Every day is amazing until it’s not. Shrek, you ask me to watch Farkle, Fergus, and Felicia, and I always do. You ask me to look after your Swamp home when you’re on vacation and I do. You even ask me to clean your house and I do. It’s always I want, I want, me, me, me, but never what would you like donkey? Nope always you and I’ve had enough. Do you ever think about me or my family? I have six dronkeys and their mother, it’s a nightmare. Then on top of that having my best friend always calling me up asking to watch his kids regardless of my time. And the irony of it all is that it’s always me and never you. Never have you once offered to take care of the kids and you know the reason for my abandonment when I was younger. But asking never hurt, right? But apparently it does because you never ask, never how are you or even a thank you. Remember, I was with you on your journey to go to Duloc kingdom to get princess Fiona. Now you have just made me a pathetic side character in the story I helped build. But this has carried on for too long, the past five years like your slave and having to put my life and happiness on pause to keep yours moving, not anymore. I was your noble ride to the castle and now I will be your noble ride to vengeance. From now on I will be the one calling the shots. I’ll be telling the story and all you will be is a piece in my grand scheme. Now the big picture, Shrek, from now on you will be cleaning your own house, every single inch. And you will not be allowed breaks, I’ll make sure of that. My two dronkeys, Debbie and Coco, will be inside the house at all times to make sure you are working and if you disobey, they will use their fire breath to keep you in check, making it really hot inside. My other children, Bananas, Parfait, Peanut, and Enclair will be the house security. You will be required to feed my children whenever they are hungry, no matter the hour or the numerous times they ask, and they can be persistent. I will be there when I’d like and will leave a mess even if you’ve already cleaned, I guess you’ll have to clean it again. And if you step out of line, remember I have dragons and I’m not afraid to use them. I hope I am getting my message across crystal clear, so no whining or complaining. Now you can tell your wife Fiona how things will be organized around at the swamp. She will have some punishment too since she didn’t stand up for me. She will have to fetch food for our families. She will keep the dronkeys company when Dragon is not present. And finally, your children. They haven’t done anything wrong so they will be rewarded with Fiona’s company while you work. And as time goes on I might consider lifting such harsh punishment, under many circumstances. It was never my intention to get to this extent but Shrek, you pushed my buttons too far. Always hoped for a happy ending, never got one.