Why is this so hard? Ugh, I have no idea what to write about! Fighting a dragon? No, that is too fictional. First day of school? Hmmm. Too non-fictional. Um… Come on brain, wake up! This happens every time I try to write something. Especially on Mondays. Mondays are the worst. I have to wake up and go to school. Then do work. And please. Please do not even get me started on homework. Why is homework even a thing?! It is useless! Oooh, I am getting way off track, here. Maybe if I press random keys I will think of something. Gruwiggeuiliegrbckpqplfnx. Hm… Not working. Well, I cannot just skip writing this paper. I mean, I can, but I am not. Ugh, this is impossible… I think. Uh, words. This is not going to end well. The clock is ticking. Why do clocks have to tick? Ticking is annoying. Stop ticking clock! Okay, okay. Calm down and breathe. Deep breaths. This is infuriating. I should try reading. That helps, right?

You are wearing handmade loafers, a silk shirt, and three gold signet rings. Your English has a tinge of Oxford about it, and your nails have the soft sheen of the recently manicured. You are not a waiter. You are our contact Nguyen Xuan, and you have adopted this pathetic disguise to discreetly check for weaponry.

From Artemis Fowl

By Eoin Colfer

 Uuuugh! That did not help either. Think. Think harder. Think harderer! Okay, now I am just getting off track again. Stay focused. Sit up straight, hands on the keyboard, and let your brain do its work. I refuse to give up. Oh, never mind not giving up, this is useless! Why can my brain not do what it is supposed to do?! I could write about… No, that would not work at all. Maybe… Uh… Nope, that would not work either. How about… No, no, no! I do not know what to write! Uuugh. Hey, wait a minute. Maybe I should write about figuring out what to write about. Perfect! Now comes the hard part. I have to write it.