those ways being, calling or FaceTiming with Em and Will, looking forward to the lake trip I had planned with my friends in the upcoming weekend or even just showing pictures of him to friends and family.
After my wonderful trip with my friends, I was awarded with some more good news to make my week even better, I would finally be going to see my sister and the baby. The first time I got to hold him in my arms was surreal. All of the virtual pictures and FaceTimes turned into a real thing. That was the greatest feeling I've ever experienced, the warmth of his tiny body in my

arms, locking eye contact with his big blue eyes. At the end of the day, there is always a light that shines through the darkest of situations; you just have to look for it.