Royalty? Definitely not. Spoiled to a fault? Also, no. Born into a certain level of comfort or priviledge? Possibly. Fortunate to have everything that I do? Absolutely! So what does it mean to be a Jewish American (Princess)? I think that will depend on who you ask. The definition is not clear cut. The consensus seems to be that JAPs are known for an obsession with being trendy and prioritizing the way they look. They go to sleepaway camp over the summer, travel to tropical places or Europe during school vacations, covet brand name clothes and jewelry, live in large homes, and own expensive cars. People often think these girls are condescending towards other people and are snobs. To call someone a Jewish American Princess means you are describing what they have materialistically as well as making a judgement about who they are. To be called a JAP may be a compliment to some but for others, people like me, it is a derogatory term and a negative stereotype. For people like me it is a burden and simply upsetting.

It was a Monday and one of the first sunny, spring days of the season. I was a sophomore in high school. Running late, as usual, I raced into school with my new sunglasses still on my face. I was so excited to wear them that I neglected to take them off before entering the building.

“Alexa, are those a new pair of Ray Bans? Don’t you have like two other pairs already?”

I felt my mood shift immediately.

“Um, yes”, I replied in a quiet voice while I avoided eye contact with my friend.

I rushed to class feeling uneasy. That day at lunch, the same friend proceeded to share information of my new purchase with the entire lunch table.

“Did you guys see that Alexa got another new pair of sunglasses? You are such a JAP!”

The rest of the table didn’t say anything. What could they say? The silence was uncomfortable for me. I found myself explaining how I had saved the money I had gotten as gifts and finally had enough to purchase the glasses and they all knew sunglasses were something I loved. I don’t think they really heard a word I said. Two of my friends asked to see them and politely said they were nice. Another girl told me I was lucky since her mom wouldn’t let her spend so much money on sunglasses, let alone have more than one pair. A few more girls at the other end of the table rolled their eyes at me and laughed. I was so upset, I wanted to leave the table and cry. I didn’t understand why the sunglasses were such a big deal or why I felt the need to defend myself for having them. I wasn’t bragging or showing them off. I knew I was lucky to have them and had been saving up to be able to purchase them. I felt very

conflicted and alone. That afternoon on the bus ride home, I remembered an incident

around sunglasses several years back. That time, I was nine years old and away at sleepaway camp. It was my first summer away from home and I was surrounded by girls from other schools and from different states. Overall, I really liked sleepaway camp. Some of the kids were really nice and friendly. Others were not, but I had made some new friends and was overall having a good time. Even at age nine, I loved sunglasses. That particular summer, I had gotten a pair of blue and white sunglasses from Justice. I did notice that a lot of the other girls had more sophisticated, expensive looking sunglasses and I really liked them but at the time, I was perfectly happy with my fifteen dollar sunglasses from Justice.

“Did you get those sunglasses at Justice? I haven’t gone there in over a year! That store’s weird!”

I turned around to see a girl from one of the other bunks. She was part of a group that was known to be mean. I froze and didn’t say a word but I felt foolish. I tried to avoid her and her friends that summer and luckily I had a nice group of friends that all did the same thing. Sitting on the bus and recalling that incident, I was struck by the irony. In camp, I was considered odd for not having something expensive whereas in school, I was considered to be a JAP for having that same thing. Was I wrong for liking something as frivolous as sunglasses? Was it wrong that a pair of sunglasses made me happy? Was I a shallow person? Then, I started to get angry. I was a good friend and a

nice person. Maybe that incident nine years earlier had changed me and I hadn’t realized. Did my friends at school see me as the same type of girl who once made me feel so stupid? I felt guilty even though I knew that I had saved Hanukkah and birthday money to be able to purchase these glasses. Did my friends realize that both my parents work hard? Or that my dad travels a lot and even had to miss my birthday for work? Was I a stereotypical Jewish American Princess?

The truth is, I needed to figure out what was bothering me about these incidents. I know that I don’t want to be perceived as shallow or spoiled, as JAPs tend to be. I need to be confident and surround myself with people that are happy for the good things in my life. This has become a constant struggle for me. Friends in my hometown have said many things that make me feel badly about having something, whether it be sunglasses or summer camp or a vacation. If coming from a family that gives me amazing opportunities and yes, some material things as well makes me a JAP, then maybe I am a JAP, but I don’t think that is actually what I am. I believe in working hard and appreciating what I’m given. I want to earn my own money and save up for things that make me happy like sunglasses and I want to buy gifts for people close to me and make them happy as well. Just like all stereotypes, we forget that every person should be judged on who they are as an individual, how they carry themselves and treat other people. I am definitely a Jewish American, but I am certainly not a princess.