For most of us, being an Olympian deity is complicated, horribly so. All of our duties, form driving the sun to assigning the dead their fates. All of the things we embody and represent can make the wisest of us get headaches. I’m different. I understand the confusion, because I am confusion. I’m strife, chaos, and discord. My name’s Eris.

My gimmick is making things go wrong. It happens all the time around me. Today is no different. As a “minor” goddess, I have much less to do than others, so today is just strolling about watching the trouble that follows me. The strings on Apollo’s lyre snap as I pass. Hermes’ winged sandals molt all over the place. Demeter’s golden delicious tree drops all of it’s real golden apples, and an idea springs to mind as one rolls to my feet.

Locating three vain goddesses and a mortal man is easy. They are both everywhere you turn. I present the man, Paris, with the apple. On it is engraved “For the fairest”. Paris chooses Aphrodite over Hera and Athena, and gives the apple to her. The two losers are hilariously disconcerted. In return, Aphrodite makes the most lovely mortal woman on the earth fall in love with Paris. All going according to plan. That woman is none other than Helen, queen of Greece, and her hubby is not happy with her newfound interest in Paris of Troy. War blazes within days, and that means it’s time for me to sit back and enjoy the show!