I thought I was dead. I saw darkness and I was drifting in an abyss. Then the darkness rippled and I heard sounds, saw colours. I had returned to life, was my only thought before I plummeted into a coma. “Wake up,” I heard someone say as I surfaced in my consciousness before I spiraled down, down, down. The next time I came close to consciousness, I heard no voices. In place of that, there was the rocking of chair and then someone leaned over me. “Wake up,” she said and I fell asleep. The next time I came close to waking up there was no one at all. I opened my eyes. Sunlight hit me and I closed my eyes. I opened them a crack and then a little bit more. I was in a gray room. Someone had obviously tried to make it nicer, but there wasn’t much they could do. Pale pink curtains covered the windows, not doing much. There were a few wooden chairs and I was in a dark wood bed that easily dwarfed me. I was covered by a pale pink blanket. 

A woman entered my room. She was cloaked in gray, her face somber. Had someone died? When she saw me she shrieked. Suddenly my room was a swarm of people, doctors, surgeons, the people of the house. “You were in a coma for a week,” one doctor said. “Do you know who I am?” another one asked. “Do you know where you are?” A photo went up. “Who is she?” The questions went on and on and I couldn't voice the one answer in my head. I don't know. So, instead, I allowed myself to give in, to drift down and down and not hear the voices around me until they were gone. 

When I woke again, I was alone. The peace was comforting. A woman entered my room and her voice was fragile yet warm. It was comforting. She was the one who was with me when I first came close to waking. “Sorry Katherine, we didn't know they would overwhelm you. Do you know who I am?” Her voice was quiet, close to breaking. I didn't want to be the one who broke her. “Yes,” I said. It was a lie. She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. 

Katherine. Katherine. Katherine. The name stayed with me. I was Katherine. My name is Katherine. But it didn't feel right. My name is Kat. That felt better. The thought echoed in my head. A woman in gray came with food and I smiled. I was Kat. “How are you,” she asked. “Good,” I said, my voice deliberately steady. She pursed her lips. “Do you - do you want to go out?” 

I nodded. I went for a small walk around the gardens. Everyone was the same, kind but cautious. They were deliberately keeping a distance. But why? What had happened. Who was I? 

I was lead back to my room through gray, drab hallways. All the doors were open. Except one. It was closed. Locked. It was closed with a padlock, with a shiny new lock that didn't seem to match the rustic door. I was drawn to it, the door felt like it should be mine. “What’s in there?” I asked, pointing to it. “Nothing,” the woman said. I was lead back to my room, too fast to wonder at the quick response. Yet the door haunted me all day. I was pulled to it, I needed to know what was inside. 

I asked the woman who had called me Katherine, “Can I see inside the locked door?” She shook her head. “You need to rest and recover. And the best way for you to do it is alone in a familiar landscape.” But this room isn’t familiar, I wanted to scream. That door is. But somehow, I knew that wouldn’t get me answers. Instead I forced a smile. 

I kept myself awake. At midnight I opened the door that led to my room with a creak. Then I slipped out, as silent as the night outside. I traced the way back to that door and stood outside it. It was the only door locked. But why? What was in there they didn't want me to know about. I reached over and tried to open it. A loud clang announced my efforts. I waited for one minute. Then another. Then I let go of a breath and walked out of the hallway. Into the waiting arms of the woman who had called me Katherine.

She lead me back to my room. “Katherine,” she said gently. “I know this has been hard for you. And that you want to know. But you need to rest. Honestly, it's a miracle you know who we are and we want to help you. Give it time. You’ll be fine. Everything is okay.” For some reason the words sent a shiver down my spine. Then there was a flash of memory. 

There was river. People in black. The woman who had called me Katherine, a cruel smile on her face. Her name was Ana. I was a prisoner in a chair with iron on it. And then, just as quickly as it had come, the memory was gone. 

“Kat,” Ana said urgently. I opened my eyes, still a meek eyed doe. I had remembered. This woman was not to be trusted. Now, if only I could see what was in that door,

I spent the day alone in my room. At night I slipped out of my window and clambered down a tree. The night was cold and the stars shone brightly. A lone owl hooted. Keeping to the walls, I walked to where the room was, crawled up the tree and looked inside. What I saw caught my breath.

It was a room for a little girl. Fairy lights were strung against the wall, and a small bed was covered in pink and stuffed animals. A bookshelf was to the side and and a small tent was draped in the side of the room. On the door was a name. Kat. Another flash of memory struck me, this time more vividly. 

I was skipping down the hall. Ana was leading me. She led me to this room and I fell on the bed. “I love it,” I told her. She smiled but it did not reach her eyes. 

I gasped as my eyes flew open, back to the present. And then I saw that something was wrong. Near the door but still in shadow was a chair. Its arms and legs were covered in iron, still bent by how I was bound. 

In a shocked daze, I went back to my room. And when Ana came into my room to wake me up from a sleep I was not in, I saw her face. And I remembered. 

People were talking, they were always talking. Doctors and men in black filled the house, my guardian had died of cancer. I didn't know much about my guardian, only that he was rich and I was his sole inheritor when I came of age. I didn't know what was happening, only that when they left, there was Ana and no one else. First she led me away from my room and into a gray room with no colour. No light. Then she whispered into phone talking with someone mysterious and she shooed me away when I tried to hear. Finally, while I was walking in the garden, I was grabbed. I screamed and fought but no one came and the men didn't let me go. They left me at at a roaring river, in a chair with iron on it. Ana and another man were screaming at me, wanting something, wanting money. Until I fell into a river and Ana screamed. Water was in my lungs and I was drowning, drowning. The darkness of the river was around me and then there was a sharp pain in my head. And then there was nothing at all. 

Ana shook me. “Are you okay?” she asked in false sympathy.  I nodded and looked up. When she saw my eyes, she knew I remembered. I remembered her and her scheme. Her plot to kidnap me and steal my fortune. She dragged me from the room and I fought until I was free. Once I was free, I ran. I ran, and ran, and ran as far as I could. I did not look back.