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Recipe to Receive a Failing Grade
Materials:
One heap of no motivation
Two fully grown concerned parents
Two whispers of hard work
One pocketful of late assignments
Ten sprinkles of tardies/missed days
Two blank tests*
One sheet to sign
*Optional, but recommended
Directions:
1. Start at the beginning of the school year (preferably the first day for best results).
2. Take one heap of no motivation and mix it into all of the work the teacher assigns during the class.
3. Let that settle for a couple of weeks. You will know it was prepared correctly if the two fully grown concerned parents rise.
4. Add in two whispers of hard work for a surprise flavor. Let the whole mixture settle for a week so the concerned parents don’t rise again.
5. Next, when the teacher instructs you, whisp in one pocketful of late assignments (this step might take a while depending on the thickness of the backpack).
6. Then, throughout the last couple of weeks sprinkle in some tardies and missed days. It is crucial to spread them out so you are totally confused and can’t comprehend any of the material given to you.
7. If you are given tests throughout the semester leave them blank when you turn them in. Putting down random answers can be risky due to the chance of actually getting some questions right. Don’t forget that a D- is still passing and you don’t want to risk receiving one.
8. Finally, you know you’re grade is fully prepared when you get one sheet stating that you must retake the class in summer school. Congratulations this ensured that you were successful in receiving a failing grade.
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