President Obama gives birth after hooking up with women from christian mingle. Obama had gotten lonely from his wife travelling so much to sponsor her “healthy food in schools” initiative. Nobody showed up to her meeting because nobody cares about her initiative because no kids want to eat healthy foods, so she should just stop forcing healthy food down our throats. Back to the topic at hand, since mrs. Obama was travelling mr. Obama decided to hook up with from christian mingle while he was in Las Vegas.
Tonight, Barack is in a Las Vegas hospital after allegedly hooking up with 6-10 women in the 3 days that he has been here. The odd part is he’s only suffering because his water broke early in the morning. Yes, you read that correctly Barack’s water broke, and gave birth at 6:04am this morning. Oddly enough he isn’t the first president to ever give birth to a child. Andrew Jackson had a similar occurrence happened to him but, he ended up dying from this. Barack has the heart of a bull though, and there was no way that he was going out the same way as Andrew. You may be wondering how is it possible for Barack to give birth? Well, nobody can knows for sure. When we approached his best friend Joe he kept “what happens in Vegas stays Vegas”. It’s clear that the drugs he used were the reason for his repetition of this phrase and slurred speech. Joe is also in the hospital because he fell off his tricycle while riding it on a cliff. It’s said he hit a few trees on the way down. #braindamage #prayforjoe #barackthemom. Back to Barack now, it’s still unclear how he got pregnant, but foul play is suspected after the 6-10 women he supposedly cheated on his wife and each other were allegedly seen beating him with large wooden sticks.
I’ve just received word that Barack has not finished the surgery he was scheduled to have today. I’m hearing buzz that Barack has passed away, but that simply can’t be true because he has the heart of a bull. This is a nightmare for Barack first he cheats on his wife with multiple women, gets caught cheating, gets hit with multiple large wooden sticks, he got pregnant, gave birth, and may have died. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Barack had a pretty rough weekend in Vegas. I don’t think he’ll want to go back anytime soon… I hope Joe’s okay if they both die then the speaker of the house becomes president. Nobody likes Paul Ryan and he isn’t worthy of being president. #notmypresident.